Blink (Chapter 1)

She chewed on her cigarette, staring blankly at the television. Bush was on it, not that she cared anyway. She could not even remember the last time she read the papers.1

Sandra, at twenty, could have been a model. Her height was in proportion to her spindle-thin thighs; her magnetic hips had a natural sway whenever she walked. Her almond shaped eyes and her hair, raven curtains which adorned her head – just one of the few attributes to her eye-catching beauty.2

She presented herself, always in the most fashionable of clothes, looking so much like the modern woman, fresh from a brilliant university career.3

But, it was behind her lovely curls and excessive makeup, that she hid her wrinkled forehead and her dark-ringed eyes, her troubled soul. In truth, she was haggard, tired.4

At seventeen, her parents died in a freak helicopter accident. Though the Anderson family was somewhat wealthy, Sandra knew that it was going to be a matter of time before she had to enter the working society to support her schooling brother. Two years later, she dropped out of Stanford University and started work at IHOP as a waitress. Slow and clumsy, she was given the sack within a week. 5

Naturally, her friends told her to try her luck at modeling, but she did not like the spotlight, or the idea of even appearing in magazine covers, claiming that modeling was a slut’s job. In the end, she switched to become a private tutor on Economics. But it was a stressful lifestyle, juggling work, as well as playing mother to her ever-rebellious brother.6

The little remaining free time that she had, was spent on poetry – a lifelong passion Sandra had since childhood. Her actual social life was nonexistent, though she had no lack of suitors.7

Often, she wallowed in self-pity. She had reached the highest point in her life and the rest was just a steep slope down. This was it - a tutor for her rest of life. She did not even like teaching.8

The last few weeks had been a strain. After her advertisement in the local newspaper, her phone started to ring. People didn’t really care whether or not she graduated; she just had to tell them she was from Stanford. She didn’t have that many students, but it was well enough to pay the necessities.9

Sandra spat out her cigarette, which had been chewed into a mushy lump, and reached for a pack of Cheezels.10

She glanced at the clock. 8.30 am. Justin would be back soon, she thought. He was definitely not going to stay on in school for the Math test today. In the midst of idle fingernail biting, she wondered about what reason she would have to give when the teacher called yet again.11

While Justin stayed in school, he was still relatively manageable. Short he was, but there were no limits to what he could do. He lied all the time, so there was not much use talking to him. Over the years, their relationship had been reduced to one that can be compared to between a tenant and a landlord.12

It all just went wrong when her parents died. Then, everything with Justin just went haywire – the grades, bad company and all the ingredients to make a perfect gangster. But what she feared was the day when the principal stopped giving in. Once he got expelled, he could well get into anything. He had already picked up smoking, and of late, alcohol. Silently, Sandra prayed for him.13

The sun beat down, warming the room. Under the soft ticking of the clock and the warm temperature, she dozed off.14

She woke up, when a disk bounced off her nose.15

“Justin!” she yelled. Sandra shot up in the couch.16

“The stuff in my disk is my school project. Finish it for me by tomorrow night.” came the voice down the hallway. “Makes up a hell fifty percent of the final exam!”17

Before she even had time to react, the door slammed in the hallway.18

“Come back here, you shitface!”19

Silence, then, the door opened. At least he had the decency to come back.20

For a few moments, Sandra didn’t know what to say.21

She looked at Justin. She had not seen him clearly for a long time. He was standing in the hallway, wearing a black T-shirt with a skull and in faded brown jeans. His rings were now not only on his ears, but also hanging from his nose.22

What had her brother become?23

“Whacha looking at?” She jerked back into reality.24

“Um, where’s the info?” She already knew the answer.25

“Find it yourself! Enjoy yourself, sis!” The door slammed again.26

“Where are you going tonight?” He was gone.27

Idiot.28

She gritted her teeth. Some kind of life she had. For a while, she toyed with the idea of just doing nothing and let him suffer the consequences.29

It takes up fifty percent of the final exam, she told herself. In her heart, she was really relieved. Justin will pass, then. With that as an incentive, she dragged herself out of the sofa and started work.30

Sandra let herself into Justin’s room, in hope of finding some information Justin could have previously collected. The room, uncharacteristically clean, was to her surprise. But then, she found out that everything had been swept under his bed. Typical cleanup of his room. She sighed. She didn’t really know where to start searching. He couldn’t have done even a single research.31

Transparent tubes lay in a pile at the far corner of his room. She walked over and examined them closely. They weren’t tubes, they were syringes.32

The first thing that came to her mind was drugs. Syringes filled with white and brown liquid. And damned lots of them too. Everything hit Sandra like a bombshell. She dropped the syringes on the floor, not knowing what to do.33

“Sis! What the hell are you doing here?” Justin was back. He looked at her and the frown on his face ceased, worried lines on his forehead took over.34

There was a stiff tension in the room, as both siblings looked at each other. Sandra felt her heart pounding so hard that it might burst any minute.35

“This,” she said, clenching the syringe in her hand so hard that the whites of her knuckles showed.36

“Look, I’m sorry, but I can explain this,” he blurted out.37

Sandra opened her mouth to say something, then Justin interrupted, “No. I’m not taking drugs.” She paused, searching his eyes.38

“This is crazy. These syringes are just stuff we need for biology.”39

“Bullshit. So many?” She folded her arms and nodded her head toward the pile.40

“I’m in charge of biology for my class and I’m supposed to collect them for the class.”41

“You? I’m sure.”42

“What, you don’t trust me?” He paused. “Do you know what I got for biology last term?”43

Sandra remained silent.44

“A bloody distinction.”45

“Then, why don’t you get it for all your other subjects?” Sandra said, quietly.46

“Because only the biology teacher cares about me!” he yelled. By now, Justin was walking all over the room, gesturing agitatedly.47

“Did you know what she said? She said that I was bloody talented and even spoke to the principle about letting me drop the other subjects, let her tutor me all the way, till university. A special programme.”48

Immediately after saying it, Justin bit his lip. He had said too much.49

“You never told me this.”50

“Why do you need to know everything?”51

“So that’s what you’re on now?” she asked. “Just biology, all the way to university?”52

Justin shifted uneasily.53

He looked down at the floor and said, “No. I… I said I would drop out by end of this year to get a job.”54

Sandra stared, while he tried to look the other way.55

“Did you even realise what you have just done?”56

His head turned back and his eyes met with her eyes.57

“Why is always that I must do what you think I must do? Can’t I have a choice? Is it your life, that you must control it? The reason I didn’t go for it is because I think everything that this education offers is just crap. I mean, it’s so long. I’d just settle for a normal job, why do I need to become a scientist anyway?”58

He stood there, breathing hard. Finally, what he had wanted to say was said.59

She was close to tears now. She sank slowly down to the floor. Finally, she nodded her head and whispered, “Yeah. It’s your life. I get it.”60

Justin had stopped pacing around and was holding the disk, which contained the school project.61

‘This,” he said. “I just used it to make you think I’d still be in school next year.”62

On the way out of the room, he dropped it into the wastepaper basket.63

“Sorry sis.” What could he say?64

“Wait.”65

“Huh?”66

“Where are you going tonight?”67

At that moment, his phone rang out with an SMS. It was from Kenny, “Where are you? You’re late.”68

He looked up at his sister.69

“Um… I’m going to some friend’s house.”70

Sandra was too flustered to even notice that he was lying. He nodded to himself and ran off.71

Just outside the door, he looked back. The curtains were open and he could see his sister from where he stood. She was crying so hard that he almost felt like going back in to comfort her. He looked at her for a few moments and walked off briskly.72