Every night he asked to be seated in my section. He ordered the most expensive item on the menu, leaving it untouched. The enigmatic gentleman, half swathed in shadow, always eyed me with the most haunted, lonely and oddly dangerous look in his strange violet eyes as he poured his lavish bottle of rare, perfectly aged red wine into the glass, or unfolded the pristine white napkin and laid it in his lap. Eccentric? I certainly had thought so, but he was so deliciously handsome that I had this constant, irrational fear that he would soon bring in his lovely girlfriend. I suddenly wondered about his age. He seemed about my age, give or take a year or two, but his eyes had an obsolescent quality that was misleading, to say the least. 1
I sat at the bar, waiting for him, as the new waitress fixed her already flawless hair, looking critically into a compact. Being the only gay boy that worked at the restaurant guaranteed that I would make friends with every waitress in the place. It seemed like forever I would be waiting for him...and yet it seemed I was still trying to figure out what, exactly, my expectations were. Hearing the low murmur of his satin voice, my heart took off. It was hard to keep my chin off of the floor (as it always was) when I looked at him. His lily skin and plum blue eyes were like nothing I had seen, the smooth line of his jaw and perfectly straight nose that sat gracefully on his face, gave him the appearence of a Greek god and part time male model. It almost hurt not to touch him as he eloquently walked to his table, not needing to be shown. I practically stumbled to the back table, ledger in hand, almost too nervous to speak. 2
"Hello, sir, what will you be having to drink this evening?" I attempted my waiter voice but it came out slightly breathless.3
"I'll have a bottle of the very best full-bodied Bourdeaux, please," he articulated in that graceful, legato voice. He smiled a heart rendering smile as I wrote it down, although I wouldn't forget. I suddenly thought of the expression 'curiosity killed the cat.' Was I the cat? It was a silly notion, but for some reason it lingered with me as I brought the mystery that plagued me his wine.4
Author notes
Okay, so I entered this story called Vampires Do It Better for a contest, then I posted it on Bebo and I got several requests to write more, so tada! Uuummm the title is botha reference to the vampires eyes and a Panic(!) At The Disco reference. Enjoy. Please please please comment.
A contest entry
- Options that really aren't that limited... by Atticus Unanimous.
190 points, ended December 28, 2008, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
i don't amember if i commented on this before,
but you could knock Dr. Suess right off his block!!!
ahahahahahaha knock ur block off
-
So I guess the first time I read this I forgot to comment...
I loved this one to pieces! Two tiny little things though. The first is that in the last paragraph you have "... he articulated in tat..." is "tat" supposed to be "that"? And the other is that you compare this decadent creature to a Greek god and male model. There's nothing too wrong with it, but it has been used before. Many times.
Those were my only pieces of criticism (and I'd like there to be more! I want to read the rest of it if you don't mind.) so good job and good luck! -
I like it, its very descriptive and some excellent prose.
-
oooohhh... intersiting.
Is there going to be more? tell me ther is going to be more!!!
Very well written although there was at least one spelling errror near the bottom of the page, (tat/ That).
great work!
Hunter~
-
Interesting
Lol, this is very interesting and think you did a great very well written and is keeping me curiousabout whay\t will happen nexT! lol great job! XD
-
-
Thanks a bunch. Thanks for the read and the comment.
-
-
Wos
The descriptions in this were brilliant, sensual, and soooo breathtaking! I
it! Can't wait to see where you'll go with this, but it is exceptionally written! Excellent job! Keep up the fantastic writing!
Lissy
-
-
Wow, thanks for saying that. I would never thought when I wrote thyis that anyone would like it but me.
-
-
I can't believe you're fifteen! Your writing is exceptional, can't imagine what it'd be like when you're older. great job
-
-
What a lovely thing to say. Thank you so much.
-
-
Great story write more please.
-
-
Thanks for commenting.
-
-
I love it!
*dances*
This was so cool and even BETTER than the last one! All the descriptions and emotions were so good it felt like I was there. By the way, the vampire sounds so cooooool!!!!!!!!!
Continue!
I wants more 
and so does he
This was excellent!
-
-
Thank you for being so wonderfully enthusiastic!
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
