Sam stared across the large dance floor, feeling completely and utterly frustrated. His eyes were low, clouded with need and his hands were clenched to his sides so tightly that they shook. 1
Jacob, the man who he had been tracking silently for two weeks, was dancing seductively with someone that was definitely not him. Someone who was obviously enjoying Jacob’s body and copping more than just a 'feel'. 2
Sam’s body was growling with frustration. Frustration he couldn’t seem to suppress. He knew that all he really needed to do was go to Jacob and tell him what he wanted, but there was so much complication to deal with. 3
First, Jacob was human. 4
Second, Sam was not. Being a Vampire was a far cry from being a human. 5
Sam was sure he had outlived the man by at least one-hundred and seventy years. And he was sure that Jacob would be far from turned on at his eating habits. 6
Sam leaned back into the dingy booth and shut his eyes. Why did he always fall for the human men? Why couldn’t he just find another Vampire to satisfy him for the rest of his eternity? 7
That answer was simple actually. He was attracted to human males more because he wanted what they were. He wanted the human in them. Since Sam hadn't been born a Vampire, he missed what he lost. Missed aging. To have a damn cold for that matter. 8
There was nothing he wanted more than to feel human again. 9
Well, yes there was. 10
He wanted Jacob. And he wanted the tall man Jacob was dancing with to keep his fucking hands to himself. 11
Standing up sharply, Sam strode across the floor, pushing passed the drug-hazed dancers with his eyes trained on what he wanted. Jacob’s eyes were closed and he was rubbing down the man’s body with his hips slowly swiveling back and forth. The motion was painfully sexual and instantly lit Sam’s body ablaze. 12
He walked around the two and began dancing behind the tall man, pushing his hips in tight to gain attention. When the man turned an approving eye over his shoulder, Sam caught his mind and urged him out of the way. Though the tall man looked confused, he complied, stepping away and making room for Sam to step into his newly vacated place. Behind Jacob. 13
Sam leaned his head down and shut his eyes when Jacob pushed back into him, not realized the tall man was gone. His eyes were still shut and there was a faint smile on his beautifully shaped lips. Sam couldn’t help but smile himself as he brought his hands down to rest on the belted hips that were grinding back into his. He let his hands slide up and rest on Jacob’s bare waist and on impulse, kissed the man on his soft neck. 14
That got Jacob’s attention. Apparently, Mr. Tall had yet to do such a thing, pulling a confused look from Jacob. He stopped dancing and turned around, looking Sam directly in the eyes. There was no fear, only confusion, which only turned Sam on more. He didn’t like fear. He liked strong men, who backed down only upon request. And thought Jacob was small, his brave blue eyes were so perfect. 15
“Who are you?” he asked in a voice Sam had grown to long for over the two weeks. Sam stared down at him for a second then smiled slowly. 16
“You are soon to find out,” he whispered and swiftly bent to capture Jacobs slightly parted lips. 17
Continued...18
Author notes
Continued to Chapter 2
A contest entry
- Anything short by Reaver.
400 points, ended August 18, 2008, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Prompts, Ideas, and Darkness! O.o by Friesian.
650 points, ended September 28, 2008, 21 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Insanely in love gay vampire by YaoiQueen Killa.
175 points, ended October 14, 2008, 3 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Yaoi XD by Imaru-Mi-Amore.
270 points, ended December 31, 2008, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Any suggestions would be great!
Comments
1 - 63 of 63
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Different but interesting
I'm usually into vampire stories, there's something so sexy and romantic about vampirism, but I never really came across a gay vampire, so I started reading this out of curiosity, and you have certainly grabbed my attention. Your writing flows fluently and you kept me interested right from the start to the end, and wanting to know more. Excellent.
beginning: 5, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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well written
just saw a few places that needed editing like some commas and though, not thought in p15, realizing, not, realized in p14. I like your choice of words in your descriptions and I was brought into the scene, definitely. Great job, thanks! -
WHOAH!! Usually I don't like vampires very much but this was lovely...*squeals* I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT XD! I like Sam's sneak up behind an unsuspecting Jacob! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck!
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sure
Thanks for the gold!
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ARGGGGGGGGHHHH!! Why did you stop there! You hate me don't you? You hate me and want to leave me hanging off the edge of my seat! Lol.
This was a wonderful beginning. My eyes were literally glued to the computer, because there is nothing hotter than gay vampires (wait...gay cowboys) I can't wait to read more! Thanks for entering
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Well, there are 39 more chapters..
Thanks for reading, commenting and hosting the contest. Glad you liked what you read. Kitter
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Aww cute! I like it. it was short but really an interesting piece of writing.
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39 more chapters. Short chapters but long story lol.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
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This is an excellent beginning. It really draws the reader into the story straight away and lets them know who the main character is and his desires.
I love this sentence - "The motion was painfully sexual and instantly lit Sam’s body ablaze." It really pushes the story into something better...if you get me??
I will read more!!
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Thanks for reading, commenting and giving me applause!
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this is the 2nd time I have read this and I can not believe I did not comment before. the start of this story is awesome and I can not wait to read it again you do great work Kit.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Good beginning Cat. Easy to read and clear in direction. New kind o story 4 me, so ull just have to suffer thru it if i don't like it! Ry
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I just suffered from a severe blond moment. I forgot what yaoi was.they are getting much more frquent.
I found only a few errors in mechanics but nothing that could seriously distract me from the story. I'm not seeing anything new about your vampire. He's old and he doesn't like being a vamp. Well, he's gay (bisexual?) but that's not the point. I understand it's hard to create a unique version of something so widely used, but I do like to at least see an effort. But maybe I haven't read enough to see any diversity. Though I do like tastefully done erotica, I adore subtle desire that you have portrayed. Overall, good job. -
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don't know what your talking about in regards to getting permission..i just entered. Just d/q if not to your liking. thanks for reading and commenting.
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It was a blond moment. I forgot what yaoi was for a couple days. So don't worry. Everythings cool.
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Loved it.... Really awesome. I've read it twice, but can't find my comment from the first time, which makes me assume my net failed to deliver it or something stupidly annoying, lol. Anyway, I loved it. I could get a really clear picture of the scene laid out, even the 'Mr. Tall' but I think the thing I loved most about it was the expression of his thoughts... I felt like I was thinking them along with him. The lack of formality helped build the sense of reality for your main character Sam and I liked the attraction to Jacob. I also liked how the first indication was loving and gentle; a kiss, not anything erotic or particularly sexual. It gave me the feeling that there was a proper thread to follow through, with an actual relationship, and I like that .
I did find a couple of typos, but nothing majour. Though I think they have been listed before, here they are again, just in case there's anything new.
"And thought Jacob was small" - "Though Jacob was small" Something I often do myself is begin a sentence with and, which, unless someone is speaking, is not allowed, sadly. I like it personally, but for the sake of good grammar, it's not allowed. *sighs* lol.
"Missed aging." - "ageing" Actually, being unsure, I checked this and either spelling is aceptable so I suppose that comes down to personal preference.
Anyway, brilliance and excellence and thank you for such a superb read. You have captivated my attention and I hope to read more of your many chapters as soon as school work and revision permits me a moment. Thanks very much and best of luck in the contest.
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Aww sorry i missed the first comment...thanks for this one Glad you liked it mostly
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It was really very well written and I wish you best of luck. Thank you for such an excellent piece. .
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oh, wow.
just wow.
you did great on this! -
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Thank you!
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O.O OMG YAOI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yay ! I love it do more or this fangirl will kill you and take your story XD lol great job
DNY---
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Congrats on all the shinys!
Wow, great start to what promises to be a wicked story. I like the fact you kept it short, I have a low attention span, and am often pushed for time You did pack a lot in there, held me throughout. Very nicely done, congrats on the shinys and good luck in this contest
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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thank you!
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XD
If you dont add more i will officially kill you XD, I like Sam, he's brave -
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yay! Glad you liked it! The whole thing is done...just check out the list if you are interested! Thanks again! =CC
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I'm not usually a fan of vampires, but paragraph 15 just made the characters and set the story. I wish the last line read something like "and though Jacob was small, his brave blue eyes were fixed in perfect confidence." Or something to that effect. Nice work.
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Yay! So glad you liked it! And that suggestion was actually really good...i might just do that! Thanks again! Cat
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I'm a big vampire fan V.L. and I love your take on vampires exspecaily gay vampires. You has gotten a big fan keep up the talnet.
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Oh how wonderful! Thanks! hope you enjoy!
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What can I say that has not been said...tis a great piece and a great topic as well. Excellent work here.
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ZOMGOSH!
I wish I could give you 1000000 clappys!
This is sooo interesting, engrossing, hooking! I am 
with your writing! Great emotion, depth, voice, and description! 
You take vampires to a whole new level! Yay! What a fantastic, enthralling read! Excellent job! I 
ur writing, and this is def no exception!
-Lissy
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wowowowowowowow
Thanks alot!
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Very hot, what's not to love about this? I would like to read the rest when I get a chance. Thanks for entering the contest!
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thanks
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I have not read the Twighlight series, and I was reading a few comments before I started to read your story- So I have no idea what is the cuffle !!! somebody tell me !!!
Alright- First point- Instant confrontation - Human vs vampire.
Now that is one of the biggest confronations in out world I am interseted to see how this pans out. I am sure with your unique style and elegant writing, even in the toughtest of writing- this will be another well written story.
I am already loving it !!! god woman, you have got be on a hook and you are realing me in - was that your plan all along ? ^.^
Sam leaned back into the dingy booth and shut his eyes. Why did he always fall for the human men? Why couldn’t he just find another Vampire to satisfy him for the rest of his eternity?
(Instant questioning- Yes why couldn't he, I know by the end of the story I shall know- but as it stand so early I am immediatly driven to know why he finds humans to be his prefered taste)
You have a nack for simple, but impuslive, addictive, sensuality- I have the shivers, it makes me feel all tingly..its like a drug... Oh I can't explain it, but it makes me feel all shuddering when reading it - It hooks me- bloody consumes me. Brilliant!!!
I wonder if its because gay men trigger me to be majorly turned on
haha I guess that is one thing !!!
I will be reading more ~ good thing is I dont have to wait to long to read on and you have inspired my Icy ~ You have inspired me to write... Bless you~
Blair <3
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Pleased to help out Blair in any way i can ♥ Cat
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Love the Elements here!
Vampires and hot gay men, good writing style and lots of rich details to savor, what's not to love? Great job!
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oooo Despite the fact that this is a vampire story, I actually like it so far ^-^ Ever since Twilight came out the whole vampire thing has just been overused, in my opinion v.v But still, this is good
And the gayness. Oh, the gayness XD That makes the story so much better. At least for me XD
So if Jacob didn't know Sam but Sam had been following Jacob around for like, ever, then isn't that, like, stalking? o.o lol. But yeah.
My first impression was that everyone was, like, ballroom dancing. v.v Idk, maybe I'm just too hooked up on the story I'm writing about a fancy art school, but that's really what I thought. XD Then when you mentioned something about the dancers being drug-hazed or something, that's when I got the idea. You might wanna add something in the beginning to give the readers a picture of where he is, so that they don't end up thinking everyone is waltzing in a ballroom like me, lol XD
But yeah. This is really well written so far. Great job
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Thanks so Much!
Hey thank you! I didn't even think about the dancing thing so thanks for letting me know! i guess i assumed readers would think like me and i shouldn't have done that N i don't like the Vamp thing because of Twilight (can't stand that book or series), I like it cause of JR Ward Got referred to her books by a friend and LOVED them! Thanks again! and thanks for reading! Cat
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lilpopstar
ithink you should include some more horror and murder parts in your booksbeginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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it's a romance I hate horror but thanks for teh suggestion! lol. Thanks for reading!
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This is really a great piece, it held my attention the entire way through.
The only problem that I have with it (me being completely obsessed with correct grammar) is that you don't remain consistent with your capitalisation of the word "human". Sometimes it's capitalised, and at other times it's not - better to just pick one and stick with it.
And a few small spelling errors as well:
"Sam stared accross the large dance floor, feeling completely and utterly frustrated."
--> "across"
"Missed ageing."
--> "aging"
But like I said before, a really great piece, captivating and tense.
Will probably be checking out the sequels soon.
Forever--x
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Hey thanks for the great review! And point outs! Appreciate teh time you took! Thanks for reading!
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Oh this is quite intriging. (I murdered that spelling) I like it. Sam sure is up front about his emotions. great job, can't' wait to read more.
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I liked this a lot! it was thrilling, and while i usually don't go for the gay things, I thought this was great! It was a good and interesting read. i liked how Jacob didn't know who Sam was, that was cool. Great good. great writing, keep it up!! =DD
-Dani
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Thanks for reading and enjoying!
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the underlying (sexual) tension is great and very well sustained. i think the opening lines could be developed to create more immediate interest. just a thought though...
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Thank you! Tried to change it, but i really drew up empty. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! Appreciated! ♦ cat
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Already read this one...see previous comment. Still really liking it great work, cat, really
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i
really enjoyed this
it was very good
it was descriptive and detailed
i was really involved
keep it up
cant wait to read more
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Thank you
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Wow I really love sam he is so awesome! you got a great thing going here I think you should keep writing this. You have a great plot going. I am so glad I came across this.
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Ohhhhhhhh, spicy!!!!!!!
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Awesome!
Wow! The descriptions in this are so realistic and well-written! Sam seems so cool, and I'm already beginning to become attached to his personality. Excellent job!
Lissy
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cool,
interisting, engaging.
good work.
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Intresting
This seems to be a different and intresting story so far. i m curious about next chapter . hope u will post it soon . good work .
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Good to see you didn't lose the bug:)
This was really good, Cat. Seems you have evolved into quite the writer. I look forward to reading more from you. Keep it up, good job.
P7 outlived/out-lived ...make sure if you captialize human once, you do it throughout...you did sometimes, then others, you didn't. consistancy. 17 missing the word past
Welcome to SW, good luck with this story.
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DURIAN!! Hello CRAZY!
Durian as usual...straight to business Glad you like the story!
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i agree ied it
can't wait 4 part 2...keep it up...
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Will post it just as soon as i can thanks for reading!
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I likee it =]
good job!
Cant wait till part too!!!
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Wow, THanks! That was fast! Glad you liked it!
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