How do you do? No, too formal. Hi! No, too casual. Em... hello. Too boring. Oh well, greetings earthlings...1
In the increasing depth of political values, I have to oblige that my nickname in common societies is Random Rhubarb. This is because the abliterate nonsense value of my brain, is exageratingly not one hundred, like fellow earthling IQ people. Instead, or indeed, it is just about three million of those apple things, with a bit of Warrior Cats on top.2
WARRIOR CATS! Don't they just rock. Like random rhubarbs really. But then pigs fly, and hedgehogs are good at driving so, they are moderately great. Don't worry about the hippopotimas, they like baths, and enjoy exceedingly great nonsense shows like Doctor Who.3
What if elephants could swim? But then they most probably couldn't because they hate mayonaise infested rivers, which create half the world's water supplies. The Macca people are very fond of mayonaise because they have large ears and enjoy playing catch with squidgy balls...4
Balloons fly. Are balloons rubber? What about water balloons? Scientifically, they are full of juicy bits, just like horseraddish juice. But then about half the population are maxium of three randomness things: These are chestnuts, dolls houses, and dog leads.5
Yes, I know this is utter nonsense, but I feel that the benifits of our society needed dulling down a bit, to make way for flying pigs, dolls houses, and hippos that like baths.
Random Rhubarb is my name. It really rocks...
Author notes
This is a load of utter nonsense. I hope you like it!
A contest entry
- Murder Mysteries/ Utter Nonsense. Either one will do!! by Sha Wujing.
250 points, ended September 2, 2008, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Random Funny Ha Ha by DinoRoar.
100 points, ended August 9, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Insanity, Please by Corpses.
310 points, ended August 14, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Humour Me!!!!!!!!!!!! by Boondock Saint.
190 points, ended August 24, 2008, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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wow that was indeed random as hell which made it a little funny lol. Good/crazy write. Thank you for entering.
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kool
U picked a good title. Thanks 4 the comment on "to catch a Pirate."
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XD! Okay, so first of all the title and the description of the story made me laugh. Very Monty Python-esque.
normally, I comment on almost every other paragraph or so and then have an overview at the end, but I'm just gonna skip the first part.
This is very well written and exceedingly hilarious at the same time. Either this took you forever to write, or you're just really, like, the master of ridiculousness. Your story actually reminds me of this comic I once read. The dude was completely schizophrenic, so his thoughts kept bouncing around in utter nonsense, and he got a magical genie. Needless to say, hilarity ensued. Anyway, I loved it and it made me laugh very hard. Thanks for entering my contest. I haven't really gotten a chance to read much of the other entires (actually, I'm just being lazy), but I'm going to add this as a finalist anyway.
:]!
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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That was cool. I liked it, awesome rant.
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