As I walked along the long, narrow road, I came across a cross-road. I looked at the two paths, slowly bringing my gaze to the right path. It looked nicer, the sun was shining off of it, and it almost gave it a warm and comforting feeling. Surely many people had taken this road.1
Then I let my mind wander from the scene of the road...back to my childhood. I remember comming with my mother to play at a park, It was a beautiful park, with a faint glowing to it, and that same comfortable feeling. Then I remembered what had happened only weeks after my mother had taken me there. The police had found the body of a dead girl in the park. They had suspected that she'd been killed then brought there, but they weren't sure. My mother had feared that I could be killed, and I never returned to that park again...2
Comming back to my senses, I reluctantly shifted my gaze to the left path. It was running alongside a river, and it seemed cold. A thin mist lingered over the length of the path, giving it an eerie sense of danger. I was sure that not many people would come this way. Once again my mind wandered to a time when I was younger.3
I remembered the time I'd gone back-packing with my girl scout troup. Yes, that had been a hard time. I remebered how cold it had been up in the mountains. I remembered the river that ran next to us as we walked, and how the counselors told us it would be our guide. I remembered how steep and terrifying it had been, the fear of falling haunted my every step. But then i recalled how we had gotten home by following the river...4
Now, as i looked upon the two paths for one last glance, I thought about my experiences with the forks in the road of my life, such as this. Then, with one final deep breath, I trod left, and took the road less traveled.5
And as I walked along the small river, I remembered that looks can always be decieving.
A contest entry
- Choose your path! by KalineReine.
182 points, ended August 11, 2008, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Got Clap? (Prewrites Only!) by Valkyrie.
650 points, ended September 20, 2008, 35 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - My First Contest by JansTheWoman.
254 points, ended October 10, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short stories 2 by Thorn-on-the-Rose.
275 points, ended September 17, 2008, 31 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Beauty by Solei.
250 points, ended October 25, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Short short short!! by Thorn-on-the-Rose.
175 points, ended September 28, 2008, 36 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Never judge a book by it's cover...
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I liked this. It was imaginative, and descriptive with a nice ending.
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 2, ending: 3, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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Very descriptive and really great to read.! I enjoyed this from top to bottom, so kudos on a job well done! Best of luck in your contest!
Rian -
Cool, so I've read this before, my first comment is two below this one hehe, and I still feel the same about this story, It's very good, with a great perspective, and good luck in my contest =DD
-Dani -
Very pretty, great descritpion
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I liked this, it has great perspective! excellent job, very discriptive, very entertaining, very enjoyable, great job, and good luck in my contest =DDD
-Dani -
This is such a nice story! Very lovely.
Good luck in the contest
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It's nice and creative. You're imagrey is wonderful and the moral is true. It's better to take the road less traveled. good writing!
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Hey, nice imagery! I like that your story had a "moral" to it at the end, too. The flashbacks were a nice touch. The park flashback was creepy, and the hiking flashback was relieving, when the scary river led them home safely.
A couple places you have "comming" instead of "coming", and lowercase i instead of I, I noticed.
Thanks for sharing this short, rich story in my contest. Good luck!
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Wow, this was really insightful! I love how you really made everything make sense here... And using prior experiences to justify the main character's reasoning makes it even better. This was truly worthy of my time, I thank you.
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EGAD!
It posted my comment twice! Oh noez! Now, I took up more space! ... And even mroe space writing this! XD -
Nice
I liked it. Very nice! I only saw one error, out of all of it. But otherwise, it's good, I like it. I really like the part when you talk about Girl Scout Troup. It could have been mountainous! Lol. Keep up the good work. =] -
Nice
I liked it. Very nice! I only saw one error, out of all of it. But otherwise, it's good, I like it. I really like the part when you talk about Girl Scout Troup. It could have been mountainous! Lol. Keep up the good work. =]
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OHAI MAI BACKPACKING BUDDEH
HAHAHAHA BACKPACKING LOLZ FOREVAH HAUNTZ US YAH -
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Of course it does, it was long and painful and horrible.
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