"You said you'd never let me see this side of you!" DeAnna screamed. She quickly ran out of the diner, leaving Jasper alone. She continued running until she got a good ways away from the diner. She slowed down to a walk, trying to calm herself down. She hoped none of her friends were out and about. If they saw her like this, they'd start asking questions and she didn't want to have to relive the whole entire thing over and over again in her head. She looked around the town, no one was really out. Not that she cared, she just wanted to get home as quickly as possible. She finally strolled up to her door. There was a pause before she opened the door to walk in.
'Should I really go inside...? I mean... Ugh... I don't know...' She thought. She decided it was best if she went in and went straight to her room. She turned the knob and walked straight for the basement door.
"Dee!!" she heard from across the hall. It was her little brother, Cole.
"Hey buddy." She said, smiling. "How is your day?"
"It's good! I missed you, Dee... Where have you been?"
"I went out for something to eat. I'm home now, I'm gonna go downstairs to my room and relax. My tummy is very full." She said opening the door to the basement. She quickly headed down the stairs and plopped herself down on her bed. She hated telling her brother she was happy when really she was upset. She looked up at the ceiling and slowly drifted to sleep.1
She laid quietly on the beach, watching the stars and the waves. Digging her feet in the sand, she ignored the sounds from the party. She wasn't much of a party-goer, but Dreama forced her to go. She noticed a shadowy figure heading towards her. She ignored it, thinking it was some drunk teenager, but then thought about it more... The shadow was walking abnormally straight for someone who had been drinking. She continued watching the shadow out of the corner of her eye. They got closer and finally sat next to her. It was Jasper
"Hey there, beautiful." He said.
"Hi..." She replied, shyly.
"What're you doing all the way over here by yourself."
"I'm not much of a party person.. So, I figured I'd sit over here."
"Well, I'll keep you company."
"Why?"
"You're too pretty to be sitting by yourself, DeAnna." Jasper said, gently caressing her face. DeAnna smiled and blushed a little. Luckily, Jasper couldn't see by only the moonlight. They continued talking for a long while. The party started to die down a lot. They decided that it was time they said good night.
"Well, DeAnna... I wanna ask you a very important question..." Jasper said.
"Sure..." DeAnna said, nervously.
"Will you be my girlfriend?
"I dunno.. I'm not into the dating scene.."
"Why not?"
"I don't like getting hurt."
"Sweetie, I'll never let you see that side of me..."
Comments
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Nice!
You definitely have set the hook and caught me. I like how the end tied into the reason DeAnna ran out of the diner. The transisiton to the dream seemed a little quick but it was nothing that would detract the reader from your story. Don't know where you are going with this or what the plot will be but you do have a nice intro. Keep Going and have fun with it!
Jimmy


