Buffy: The Vampire Slayer - A Spiked Coffee

This is a Buffy the Vampire Slayer short story set in early Season Six.1

***2


Buffy Summers was resting her eyes, not dozing. Couldn’t be dozing, way too much to do for dozing, but she certainly felt pretty darn tired and knew she could really have done with a few more hours of quality zzz’s. 3

Anyone, super powered Vampire Slayer or not, would have to be pretty well pooped if they’d gone through what she’d gone through recently. What with trying to run a house that kept getting trashed by demons and other assorted uglies and sorting a basement that was still under water from Mr leaky pipe. Not to mention looking out for her kid sister, Dawn, keeping her out of trouble and getting her out of the door on time for school every day.4

Oh yeah, and then there was that whole being recently dead and currently broke thing too.5

And on top of everything, her job - or calling, or whatever - of big bad busting (unpaid with no vacation time, health cover or dental plan) never ever let up. There was always some new evil demon type coming to town looking to make with the maim and kill that needed some serious slaying - with yet another nasty creepo ready to follow right on its predecessor’s evil demony heels.6

New day, new bad guy. Just the same old slay old.7

It was Monday morning and Willow and Tara had already left for college. Dawn had just been given her daily lift to school from Xander, leaving Buffy now all alone in the house. That was just how she liked it these days.8

She sat quietly at the kitchen breakfast bar, an almost fresh mug of coffee in her hand, still looking and feeling exhausted and knowing she was pretty stinky from the previous night’s intense demonic smack down.9

Shower time soon…right after finishing coffee time.10

After a quick and distasteful sniff at her own expense, Buffy went to take a second drink from the mug in her hand.11

Her lips had only made it half way to the rim when her attempted sip was suddenly interrupted by the kitchen door flying loudly open bringing a rush of warm morning air in to the nicely cool house. Riding that rush of warm air was a figure covered in a dark blanket with wisps of grey acrid smoke hastily rising from it. The figure stumbled in, banged itself on the side of the kitchen counter, let out a muffled curse and then threw the door closed behind it. Now properly inside, the figure yanked away the blanket that covered the upper part of its body and threw it down hard to the kitchen floor. It was Spike.12

"BLOODY HELL!" 13

He immediately started to stomp down heavily on the discarded blanket, putting out the early signs of fire.14

"BLOODY…STUPID…SODDING…"15

Buffy didn’t so much as flinch at this loud and sudden intrusion in to her kitchen and in to her morning. She just put her mug down slowly and, with a weary look of detachment on her face, watched Spike do his thing.16

Finished now with his furious stomping, Spike turned his attention to Buffy. He had a wild and flustered look about him after his fierce battle with the smoky blanket. His usual slicked back white blonde hair was slightly tousled from its hectic covered journey. Suddenly realising how he must look, Spike quickly raised his hands to his head and, in one fast, easy motion, smoothed his hair back down flat. His hands then dropped back to his sides as he let out a small nervous cough that instantly morphed in to him clearing his throat. His eyes had now calmed some, his posture had started to relax, but he waited for a few more seconds, finishing clawing back his usual cool and nonchalant composure, before he finally spoke.17

"Slayer!"18

"Hello Spike." Buffy replied evenly19

"So, I was just…"20

Spike thought hard for a moment about what to say next.21

"I was out for a stroll. Takin’ in some air…not that I actually need the air. I was in the neighbourhood, just passin’ by…"22

Buffy glanced at the strong morning sunlight that streamed through the big kitchen window. She looked back at him coolly and disbelieving.23

"Aren’t you burny types supposed to sleep in the day? So you don’t go all, you know…burny…"24

Noticing fresh smoke now starting to rise from the floor, she looked down to Spike’s discarded blanket and frowned.25

"…In my kitchen."26

"Yeah, well, I don’t keep with the usual vamp plan anymore, pet." Spike replied sourly "Your old boyfriend and his soldier boy mates saw to that."27

He tapped his head a couple of times signalling the implanted chip in his brain that now kept him from hurting humans28

"So, taking a morning constitutional is part of the new unimproved Spike routine. Besides, this town has a great sewer system for movin around in. Cleaner and less smelly than most. You people here in the Dale must eat better than most Yanks, plenty of fibre or something. The blood’s always been pretty good too come to think of it"29

Buffy hadn’t been listening to a word Spike had said. Instead she began pointing vigorously at the blanket on the floor that had started to burn again.30

"MY KITCHEN!" she yelled accusingly at the freshly smouldering cloth.31

With a new look of confusion on his sharp pale features, Spike followed the line of Buffy’s pointing finger down to its target.32

"BOLLOCKS!"33

Spike moved swiftly and began again to vigorously and repeatedly stomp on his floored blanket until eventually it stopped its re-ignited burn, this time for good.34

Well and truly annoyed now, Buffy aimed a scornful look at the intruding blood sucker.35

"Spike, I’m so not in the mood for this right now," she warned him. "It’s been a really busy morning what with late night slayage, then getting Dawn: the bathroom hogger off to school in time - not to mention Willow and Tara always making with the smooches at every chance."36

She roughly grabbed her previously abandoned mug of coffee from the counter in front of her.37

"Is it really too much to ask to just be sat down quiet for a bit, and finish my morning coffee with out any interruptions?"38

She lifted the mug to her lips and took an angry gulp. Almost instantly she wished she hadn’t.39

"Blechhh…My now COLD AND YUCKY MORNING COFFEE!"40

Buffy slammed the mug down hard. The liquid sloshed over the sides from the impact causing a cold coffee ring around the base of the mug. She then quickly and harshly pushed the offending mug away from her as if it were now a mortal enemy.41

"Look…" she began with a heavy sigh. "I’ve gotta go and meet Giles at the Magic Box to debrief after last night. I also have to go do some proper shopping so Dawn can actually eat something other than chocolatey cereals and Doublemeat dinners."42

She paused for a moment as she thought more about her day to come.43

"Then I thought I just might try - as an encore - finding someway to bring some real money in, so little sis and I don’t have to start living in trash sacks and grazing like Llamas on that patchy brown grass in the backyard."44

Buffy closed her eyes and took in a deep breath…and regretted it. Her eyes snapped back open in disgust.45

"Ungh…AND I also stink like a demons jock strap!"46

She gave a short shrug47

"Still, could be worse, could be dead. Yay for me!"48

Buffy now fixed a hard stare on the vampire in front of her.49

"So, spit it out, Spike. What do you want?"50

Spike just looked back blankly at her for a moment or two. Then, his stoic face broke out in to a wicked smile, ivory teeth flashing evilly in the morning light.51

"So, Anne and Ellen doing the lovey dovey bit goes and rubs the Slayer the wrong way does it? " He asked rhetorically, but with obvious relish52

"Didn’t take you for a prude, Buff. And, have to say, I wouldn’t mind seeing a bit of that witch on witch action meself…"53

"SPIKE!" Buffy yelled, briefly interrupted his little Wiccan fantasy.54

"…especially if a spicy vamp sandwich filling is ever on the menu," he managed to finish with an even wickeder smile now twisting his lips.55

In a sudden blur of movement, Buffy leapt from her seat to the kitchen floor. She stood taught and glaring, daring him to say more. A red-hot fire in her eyes threatened to fly forth and roast him where he stood.56

"Spike, these words coming out of your mouth? They so need to stop right now, or you’ll be heading right back outside - sans security blanky!"57

Spike, still smiling, just raised his hands in mock surprise.58

"Hey Buffy, I may be dead, but I’m still a bloke! I’m just sayin’ is all."59

"Well, don’t be just saying…not about Willow and Tara…and you. ESPECIALLY with you! Not like that."60

Her face was now reddened in a mixture of embarrassment and anger.61

"That is SUCH a bad image you’ve made in my head. I should stake you right now just for doing that."62

Buffy’s eyes then widened in shock as she remembered what Spike had accused her of.63

"And…HEY!!… I’m SO not a prude! No pruding going on here. Ever!"64

Then, gradually, something else started to come over her.65

She began to fall back from her previous aggressive poise in to something more uncomfortable and defensive. She lowered her eyes from Spike’s to a spot just in front of his feet.66

"I love them both and am happy that they’re happy," she then said in a much smaller voice.67

"I just wish that …they could sometimes… make a little less with the happy in front of Dawn…" pause "…and me."68

Disappointed by her own thoughts and words, Buffy slumped backwards to lean against the breakfast bar and lowered her head sadly.69

"I’m a horrible friend," she whimpered to the floor.70

"It’s just so hard sometimes. Seeing what they have. It reminds me what I don’t have anymore. What I feel…no, wrong word...what I believe I’ll never be able to have anymore."71

A short period of introverted silence and of Summers self-pity followed with Buffy just staring mournfully downwards lost now in her innermost thoughts. No words or sounds came from either the Vampire or the Slayer. All was quiet in the kitchen.72

Then, after half a minute or so of the self-indulgent silence, Buffy finally shook of her slump and came out of herself. Finding her head again, she pulled herself up straight and glared a fresh at Spike who hadn’t moved an inch, but just continued to study her intently from his spot near the door.73

"And why am I telling YOU all this?"74

"Sounds like you need to tell somebody this stuff. Better a dead man than no man," the vampire answered in a low voice, his words tinged with a genuine concern.75

"No, no more telling. Telling has finished. Mr Telling has left the building. Just like you should."76

Buffy took one angry step towards Spike, tensing all of her muscles, ready for anything.77

"Say what you came here to say then go away. And quickly, before I go find Mr Pointy."78

Spike just shrugged, completely unfazed by her new, aggressive move towards him.79

"Have it your way, pet. But you won’t be able to hold all this stuff in forever and Doctor Spike always has a nice comfy couch in his crypt waitin’ just for you."80

"SPILL!" Buffy demanded "And I’m NOT your pet."81

"Okay love, Like I was sayin’ before your little mini breakdown - out for a stroll, down in the sewer…"82

Buffy went to protest, but Spike continued in a slightly raised voice, before she could get the chance.83

"I saw what looked to be a big evil beastie, seemed to be headed in the general direction of Summers Manor. Thought I’d just swing by first and give you the heads up."84

As he talked, Spike retrieved a small mug from the counter next to him and began to turn it over in his hands inspecting the picture on it of a cute looking grey tabby kitten. His stomach growled and he remembered he’d left his crypt in such a hurry that morning that he’d completely forgotten breakfast.85

Nevermind, pet store is on the sewer route home. Time enough later for a quick snack stop.86

He smilled to himself while still admiring the kitty and continued his tale.87

"Looked like a thoral demon. Real nasty one, too. Lots of fangs. Has a big taste for little girls. Didn’t want to see the little bit end up on a demon platter before she could get to school."88

Buffy glowered at Spike. She stood with both her hands now parked on her hips, elbows sticking out defiantly.89

"And so you decide to waste my time. The only big evil beastie around here is you, Spike. You have to stop coming around here with these lame excuses just to see me. How can I get through to your government chip restricted brain that there is nothing between us? There never will be. End of."90

Spike looked back up sharply at Buffy. He slammed the kitten mug back down on the counter beside him making a long thin crack all the way up one side of it. He tried to feign a look of indignancy, of offence, but instead an honest anger simmered away in his undead eyes.91

"Hey, don’t flatter yourself Ms. high and mighty Slayer," he growled.92

"I suppose that’s the thanks a bloke gets, risking an all over roasting just to help you stop the niblet from being the main attraction at a demonic all you can eat."93

His fierce glare never once leaving the Slayer, Spike hastily grabbed his slightly charred and rumpled blanket back off of the floor.94

"Just don’t start playing beat the Spike on accounts of my attempt at a good deed for the day."95

"Thoral demons don’t eat human flesh, Spike," Buffy said coolly, ignoring his angry and indignant retort. "They’re carrion feasters and only eat stinky dead animals. Not people."96

She paused, tilted her head slightly to the right and looked past Spike while considering a new thought.97

"Although, Giles told me once that they do have a taste for the occasional vampire that has matured over, what was it now? Oh yeah, at least 100 yrs. What with vamps being dead and all."98

Her dangerous stare targeted him once more.99

"So, you see, the only person in any real danger of being eaten around here would be you!"100

Caught out now and not quite knowing how to recover, Spike averted his eyes from Buffy’s and shuffled uneasily on the spot.101

"Yeah, well…maybe it wasn’t a Thoral demon then," he mumbled. "It was dark in those sewers…coulda been a…"102

"A big demony rat?" Buffy offered.103

"Yeah! Maybe it was at that!" He barked back.104

In one fast, fluid and angry move, Spike threw the blanket up over his head and upper body, then grabbed at the kitchen door, yanking it back open.105

"I just came by to see how you were doing. You know? After what you told me the other week? About how your little gang of poofter rangers yanked you out of your warm and fuzzy afterlife? Thought you might like a friendly shoulder is all."106

"I’m fine, Spike. I don’t need your shoulder…or any other part of your body."107

Buffy winced inwardly at her last slightly misjudged comment.108

"Fine."109

"Fine. And goodbye," she said firmly.110

Spike moved to go out of the door and back in to the harsh bright daylight. But just before he left, he whipped around to face Buffy one last time. A bitter scowl was just visible on his face beneath the hood of the blanket.111

"I really hope that you and your self righteous bitch attitude will be very happy together," he spat.112

"Just don’t come a crawlin’ to me when the time comes, and you can’t stand to look at your so-called mates anymore without hating their guts."113

He continued glaring at this beautiful, powerful and incredibly infuriating girl that he just couldn’t dislodge from his microchip-restrained brain.114

"And ESPECIALLY when the little bit comes to think that hollowed out big sis just don’t give a toss about her anymore!"115

Buffy could see his eyes narrow darkly beneath the protective blanket.116

"Mark my words, Slayer. That time is coming. Soon."117

And with that, he swept out of the house and back in to the lethal sunlight, slamming the kitchen door violently behind him.118

Buffy released a deep breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding.119

She slowly allowed the coiled tension in her muscles to ease away. She was just relieved that this uncomfortable confrontation was now over.120

Her kitchen and her morning were now hers once again.121

Thank god.122

But deep down she knew that Spike was telling the truth about her. About how she had been feeling ever since her friends had brought her back. About how she may end up feeling about them, about the world around her - and worse – about Dawn. About how she really seriously did need help to deal before it got to be way too late.123

Buffy turned back to the breakfast bar and picked up her previously discarded but still full mug of coffee. As it left its spilled ring, the mug began to drip cold brown liquid from its base back down on to the countertop. She cursed under her breath and quickly turned towards the basin to go and pour the icky cold stuff away.124

She only made it half way there when suddenly the kitchen door flew open once again.125

Startled this time, Buffy released the mug. It fell from her loosened grasp and shattered loudly on impact. China shards and cold coffee were hurled all over the kitchen floor.126

She whipped back around to face the open doorway, tensed and ready to strike.127

It was just Spike again.128

He poked his smouldering blanket covered head back around the doorframe and looked at her calmly and enquiringly.129

"Um, patrol tonight. You need any help, I’ll be at the usual place, usual time," he said in a relaxed and matter of fact voice.130

"Nothin’ on the telly, so could do with getting me some demon arse kicking jollies."131

He looked at Buffy hopefully. She looked back coldly, not saying a single word.132

"Just sayin’ is all. You know where I’ll be if you want me."133

He grinned, gave her a playful parting wink, then disappeared again closing the door behind him, leaving Buffy alone once more.134

She heaved a big sigh that was as much of exasperation as it was relief.135

But the truth was, no matter how frustrating, annoying and just downright aggravating she found him, Spike was the only one she really could open up to. For some reason their time spent together did seem to give her something that she needed. What that something was exactly, she had no idea. So, despite her better judgement, she thought it a pretty safe bet that later that night she’d be taking him up on his offer of some demon related violence. In Spike's weird and twisted brain it would probably constitute a date. In hers, who knows? She surely didn't.136

Buffy closed her eyes and shook her head in frustration.137

"Things were so much simpler when he just wanted to kill me!"138

End139