Nine Minutes

Nine minutes, huh?  Where to begin? I always try to be the nice, supportive one. I have to compliment everyone and smile about everything. I refuse to let things bring me down. At least, that's what I try to do. I suppress parts of myself, though. I'm not nearly as sweet and kind as everyone thinks. My thoughts aren't as pure and innocent as people like to believe. God, how I wish they were. I must say, before anything, I like how I have to say everything on my mind. After all, there's so much.1

In my mind, I can think some horrible things. They aren't dangerous and or gruesome, but mean and pretty nasty. I criticise the world around me. I compare and contrast. I'm critical and find flaws and I pick at them in my head. I'm easily angered and easily annoyed. I choose not to show it. I say one thing, but I'm thinking another. I swear, I have no ability to really say what I think. I kind of like it though. I'm so much meaner than anyone could ever imagine. I love my friends to death, but I can get so cynical at times.2

I really try to suppress those kinds of thoughts. I get so competitive and so bitchy. I start looking for problems, flaws, and mistakes as minuscule and unimportant they might be. I don't lose my temper on people. At least, not to their faces. I don't speak my fury. I think it. It's not difficult to anger me. I rarely let people know what really goes on in my head.3

I'm easily hurt. Little actions or meaningless words could send me brooding. I'm easily offended and easily stung. Little things will bother me for days to come. I take everything way to personally. I'm not as easy-going as people think. Far from it.4

I'm glad people can't read my mind. I don't want people to know how mean I can really get. Almost no one is completely exempt from my silent anger. I've fumed over nearly all of my close friends at one point or another. Some more than others and some not at all. 5

My time's almost up. I have a minute left. So you've explored the dark corners of my mind. The minute is gone and it is time for me to end this thought process thing. Weird how much came from my mind. I really hope my friends on here don't read this and decide to take it to heart. I would never say a word of this out loud.