Stop A Bullet - Chapter Nine

Stop A Bullet1

Chapter Nine2

“My mum,” I paused, my eyes fixated on Mrs.Collinson's smile. 3

I felt sick to the pit of my stomach having to lie like that to Mrs.Collison. After all my mother was usually doing so well and Mrs. Collinson was almost like a second mother to me, in the way she had looked after me like I was her own son. 4

I guess that she was one of those people who was born with a maternal instinct: Unlike my mother, who when it came down to it hardly had one at all. She had to have needed one working in a place like this.5

“Oh my mum, she is doing very well,” I lied, gritting my teeth.6

I had no choice. Or did I? I could always confine with her, couldn't I? She had dealt with this kind of situation before and she was not the kind to be judgmental. Though somehow I did not think that Ashley would appreciate me confining this kind of information with his mother.7

I could only imagine the mothers who had no idea whatsoever about parenting and how having a woman like Mrs. Collison there to support them must have been like some kind of miracle: she was sure a miracle to me, but then again so was Ashley.8

“Well that's a blessing then,” Mrs.Collinson grinned her eyes wandering over to Ashley who had not moved since she walked into his room.9

“Anyway, I just came up here to ask if you boys would like to join me in the kitchen for an early breakfast? I'm feeling a bit peck-ish and since I heard you two boys talking I just wondered if you would be hungry?”10

Food, oh wondrous, brilliant, succulent food. How I craved it so in the early morning hours. It had been a long time since I had eaten and even when I had it had only been one sausage and a handful of mixed, half cooked, frozen veggies. It sure was not as appetizing as Mrs. Collinson's cooking, but I had not complained.11

“Sounds like a go...” I stated, being interrupted sharply by Ashley's elbow colliding with my hip.12

“He means to say it sounds like a good idea, but we have already eaten,” Ashley lied, talking so fast he sounded almost like one of those foreign telemarketers. 13

I could hear my stomach grumbling, aching with the urgency to feast on something appealing, something tasteful and something filling. What the hell was he thinking? Or more to the point why was he acting like such a mouse?14

“No,” I paused turning to face him. “I really meant to say that would be a great idea, thank you Mrs Collinson.”15

Ashley glared, his eyes glistening murder. It made me smile and it had Mrs. Collinson in a stitch as she raised her eyebrows and walked over to where Ashley was sitting, placing her hand on his forehead.16

“You feeling alright today?” she asked, unable to contain herself from chuckling at Ashley's expression.17

Ashley nodded, folding his hands across his chest and leaned back into the sofa, trying to dodge his mothers looks.18

“Yeah, of course I am. Why do you ask?”19

“Because you are turning down “mamma's Big breakfast for one” Mrs Collison said pinching Ashleys cheeks. “And you are acting like you have ants in your pants, this would not have anything to do with your father now would it?” she asked curiously.20

Mr. Collinson was a respected man, a business man and a good father. He went to church, as did his family and was always there to support them when he needed them. Unlike Trey Mr. Collinson would not slit anyones throat if they tried to harm his wife, but would do the responsible thing and report it; despite his family's confrontation towards justice. That and he would never lay a finger on Ashley in any sexual context. 21

For an old, Italian, traditional man Mr. Collinson had top marks from me, but Mr Collinson was a homophobic, narrow minded, bigot. Who had somehow for some reason got it into his mind that I was gay: not only gay, but in love with Ashley and that I had somehow brainwashed him into acting and dressing the way he does. Regardless of the fact that I looked nothing like the next gay icon for Australia. 22

I could see what was coming next a mile away and I suddenly realized why Ashley was acting the way he was, towards me and his mother. He was frightened of his father, not only that he was frightened of his fathers reaction to me being there so early in the morning: Surely it would have crossed Mr. Collinson's mind that something was up and he had sent Mrs. Collinson to cuss it out.23

Ashley shook his head, brushing his mothers hand from his cheeks in embarrassment.24

“No, I'm Just not hungry,” he lied, this time fixating his attention on the open window. “I ate before Taint got here.”25

Mrs. Collinson frowned, rejected my her sons affection and his love for “Mamma's Big Breakfast. Her smile disappeared as she stepped away from Ashley and focused her attention on me once again.26

“Well you might not be appreciative of my offer, but it seems to me that Taint is keen. We might have to leave you up here then. It will give your father and I a good chance to talk about your schooling with Taint” she state, in a matter-of-fact tone that caused Ashley to face her once again: His eyes wide with fear.27

“Alright,” Ashley barked. “Alright, I will come join you for breakfast.”28

I smiled, my stomach grumbling once again in agreement with Ashley's decision.29

“Sounds like a plan,” I stated, leaning into Ashley. My hands rested on my side as I attempted to rid myself of the short pain that was shooting through my body.30

I could almost taste the fatty, juices of Bacon dribbling down my lips and chin. The warmth of the butter melting on my tongue as I took a bite of crispy, fresh, bread and the herbs and spices of Mrs. Collinson's famous, spinach, omelette's. 31

“Good, great, excellent,” Mrs Collinson smiled, her frown disappearing behind her tangled, chestnut, locks: A beauty that Ashley had taken from her genes. 32

“I will let you Two boys finish up your chatting then, and I will come and get you when it is ready, alright?”33

We both nodded in unison to Mrs. Collinson's proposal. Watching as she walked over to the window, drawing the curtain to block the sunlight from coming into the room. It was something my mother did also, it must have been of those motherly things I could not understand and did not waste my time trying to.34

“Alright, I will be downstairs if you need me for anything,” Mrs Collinson assured as she walked out Ashley's door, closing it softly behind her.35

Ashley waited until he was sure that his mother was downstairs before he grabbed hold of my arm and swung me towards him, holding me closer towards him. His lip curled angrily.36

“What do you think you are playing at Taint?” he asked nervously, his eyes darting as if he was searching for the answer in my eyes.37

I looked at him, taken back by his advancement; confused by his question. His breathing heavy, as I came almost lip to lip with him. The tension so thick and constraining that I found it hard to breath in his impulsive grasp.38

“I don't know what you're talking about,” I whispered feeling the warmth of his cheeks against mine.39

“You do bloody so,” Ashley said drawing back from me. His eyes still flickering and darting as he looked into mine, shaking me back and forth uncontrollably.40

“What are you doing?” I laughed nervously attempting to shake him of. He was beginning to scare me, but at the same time it was amusing to see Ashley so worked up about something that was so obvious.41

“Trying to wake you up, you seem to be in a dream state. You do realize you just said yes to sharing your breakfast with my dad, don't you?”42

I shook his arms of seizing his wrist stopping him before he lost control of his mind.43

“I might have been scared of your father once and by all means I can tell you I still am, but really do you think I would be afraid of the likings of your father after today? Really?”44

Ashley disappeared inside his head, pondering my question as I loosened my grip on his wrist and allowed them to fall between us: dangerously close to my crotch.45

“NO,” I answered before had a chance to even answer. “ No, he doesn't frighten me and bedsides I am starving for some real food. Are you going to deny your best friend your mothers home cooked breakfast for starvation?” I chuckled watching as Ashley came to his senses.46

Ashley shook his head, his eyes wandering to where mine were rested between my lap.47

“No,” he whispered his voice loitering as he moved back away from me: his eyes closed as if he was trying to extinguish a feeling. One that was beginning to become more apparent as every moment passed between us.48

“Ashley,” I spoke, my fingers moving towards his, my thoughts incoherent. 49

“Don't Taint,” he whined pushing me away. “Not now, mum will be back soon and I don't want her to think...” he paused, not wanting to finish his sentence, looking to change the topic to something more joyful.50

“So where were we before my mother cut in?” he asked opening his eyes.51

“Don't want her to think what?” I asked knowing very well what this next words were going to be.52

Ashley sighed rising to his feet once again.53

“You know exactly what Taint, don't play games.”54

“Playing games? me play games?” I snorted unable to contain the sarcasm as it dripped from my every word. “Well sorry, but I seem to be the only one in this room right now doing everything but playing games.”55

Ashley swirled around, his arms raised high in the air before he tucked them behind his head. Frustration pouring from his body language.56

“So you think I am playing games with you now?” he bit angrily, his eyes no longer showing me any sympathy.57

“No I don't think you are playing games,” I answered rising to my feet my body in line with his.58

“I just want to know why you find it so hard to just say it.”59

Ashley snorted taking Two steps away from me, until his back was pressed against the wall. His eyes watering with embarrassment.60

I had no intentions of taking the bait, but I could not help myself. I had triggered something in him, I had bared my soul to him; confessed everything and now I thought it was time I knew a few home grown truths about my best friend. What had he got to loose.61

I took Two steps forward, till our bodies were once again in unison; my chest pressed against Ashley's as he attempted to press his body further against the wall.62

“Find it so hard to say what,” he demanded strongly, trying to stand his ground. He was only making it worse for himself and I could feel his body sinking as I moved myself closer towards his body. My hands finding his wrist, holding them tightly as I pinned him against the wall.63

“Why do you find it so hard to just admit that your gay?” I hushed, my cheeks brushing against his. My body and mind once against becoming incoherent as his sweet, musky, scent filled my nostrils: Melting me completely against his body.64

“Taint... you're scaring me,” Ashley pleaded his fingers wrapping around my arm.65

“Just admit it Ashley and I will let you go, please, for me?”66

Ashley shook his head, tears rolling down his cheeks as I pressed my chapped lips against his firm, moist, soft, sweetness; locking us both in a kiss that had been long anticipated.67

I closed my eyes lost in the moment, my fingers loosening as Ashley gripped my wrist.68

“I can't,” he breathed, parting my legs with his knee.69

I could feel lips tongue pushing against my lips, demanding, beckoning me further into temptation, but as much as I wanted it; the moment had gone. The need, the urgency, the impulsive hunger that had surged through my body like a rocket ready for lift of was simmering into nothing.70

I pulled away, unsure of exactly what I was doing and what had driven me to do it in the first place. I was not gay, I was broken.71

“I need to go,” I hushed feeling his knee rubbing between my thighs. It was pure heaven, a feeling I had never felt before, but this was not the time, nor the place and this certainly was not me. 72

I had, had a moment of relapse. I was confuse and neither did I.73

“What? Why? You just got here, What about breakfast?”74

“Tell you mum I'm sorry, but I had to go home.”75

Ashley shook his head, his palms finding my shoulders. Soothingly he began to caress them, edging his fingers towards the nape of my neck. His lips pressed against my bare skin. It was so inviting. I savored every second of this curious, but confusing statement of affection.76

“But Taint... this feels so right,” Ashley pleaded his hand wandering towards my crouch.77

I needed his touch, I wanted to feel what it felt like to be made love to by someone who really cared about me. Hell everyone else around me was no damn, virgin, but I still was. Why did I feel like this? Why did I want him so badly when I knew I could never be like him? I knew the answer and I could not do this to him. 78

“I can't” I whispered pulling back. “I have to go okay? this is just too confusing.”79

“Confusing?” Ashley asked bewildered by my response. His fingers edging towards my pants once again.80

What had I done? Ashley was aching for me. How long had he felt like this? How long had he been waiting for this moment? And here I was about to tare his dreams right from his fingertips, just like an animal. I assumed to much and acted to quickly with no time to even comprehend what was going on inside my head.81

“My sister was raped tonight, my mother too and Trey almost drained her of any self respect she still had keeping her strong and here I am ready to loose my virginity to my best friend who I love, but most definitely not in the way he wants me to and you expect me not to be confused.”82

Ashley was silent. His lips curling, trembling as he stepped away raising his hands behind his head once again. The tears tricking from his Emerald, gems. His eyelashes flickering: drenched in his salty desperation.83

“I am fucked up Ashley, I am so fucked up and I am damn near falling apart and you are asking me what is so confusing about this?”84

The room was silent. 85

Outside I could hear the traffic of the busy cars on their way to work. My mind wandering to Trey. He would be having his morning shower by now, getting ready to leave. I was pretty sure that it would be safe to go home now. After all there was no way that Trey would miss work, not now that my mother had quit her job.86

I looked at Ashley, wasting my minutes in silence when I could be making my way home. Not quiet ready to face my mother, but ready to push aside the feelings that I was feeling and acting out. I was sure Ashley had, had enough of my bullshit for one day.87

“I need to go,” I said breaking the dead, awful, silence.88

I turned around looking towards the door. My heart crashing against my chest, my own mercury tears burning like lava as the trickled down my cheeks, slipping salty between my lips.89

Turn and walk Taint... turn and walk... turn and walk away Taint... just walk away.90

“TAINT,” Ashley cried reaching for my shoulder.91

I spun around, my shoulder crashing into his, but not paying much attention as I stared into his sullen eyes: awaiting his response.92

“I'm not gay,” he said softly, wiping his eyes as he let go of my shoulder.93

“You could of fooled me,” I responded hearing the sound footsteps stepping towards the door.94

“I'm not Gay taint, I'm Bisexual, and I think..”95

We both heard a knock at the door, though the door did not open. Instead we could hear the sound of Mrs. Collinsons voice drifting loudly through the key hole96

“Breakfast is ready,”Mrs. Collinson called in a sing-song, cheery voice that had me smiling as I looked straight into Ashley's eyes, anxiously awaiting his confession.97

“Well?” I hissed, under my breath, trying to hurry his confessional while at the same time wanting it to linger, to last to enjoy this moment. For I had never felt so needy in all my life.98

Ashley inhaled deeply reaching for my hand, holding against his chest: I could fee the thumping of his heart against my fingertips. It was electrifying. 99

“I think...” he paused, closing his eyes. 100

A minute of silence filling the air as I blocked every thought from my mind and focused my attention on nothing else but him.101

“I think...”102

“Yes, you think?” I joked, urgently needing to lighten the tension. My blood pursing through my veins; I was on fire.103

“I think I might be in love with you.”104