1However, as everyone also knows, there is the massive danger of being drunk by a TEACHER. And no teacher is worse than Mrs Hayward, who, it is rumoured, actually puts milk set aside specifically for the girls breakfast in her tea.2
From the milk particles perspective3
Firstly, I was in a dark warm thing for absolutely ageeeeeeeesssssssss, but it was funfun because I was whizzing about so fastfast.4
But then I moved soooo amazingly fastfast into another dark warmish thing with lots of other milk particles. Then, the big dark thing was moved very jerkily, as though something bigbig was carrying it, but keeping putting it down. Next, it got coldcold so everyone stopped moving around, but luckily it didn’t get so cold that we all Joined, but it was close, and I was stuck with strangers pushing me around, which wasn’t funfun because I wanted to whiz about fastfast but I couldn’t. 5
We seemed to wait not very long before the Big Noise, but people told me that it wasn’t the Big Noise, just an ‘engine’ starting up, but it sounded big and scary to me. But I soon forgot about the big noise, because we Started Moving, so everyone got more and more jostled around, and started moving around more, but not as much as I wanted, which was boring.6
After ages in the ‘lorry’ we stopped. Then we were carried around a bit by the bigbig thing who kept putting us down. Eventually, we reached the destination he was carrying us to, because he put us down. The place he put the bigbig thing we were in made it vibrate slightly, but then we started moving again, this time more smoothly, which made it massivly more funfun. When we stopped moving for a bit, it was boring, but then we started moring on our own out of the bigbig thing we were in into a bigbigbig thing, which got amazing, because we got hot, so everyone started whizzing around, which was hugely massivly more funfun but it didn’t last for very long which was boring. And then we got cold, so I thought that we were going to Join, which would have been awful, but luckily we didn’t get quite that cold. Yet.7
Next, we got siphoned off, in really small things that you couldn’t whiz around in properly, that is, we couldn’t anyway because we were all so cold, and that was boring. Then we started moving again, in random patterns, which was slightly exciting, but mainly boring, because I wanted to whiz around. Eventually, we got onto another ‘lorry’, and Started Moving. That was when I first heard the Rumour that we were going to Wentworth College!!!, but I couldn’t go whizzing around because it was soooo cold and there wasn’t enough room. But like I was going to get that get me down, - I was going to Wentworth College.!!!8
Anyway, we did arrive, eventually, and yes, we did go to Wentworth College. I had only been half-believing the Rumour until we arrived. When we arrived, we were bumped around lots and lots until we were tipped out into another container made of the same smooth stuff and put down on a table. Everyone immediately started talking about how this meant that we were going to be Drunk By A Student!!! I could hardly wait, and I tried to go whizzing around, but failed because the container we were in was too small, which made it very boring. But soon I forgot about trying to whiz around, and started trying instead to be at the top, which I couldn’t, because all the other milk particles on top of me were more powerful, which was extremely boring, so I had to wait near the top. Most of the milk particles went into the girls cereal, and then another girl came to that table, and poured herself some milk. I was going, I was going, I wasn’t going. I slid back down into the container I was in before, which was hugely more boring. But, I was at the top, I was going to go into the next girl’s cereal. But no more girls came to sit at this table. Then, I saw the TEACHER. She came sneaking up on the table, until one of the girls turned around and noticed her. Then, as she reached for the container we were in, too late, I realised who she was. Mrs Hayward. The teacher most feared by the milk community. She slowly picked up the container in one hand, then paused to laugh at a joke made by one of the other girls. Slowly, she tipped the container over her tea. I tried desperately to push myself backwards into the rest of the milk particles, but to no avail, I was dragged mercilessly forwards, into the teacher’s cup of tea.9
Honorable mention
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