He had lived a good and honorable life. For years, toward the end, he had done everything he was supposed to have done...particularly in the way of burial affairs. He had even purchased, at considerable expense, a large plot, in a fine cemetary next to his recently departed sister's grave. Then, one afternoon, unbeknownst to anyone (for there was no one left) 87 year old Abe Solkowsky died. It was three months before a few of his neighbors learned he was dead. And by then he had long been laid somewhere in a Potter's Field. No one knew where.
Author notes
Don't even bother to count. It's 100...on the nose.
A contest entry
- RIDING TO SCHOOL ON A KANGAROO !!! by Intrepid.
100 points, ended August 15, 5 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Drabbles by trekkergirl.
200 points, ended September 2, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Drabbles by tallblondie.
500 points, ended August 23, 35 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wow, I'm thinking getting a complete story down to 100 words only is no easy task. But then the "10 words if 1" rule applies here too I guess. In such a small word limit, choosing the right word can make or break the entire piece, no? *is impressed*
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Oof. I am always APALLED when I hear about these people that die and no one even notices until they "stumble" on them a long time later. It's so terrible! I'm sitting here thinking, didn't he have any other family/relatives? Did't any neighbors notice that they hadn't seen him go in our out in a while? And so on.
Potter's Field was an excellent touch.
A brief put powerful story. Food for thought.
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Its a unique write. It leaves the reader to decide what emotions he or she wants to clothe the story in. good one
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Using 100 words to tell a complete story is no mean-feat and you did it well.
One suggestion though - you used the word 'done' twice in the 2nd sentence. Rather say; For years, toward the end, he had done everything he was supposed to have ... or he had accomplished all that he was supposed to have.
Regards
Bernice DeLucchi -
loved it. it's so deep! I'd to be forgotten if I died, wow, great job. It reminds me of a man I met about a week ago. Great job, I loved it =DD
-Dani -
Excelent as usual!
I guess that brevety was a part of the contest! This isn't your usal fair so just what were you trying for?
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A stunning vignette of what is, sadly, often the case in our world today. People fall through the cracks and, despite their wishes otherwise, are forgotten.
Thank you for your entry and good luck!
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oh so sad! But an excellent write. Good job.
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lol this story is well discribed and written. Very good for a 100 word story. Hope you win the contest.
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I very nice piece, Gary. Apart from the well chosen words, I think the two reasons why I like it is 1. It has a stark, sad realism about it - how many times does one hear of such lonely deaths? - surely it is one of our own greatest fears? Which leads me to 2. This is more than an epitaph to a single, solitary man; it is an epitaph to us all!
thanks, I enjoyed it and it was thought-provoking.
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Brilliant....
I don't really care about the 100 words lol... I was just trying to keep it a challange really.
This was what I call a postcard story.
A story you can write on a postcard with a beginning, middle and end and one that captured the reader !!!
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID.
so saddening, but so beautiful.
Well Done - GOOD LUCK
Thanks for entering
Blair
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oh so sad. But so well written. Tells a story. shows much emotion. Good job.
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I don't really get it... so it's for a contest where it has to be 100 words, or something? Eh. Well, good luck I guess? ~shrug~
~Dasha -
Confusing
Hi Gary---I don’t see the point of this story, in fact I wouldn’t even call it a story. The topic is very good fodder for a story, but this is more like an obituary column insert.
Abe Solklwsky by your description come across as a better than average senior, at least in so far as his wealth and position in society is concerned. How he could find himself in the position of being buried as a pauper might make an interesting story, because to this old puppy, my friends, it seems like a bit of a stretch.
Talk to you soon---ablelaz.
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I guess I need to read the contest contents to understand this. This was not your usual style of writing.
Wouldn't his will have all the information in it and wouldn't the police or whoever found him also find some ID? Maybe I'm just being dense. I'll go read the the contest.
Ok I've read the contest. Good luck
Brooke
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