Destroying Me

The rain fell hard. It beat . It beat against the windows of the diner where me and Charlie spent too much of our time. There was no one left but us and Vince, the fatass behind the counter. Charlie laughed his raspy laugh. His cigarette was close to falling out of his fingers. He was almost twirling, swinging and holding onto the counter to stay on the stool. I dipped French fry after French fry into our vanilla milkshake. I took bite after bite. I took sip after sip. I knew I was going to feel like shit for this.1

"We're closing up," Vince said. He wiped the counters clean.2

“Aww, what the fuck?” Charlie giggled. “Diners ain’t close.”3

“They do at three in the morning.”4

“Bullshit!” I shouted. Charlie and I looked at each other and burst out into chick flick chuckles. “We be staying.”5

“You be gettin out .” Vince snatched our milkshake and set it in the back. “Always tomorrow.”6

“Not always,” I said.7

Me and Charlie stood up, grabbing our fries, and made a dramatic, drunken exit. Our pigeon-toed feet crossed one of the other as we walked with our arms locked. The rain kept on beating . Kept on beating until it hurt . Hurt like safety pins in my skin, Hurt like they was following through on their threats to put needles through my body and pins in my mind. Invading me.8

Downtown Baltimore was the last place I wanted to be at night. It was dark but lit. It was sound and boomig. And even in the arms of Charlie, I seen the stalkers everywhere. I seen their see-through skin around the corner. I felt their arrhythmic heartbeats under the street. They tried to lure me. I tried to ignore them. I used Charlie’s voice to cancel out theirs.9

"It's fucking cold !" Charlie shouted. He smirked the whole time. "Aren't you cold?"10

"Freezing."11

Our arms went from locked to around each other's waist. Our hip bones touched. They were sharp and protruding. I traced Charlie's spine through his soaked shirt. It stuck to his waifish body. We could have snapped in two in the middle of the street but it wasn't yet the right time to break.12

I saw one of them. It creeped around the corner with no mouth, no nose, no ears. Faceless, shapeless and transparent. I could see its insides. I saw its blood clot. I saw its heart beat. I saw it walk inches from me and spit in my face and Charlie did absolutely nothing about it. He watched and laughed as this monster spat and smiled. Their voices ripped through my mind. My nerves were bursting. My heart was speeding. I swear my eyes were no longer part of my face. I tried to block it all out.13

I began to drift from Charlie, in front of him. I put my hands to my ears and closed my eyes tight. Clamped my jaw shut. Their voices came from all sides, screaming and spitting and demeaning. "Shut up," I squealed through my teeth. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!"14

Before I knew it, it was digging its nails into my shoulders, pulling at me, yelling. My face became one with the brick wall as I slammed my head into this building or that one. I thrashed against it. The rain beat against us. The safety pin precipitation rammed into my body.15

"Leave me alone." I let out a scream as loud as I could. It rang through all of Maryland and echoed against the buildings. I swear I woke the whole East Coast up and now the world was against me, slamming my face into this brick wall, ramming safety pins into my body, beating me with water. "You can't fuck with my head." I turned around and banged the back of my head into the wall. I collapsed onto the ground with the feeling of holes in my skull. I pushed my hands into my eyes and scraped my broken nails across my eyebrows. "Get off of me," I begged. I knew I was crying now and my tears would soon fill up the streets and create an ocean that would drown Baltimore and send us all to Hell. I burried my face into my knees. I felt a hand on my back, rubbing.16

"Holy fuck." It was Charlie. "Oh my God, Aubrey." He pulled off his tee shirt in this rain and wiped my face with it. The shirt went from white to maroon. I wrapped my arms around his neck. They were all crowded behind him, dancing and jumping, urging me to hold my breath and never let go. Charlie shivered harder than anyone I'd ever known. It was almost impossible to hold his hand because it shook so hard. He was jacketless and shirtless in the cold rain and we still had endless blocks to walk. 17

"Stay here." My words came out coldly. I didn't mean it so. "Stay here." I tried again. There was no answer from him; only a command from me. We climbed the ladder to the roof and snuck through my bedroom window.I changed to nothing. Naked and vulnerable. We crawled into my bed. Charlie was out within minutes, I knew. I listened to the rain beat the windows for centuries before closing my eyes. 18