Male Speak. Female Speak.

MALE SPEAK1

FEMALE SPEAK2

by: Pixie Stephenson3

Succotash/msikwatash was very popular during the Great4

Depression... Now, used as a hodgepodge of quips for a5

Great Smile on any occasion... like now. 6

Not to be confused with "Chicken Soup for the Soul" 7

No, 100% pure literary Succotash/msikwatash 8


Book design of MALE SPEAK FEMALE SPEAK 9

by: aeps 10

Compilation of cyber succotash (msikwatash) from a Dr.11

Phil Website Savvy Member's observations of life. 12

MALE SPEAK from backside cover title to middle of book13

printed upside down. LOLz 14

FEMALE SPEAK from cover title on front side to middle15

right side up. 16

(That's an inside secret as technically works either17

way and more than one way to look at like most18

things.) 19


Men aren't the only ones who learn to say "You're20

right" and "Yes Dear" until the coast is clear. 21

This book is not 100% accurate yet 100% funny to those22

who have met the men and women between these covers...23

24


MALE SPEAK 25

Men think in CD's (Certificates of Deposit et al). 26

Women think in "see these" and those and... 27


"Are you ready?" 28

Translation: "It's almost time to go and you're not29

ready." "Now hear this" male personified alarm clock30

and helpful observation. 31

However, if man forgets to say, since women begin to32

count on hearing, "Are you ready?" Well, let's just33

say, can bend men out of shape if a woman is not ready34

and women get defensive which could equal a squabble.35

These tips to avoid squabbles for all our sakes. 36

Dr. Phil I think has said, "Get use to it." Due to37

Male/Female manufacture wiring differential "being38

wired differently". It's a two way street that women39

cannot change men and vice versa. 40


MALE SPEAK 41

"Do you need another purse?" 42

Translated: If you don't buy you'll have money to put43

in the purse you already have. That's why I've used44

the same billfold for over 5 years.45


MALE SPEAK 46

"Matching shoes, too? Is less still more?" 47

Translated: If you don't buy matching shoes you'll48

have money to put into new purse you just bought. 49


MALE SPEAK 50

"Yes" 51

Translated: Often means I really don't want to yet I52

don't want to be nagged or fight. Listen to intuition53

that you cannot believe he said yes. Actually, a54

unisex phenomenon both male and female should make55

note of. 56

Likely, will regret his going or doing when he57

transforms into a two year old wanting to go home58

right after getting there especially if he has other59

plans. Persons involved with sports fans refer to TV60

guide schedule to plan or change plans accordingly. It61

is what it is. 62

If he sees you sporting new shoes and purse he'll just63

think you just want him there for his money or arm64

candy. Don't take personally and just fear based since65

money doesn't grow on trees and often men see this66

before women do. Unless man serving in Congress or67

some other governmental position with hands on68

taxpayers economic purse strings. 69

Men have non-essential "have to have's" too yet that's70

different. "Get use to it." However, over one-third of71

USA in serious credit card debt, including our72

government, from money mismanagement and the leading73

cause of divorce "and" government off course. 74


MALE SPEAK 75

"Sure... Let's talk about it." 76

Dream on... Notice male expression that rarely matches77

that statement. Notice that "When?" or "How about78

right now." Is not mentioned. Men retreating to cave79

until coast clear is actually sometimes the best80

thing. Allows for a cooling off period so things not81

said later regretted from forcing the issue. 82

83


FEMALE SPEAK 84

Women bundle things since a woman's work is never85

done. 86

Men make bundles of laundry.
Instead of helping wash men prefer fun.
Ohhhh... Men just want to have fun.
Yes, men just want to have fun.87


FEMALE SPEAK 88

"Honey, can we stop by the mall a minute." 89

Translated: The minute is the time it takes to get out90

of car to mall door. Men do not confuse this time with91

time spent "at" mall that often gets lost in92

translation by men. Return the favor and deal with it,93

please. That sale might be saving you $$$'s on those94

Boxers or BVD's etc. How magnanimous is that since95

likely she'll be washing, too... Unless you want to96

wear undies with racing stripes, or have some97

unexpected Cheer added to your life being thrown out98

with the wash, I'd suggest you wear a "Yes Dear"99

smile instead. 100


FEMALE SPEAK 101

"Honey, can we stop by the grocery store a minute." 102

Translation: Necessary ingredient to make dinner not103

at home. Saving gasoline will put more dollars into104

your wallet. Women bundle chores since a woman's work105

is never done and love to outsource to men on rare106

opportunities. You are experiencing a rare opportunity107

and if men make a scene may discover, literally,108

nothing for dinner since (guess what) first was at109

grocery store. 110


FEMALE SPEAK 111

"Women were born to shop?" 112

Translation: Women secretly wonder if male propaganda113

spread around like one of those cyber rumors...114

Although, that explains the need for all those pairs115

of shoes with soles worn off to find sales to save men116

money. Since men were born to flop on or plop on sofa117

instead of shop. Or just haven't gotten the memo that118

men have two legs and arms, too. Barring glass119

ceilings many women would pay to flop and plop, too.120

Women have noticed too that stores are like a crowded121

zoo from parking line to check out lines.122