freedom to love.

I sat on the balcony, and stared up at the dark velvet sky, glittering with the millions of stars and the glowing with the light of the solo moon.1

The cool air brushed against my skin and unsettled me, breaking my concentration from the seemingly simplistic sky. Unfortunately, what seemed to be a simplistic sky was anything but, and it matched how I felt to a tee. No problems on the outside, but complex on the inside. I folded my arms and turned to walk back inside, as I opened the door I took a deep breath as if to prepare myself for what lay ahead of me.2

"Charlotte!!! Josh won't share his markers!!" my baby sister Kelsey complained looking at me with pure frustration on her six year old face, In the back of my mind I felt envious she could be frustrated over something so small... I yearned for the innocence of a child. I shook of my selfish thoughts and returned my focus to my brother and sister.3

"Kels, Josh is doing his homework honey, how about you come with me and we can cook dinner together?" I said calmly smiling at Josh who looked pleased he could finish his homework in peace.4

"OK!!" she grinned excitedly leaving her 10 year old brothers side and following me as I walked through the lounge to the kitchen.5

After dinner was cooked and eaten I cleared up while Josh and Kelsey dressed for bed.6

I tucked in Josh then went through to Kelsey’s bedroom and tucked her into her bed.7

"When's dad going to be home?" she asked softly, her eyes full of hope8

"Later baby, he's at work right now" I lied9

"Okay... can I have a kiss?"10

I kissed her softly on the head and walked to the door11

"Night Kelsey I’ll see you in the morning k?"12

"Night Charlie" she yawned back.13

I left the door ajar and walked back into the lounge and out on to the balcony, shutting the door behind me.14

I sat on the deck chair and rested my head in my hands. I felt like curling up into a ball and sleeping for eternity, but I couldn't I had Josh and Kelsey to think of, because if I didn't no one would. 15

My mother had died when Kelsey was 4, josh was 8 and I was 16. My father fell apart quickly... drinking almost every night, and when he wasn't drinking he was sleeping. He seemed to forget he had children that needed him and slipped into a destructive path.16

It could have been easier to tell someone, so I didn't have to bear the burden alone, but they would have split us up and my siblings needed me, as much as I needed them.17

"Hey Charlie... you okay, you look deep in thought there" a familiar voice called out18

I broke myself from my daydream and looked up, my neighbor Luke walked slowly up the driveway and box in his arms.19

"Hi Luke, I’m fine... just thinking"20

"As usual" he joked sitting on the balcony step21

"Yep" I smiled 22

"Hey I brought some clothes over for Josh and Kelsey... My sister's kids have outgrown them and I thought you might like them for the kids" he said pushing the box over to me.23

I felt my eyes tingle, my emotions felt like they'd abandoned me. Being a 16 year old high school dropout hadn't opened many doors work wise, and while I worked as hard as I could in my checkout position at the grocery store, every week was a struggle. A simple box of clothes eased the financial burden immensely.24

"Thank you Luke" I struggled to say without falling to pieces.25

"You’re not okay are you? Charlie, talk to me... please" Luke pleaded.26

I looked up again and noted the worry in his face, in his eyes, his hypnotizing hazel eyes.27

"I've never been okay Luke, not since my mom died"28

Luke hadn't lived next door back then, he'd only moved into the neighborhood six months ago. Usually we chatted at night after the kids were in bed, but tonight was different, tonight I felt like I was losing the battle of keeping my sanity and my family together.29

"Dad never stops drinking, never stops thinking of anyone but himself... I'm sick of being the parent when I should out there... to experience the world. Having fun, dating. I've missed all that stuff Luke" I whispered huskily, my throat was on the brink of choking up.30

"You shouldn't be the parent Charlie, but you do a damn good job" Luke spoke as he stood up and walked up the steps and kneeled next to me31

"I watch you sometimes, staring at the stars and I can see this lonely girl wanting to break free and fly away into the night. But they light up your life Char, you could never leave them"32

"I know, they're the reason I wake up each morning, none of this is there fault, they shouldn't suffer" I said looking back up at the stars.33

"Neither should you." he said simply his hand resting on mine.34

The tears fell freely from my face, for some reason I felt lighter, like some of the weight had been lifted from my shoulders.35

I didn't notice Luke's hand leave mine, not until I felt his arms wrap around me. I let myself lean into him and for once feel protected, instead of being the protector.36

A few moments later Luke pulled back and his hands cupped my face; his thumbs brushed away my tears37

"I promise you, I'm always going to be here for you when you need me Charlotte, I'm going to help you rebuild your family in anyway I can"38

I nodded, unable to speak for fear I would begin to cry again.39

"I will always be here when you feel you are in your darkest hours... in some way I already have been, just from afar in an unspoken way"40

I found myself smiling, although things weren't going to fix themselves, I didn't feel alone anymore. I looked into Luke’s hazel eyes and saw they were glistening with the reflection of the moon, his skin aglow as the light bounced off his face.41

"Why?" I found myself questioning42

"Because we need the same thing Char" he whispered, his lips curving 43

"Love?" I asked, unsure of why I had said it, I felt myself blush and dipped my head toward the ground. Luke’s hands gently lifted my head back up to face his and he nodded44

"Exactly"45

His face drew closer to mine and I closed my eyes, our lips gently danced a slow soulful dance, I felt free, like I was flying amongst the stars. Luke was my moon guiding me in the dark, guiding me to a place where I felt strong again. 46

It may have been seconds, maybe minutes later, but finally we pulled apart I grinned and ruffled Luke's auburn hair47

"Coffee?" I asked48

"Sure" he answered following me inside.49

It wasn't over yet, instead it was a new beginning, one with a million outcomes each with there own highs and lows. Instead of feeling scared, resentful or alone... I felt excited. While others lit up my day, I now had someone, to shine down on me in my darkest hour.50