You Do Love Me...

I'm lying in your bed, and it's about...Ooh...Four in the morning. I sigh tiredly as I listen to you sing in the shower down the hall. I feel dirty, and I know you'll most likely be pissed off at me for not taking a shower...Because I will be complaining about it. I don't care. You'll have to deal with it. I twist my hair in my fingers, and think about what was just happening ten minutes ago. You kept telling me you love me, but somewhere in the back of my mind... I feel quite guilty, for starting to doubt the truth behind it. Should I be worrying this much about it? Should I be wondering, if I'm just another meaningless fuck toy to you? If what you were saying is true,...Then why hadn't you told me that you loved me before tonight? Or...This morning. Tears gather in my eyes, as I roll over to look out of the window. I wipe them away and glance at the floor where we had dropped our clothes so carelessly, and spot a safety pin lying not too far from my reach. I pick it up and play with it for a while, until a pathetic idea pops into my mind, when I finally unlatch it from it's confinings. I take a deep breath and dig the sharp point into the skin of my forearm and begin to drag it, so it will spell out the letters of your name...I think it's time for me to test your love for me. Because I...I love you. Tears gather in my eyes once more as I bleed freely. I hear the shower quit and I try to get myself back together. Un-successful. You whistle humbly as you walk into the room with just a towel on; your face drops the smile as you see the crimson mess, spilling from my arm and onto my stomach. "What the hell happened?", you ask concernedly, and rush to my side. I say nothing, only hold out my arm, while tears still run from my eyes. You take the towel from your waist and rub it gently on my arm,...And wiping away the mess, you see the letters of your name, slowly appear again. I'm glad to see that your eyes immediately fill with tears. "Tell me...It was true...Tell me what you were saying is true....Please...Tell me you love me, like you were swearing you did, 20 minutes ago". Your eyes; They show so much pain, and I know the truth before you even answer. "I do...I really do love you" You whisper, staring directly into my eyes. I wipe my tears away, and give you a weak smile before I get up to put on my clothes. I hastily gather my things, and jump out of your window. I smile to myself as I begin the walk home, cradling my injured arm as I go. I know it's wrong, but I'm the happiest I've ever been...Because now I know the truth...1

I saw it in your eyes, and the truth is...2

....You really do love me.3