They walked close fearing what could be beyond the door in the dark corridor. As the woman who declared herself leader opened the door I heard someone let out a scream. I think it was a scream of pure excitement what could be beyond that door. And then, they saw it. It was enormous, huge, larger than life! As I looked closer peering over the heads of the people in front of me I saw that the thing was covered with an old woolen blanket. The leader peeked inside and then, it happened. The leader turned pale a sheet, white as ghost! But what scared us more was the low hum getting louder and louder in the room. And then a thud! Boom! I could see a red light and people started screaming! Then, nothing. Blackness. Clearly I had passed out. I guess I would never see what had happened in the house at twenty-fourth street.
Author notes
This isn't my best writing and I did this for the fun of it. Its just a little quick writing done for fun. Also this is my first thing that I have written for a contest. I hope everyone likes it!
A contest entry
- Pimp My Paragraph by Valkyrie.
335 points, ended August 27, 2008, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think and if I should write a second chapter and so on!
Comments
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This is a great entry! Exactly the sort of submission I'm looking for. Thanks so much for entering my first contest, and good luck.
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