Laying meditatively in my bath, I could only think of drowning myself in it. Wondering over and over, what should happen if I was to fall asleep? Replaying the way I would look, wondering if I would wake up the moment I submerged, or would it take a few breaths of water before I awoke? Or maybe I'd sleep right through til the end.1
And what would they make of it, this strange, sudden drowning, my friends and lover? Not a suicide, just an accident, these things happen. Would a suspicion run through them like thickened water, or would they just mourn simple and pure?2
I am a morbid thing.3
What saved me was my vanity: I forgot what I'd written last in my journal. What if it was not the perfect last words? If I was to let myself try this experiment of water's sleep, there would be a chance I would never find out. So I kept myself awake, knowing that today would not be the day I'd find out if people awoke mid-drowning in their bathtub.4
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Comments
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wow
wow, very powerful. fantastic write. -
Brilliant. Absolutely ..brilliant. This is just the kind of thoughts that seem to pop into my head at all (in)apropiate times, in all kinds of ways. It was actually kinda scary reading something that I've thought myself.
I love the way this was written, it just..
Great write
FallenLeaves
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Contemplations of life and death, good writing. I like wondering about people's reactions to my death. And, yes, last words are important, at least the right last words. I also like baths. A good place to fall asleep forever. I liked this writing, thanks. Bennett
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