~1Waking Up to You Never Felt So Real…2
Liam opened his eyes and found Ethan bending over him. He smiled and yawned widely. Ethan leant back and ran a hand through his sandy hair. “Morning, Liam.” he said cheerfully. Liam sat up slowly and rubbed his own hair, which was dark and silky black. As he stretched, he felt a new bruise on his face. Ethan gave him a concerned look. “Bad last night?”3
Liam shrugged. “I don’t really remember. I think I downed a lot of vodka. Which would account for the headache.”4
Ethan leant sideways a little and moved to put an arm around Liam’s shoulders. Liam hesitated and then turned his head into the other man’s chest, seeking the comfort it gave him, just to have someone’s arms around him, stroking his hair gently. It wouldn’t last, but for now, it was something.5
After a bit, Ethan shifted away. Liam longed to cling tight and never let go, but he forced himself to sit up straight.6
“Coffee?” said Ethan. Liam nodded automatically and Ethan got up from the couch and walked through into the kitchen, leaving the door open behind him. Liam listened as he set about making coffee, hoping his dad wouldn’t wake up.7
Before long, Ethan reappeared, carrying two mugs of coffee, one of which he put in Liam’s hand. Then he sat back down next to Liam and put an arm around his shoulders again. Liam breathed in slowly, savouring the smell of the hot drink and also the smell of Ethan. It didn’t matter that he smelled of smoke and alcohol, because it was Ethan. The most important person in Liam’s life because he was the only one who could make him feel good. 8
They didn’t speak for quite a while. Liam finished the coffee and laid his head back on Ethan’s shoulder. Ethan set aside his cup and turned, cupping Liam’s cheek in his large hands to examine the bruise. “What started it?” he asked. Liam shrugged. “Like I said, I can’t remember.” he mumbled, avoiding Ethan’s eyes. Ethan frowned. “Tell me.”9
“I can’t remember. Drop it.” said Liam, perhaps more sharply than he’d meant to. Ethan fell silent, also frowning a bit, and Liam instantly felt a sharp stab of guilt. But he couldn’t tell Ethan exactly what had started it, though Ethan probably guessed. Ethan was the reason Liam’s dad had started last night.10
“It was me, wasn’t it?” asked Ethan into the silence.11
“No!” said Liam hastily. “It was… uhh…”12
“Me.” finished Ethan, shrugging. Liam looked away, his cheeks flushing. Ever since his dad had found out about him and Ethan, they had been the main cause of most arguments. And every time it happened, it just made everything worse.13
“Dammit Liam, why can’t you keep out of rows with your dad about me?” snapped Ethan. Liam’s frown deepened. “Well, I don’t actually TRY to get in them!” he muttered angrily.14
“Well how do they start then?!” snarled Ethan, jerking his arm from around Liam’s shoulders and getting to his feet. A grunt came from the next room and Liam tensed. “Keep it down.” he hissed. Ethan’s eyes glittered vindictively. Liam swallowed. He knew exactly what Ethan was going to do now. “See you later, Liam.” he said, picking up his jacket from a chair and walking out of the room. A couple of seconds later, the front door banged loud enough to wake the dead, which Liam’s father, regrettably, was not.15
The door to the living room crashed open and his dad appeared, already shouting. Liam jumped and hastily got to his feet, backing away. By the time his dad was finished with him, his nose was bleeding and his head spinning where he’d hit it on the wall. “Thanks Ethan.” he muttered, picking himself up off the floor and limping back over to the couch. He flopped down on the cushions and wiped some of the blood from his face gingerly. He closed his eyes against the world, which was still slightly hazy, and without meaning to, dozed off again.16
By the time he opened his eyes, it was dark out. But the room was lit by soft lamplight and Liam could smell smoke again. He was lying facing the back of the couch, so he couldn’t see the room, but he knew that Ethan was there, more by instinct than anything else. He listened carefully, trying to deduce from Ethan’s movements if it was safe to let him know he was awake or not. After a couple of moments of waiting, he rolled over, eyes almost fully shut, and sneaked a peek at Ethan.17
Ethan was sitting on a sideboard smoking, a glass in his hand, full of clear liquid. He appeared to be flicking through a magazine or something, but Liam couldn’t see properly. He was quite content just to lie there and look at Ethan, admiring the smooth curve of his jaw, the flick of his tawny hair, and his delicately tanned skin. There was no face in the world Liam loved to look at more. Ethan’s green eyes moved once more over the page and then he looked up. He smiled when he saw Liam’s eyes open. “Hey Liam. How are you feeling?”18
Liam shifted his position and moved his head experimentally. There was a dull throb at the back of his skull but he’d felt a lot worse before. “Good.” he said, grinning. 19
Ethan hopped off the counter and came over, sitting down near Liam’s feet. “Sleep well?”20
Liam nodded, and brushed his fringe back, unwittingly exposing the cut on his forehead. “Let me see.” said Ethan. Liam shook his head and flattened out his hair quickly but it was too late. Ethan leant over and pushed his hair out of the way again, examining the cut. Liam winced and kept still. Ethan got up, picked up a cloth from the sideboard, soaked it in cold water and then came back to the couch. He pushed Liam’s hair off his forehead, and carefully cleaned the cut, then got ice out of the freezer. Liam flinched as he pressed it on, but kept as still as he could. Ethan sighed and sat back, still holding the ice in place. Liam closed his eyes and took a long, slow breath, trying to relax himself and cut out what his dad had said about him, all those strong, biting words.21
Ethan seemed to know what he was thinking. Without a word, he put the ice aside and pulled Liam into a hug. “You’ll always be worth a lot to me.” he murmured. Liam bit down hard on his lip, trying to keep his face strong. “Why does he hate me?” he asked. Ethan didn’t answer, he just hugged Liam closer. Liam bit harder on his lip, but the tears were beginning to spill despite his best efforts. He hid his head in Ethan’s shirt, feeling them hot on his cheeks. Ethan stroked his hair soothingly.22
A door banged, making both of them jump. Liam looked up at the doorway. His dad was standing there, glaring at them both. But he didn’t do anything, just stormed through into his bedroom. Liam relaxed back against Ethan. He knew he’d pay as soon as Ethan went home, but right now, all that mattered was Ethan.23
“Liam, let go.”24
“No, I need you.”25
“Let go of me.”26
Liam looked up. Ethan’s face had grown cold again, the way it often did. He felt his heart tearing. “Ethan, please…” His voice was shaking. Ethan gave him a disgusted look. “Can’t you just cope? What’s the big deal if your dad hates you? It’s not like you care. And why shouldn't he hate you? What’s to care about?”27
Liam’s breath caught. He didn’t reply. Even though he was sitting there, still wrapped in Ethan’s arms, he felt like he was falling down, unable to grab anything to pull him back. Ethan’s lips were twisted into a sneer as he pulled away and got to his feet. “I’ll see you tomorrow Liam, if I can be bothered to come round.”28
Liam turned away as sharply as he could, unable to look at Ethan for a second more without breaking apart. He buried his face in a cushion and pulled his blanket right up over him as he heard the front door close. He shut his eyes in despair, hiding his face in the musty velvet of the couch and letting oblivion wash over him.29
When he woke, he was alone. He lay in the dark, longing for Ethan’s touch and the sound of his voice. A sense of unreality overcame him as he sat up. It never felt right to wake up when Ethan wasn’t there. It was like going into a nightmare, but the only way to wake up was to sleep again, which wasn’t possible without Ethan. He could feel his heart thudding as he took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He knew he had to stop this. He loved Ethan but it was tearing him into pieces. Whenever Ethan hurt him, it broke him up in a different way, and whenever Ethan healed him, he was put together in new pattern. Somehow he wasn’t sure who he was any more, or what he was. All he knew was Ethan and how Ethan was. He ached for him, even now. But Ethan was always going to be the one thing he had never had and could never have. Liam lay back down and shut his eyes as tight as he could against the overwhelming blackness of night and despair.
)
I would actually be very glad of a good, critical review ^^ don't make me cry though xD I'm going to try and get this published, so suggestions are really welcome! Thank you so much 
lol. You shouldn't be hurting so much, cause... if you would like anyone to talk to, feel free to ask me (and yah, sounds dumb coming from a total stranger but...) I really hope you feel better soon 
.
Gold trophy winner
Honorable mention
Silver trophy winner
Adding your comment:
Aww, thank you SO much 
Ethan is a cruel little 
(excuse my French). Liam has so much shizz in his life, it's not even fair. It's obvious how much he loves Ethan and adores his dad, but they both disappoint him in so many ways... Wonderful write--worthy of a finalist spot, I believe 
Renaissance 
so yeah xD.
thank you 
though I'm not sure. Sorry it's confusing 
-Lissy
abuse makes me sick, but we can't just ignore it. Anyway, thank you so much 
