Falling star

friday morning, Stoned. Looks up see the stars so many aways shining, til the end of time. How many others will see them and think the same thing. Time pases people come go. hippes Beats and Bohemians 4:20 on the beach ,smoke a bowl. Nicly stoned...ware did I camp? Watching time pass in the stars. Thinks of her what did he notice about her? It was her smile.1

friday night: See's a falling star. Thinks of the time and space it traveled through. ,mind lost in sinking space going down sinking so low. Comes back, See's his falling star. see's her smile again. Talk till late hours laugh play talk and contamplate life for fun...Falling?2

Sunday early: Finds her with out thinking about it, Talk and laugh hours pass people come people go ,to bum a smoke or have a chat . Times comeing to a end says good bye gets hugs look into her eyes I fall into them they see my soul...last good bye...Going home, already missing her.why..feeling somthing more?3

The after time:Walking see's stars hears nothing of the city. Thinks of his falling star. Thinks of the infintit amount of reasons to have kept them away. But they met all the same..time passes missing her her more...Gong home soon, seeing her there....knows whatever life gave him led him to her, leading him to a meeting with a faling star, he fell as well. Smiles, whole again, somthing inside not there before...

Author notes

i wrote this very stoned about a girl i met at a hippie fest.The sinking I talk about and comming back was me on Acid also known as LSD.

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • ToxicXxXTomatoes
    November 15
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    It was deffffintely randomly random.
    Wow.
    Good ... job?

  • Rovingone
    September 11
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    Totally free wheeling, Franklin. You got a lot of miscellanious ideas threading through each other like a weave. I like the words and the pictures they create. I'd slow down a bit and do more detail and include some description of the characters. Over all a good write.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    September 7

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    Hah, I'm not sure you meant this to be humorous, but it made me laugh. I think it is the combination of the poetic images you used, which were very beautiful and deep, and the fact that you wrote it while stoned. It's a second layer to the writing, and while it does add something very specific to the overall effect, it also makes it a little harder to follow. I did enjoy its imagery though. Thanks for entering it, and good luck.


  • sandypr.
    August 31

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    This is a bit confusing. Actually, it's really confusing. Alot of spelling errors and I don't understand what's going on in the story. Sorry.


  • The Wall
    August 26

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    Wow I really found this quite beautiful. I really don't know whhat to say about this, but if I could give you a standing ovation over the internet I would. You may want to consider editing it though?


  • Midnight-In-Prayer
    August 12

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    This made.....pretty much no sense to me at all. It was just a jumble of words that meant nothing at all to me. I wasn't bothered by the fact that you wrote it about being stoned, but at least edit it and make it understandable to the sober human population.

    To tell you the truth, I didn't even read the whole thing. I was so bored after reading just a little bit that I decided it wouldn't be worth it to continue.

    But thanks for entering my contest anyway.

    • TheRedPen
      August 12
      Edit | Reply
      Its called a diffrent style..more thought must be used but alas such simple ideas are hard for the masses.

  • TheRedPen
    August 12
    Edit | Reply
    Hello Moto

1 - 8 of 8