Somewhere Over The Rainbow

As social conservative groups are successfully placing a referendum on the November ballot to revoke the newly-won right for Californian gay couples to marry, and as other groups push for a gay marriage ban in Arizona (http://www.advocate.com/news_detail_ektid56873.asp), it seems as if everything’s about to go backwards. The fight is relentless. Will gays and lesbian ever gain marriage, and if they do, will they ever be able to live without the fear of the gift of marriage — the right — being revoked (http://www.365gay.com/news/some-calif-gay-couples-decide-to-wait/)? How can one fight the huge, blundering, ugly masses, the mass of Ignorance itself? How can one teach the world, to coax and connect and reassure and explain and teach? The U.S.—even the world, in some parts—have come far along the yellow-brick road (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_of_Dorothy) of Enlightenment and Sense and Fairness and Righteousness and Love. But there’s still one hell of a long way to go.1

It’s nice to step back for a while. To stop being so excited and happy and proud of some school district, some corporation, some state or country or another, to stop being so angry and repulsed and seething at some police officer (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080726/ap_on_re_us/overboard_shooting) or religious group or brainless politician (http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hs4VfMRPEVi-5K2K8lN7YsILxWegD91UGQIO9) reusing the same chewed-up-and-regurgitated-penguin(http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/02/07/MNG3N4RAV41.DTL)-food of cliché excuses and arguments. It’s nice to take a breather and just think about the future. Slowly but surely, we’re winning.2

My friend Ron* casually came out to me as bisexual today. I’d suspected he was gay for a while, and others had agreed with me. I knew Ron was supportive of LGBT people, but I never asked Ron about his sexuality because I was afraid that he’d heard the question too often and it would upset him for me to ask as well. So I didn’t. Turns out, I should have gone with my gaydar and asked him. Fear of the Are-You-Or-Aren’t-You question is present on both sides of the Great Gay Argument.3

I also learned that Ron had attended the Lansing Pride event this year, and worked at a gay bar in Ann Arbor. He also had had a year-and-a-half relationship with a guy from Holt (near Lansing), had a crush on one of my bisexual guy friends, and also has a bisexual mother who is currently living with a woman. I was amazed to learn all these things, one right after another. I told him about my trepidation over asking him about his sexuality before, and he said he never hid any of it, it was just that no one ever asked. He also didn’t understand why people cared so much. I suggested that people would most likely stop caring once the answer was out and the mystery was gone. That’s when I started thinking.4

Homosexuality is becoming more and more normalized through the media. Though the gay representations, role models, and characters may be less than perfect (http://www.afterelton.com/TV/2008/3/gaycharacterevolution?page=0%2C0) or treated differently or portrayed in not the most positive light—they’re out there. With Will and Grace, Brothers and Sisters, Ugly Betty, MTV, and with our generation, more and more gay characters are emerging. They’re becoming younger and less closet-cased and they’re beginning to evolve from thin cardboard stand-ups to characters who can stand on their own two feet. People are realizing that it isn’t just adults who come out, but teens and even kids. The world is learning, slowly opening up like a flower. I read an article that mentioned that some kids these days have never known The Closet. What an incredible revelation this was. Someday, The Closet will cease to exist. Can you imagine it? The moment you yourself decide at age 12 that you’re bisexual or gay, you could tell your parents and friends and they’d be perfectly fine with it? And it won’t just be an occurrence among liberal or open-minded or close-knit families where the kids have amazing relationships with their parents, but among conservative and rather distant families too. Everyone. How would that define the gay liberation movement then (if it hadn’t succeeded and then died out by then)? Sometimes the very definition of a gay identity is “closeted” or “out.” How would gay lives be defined, then? Perhaps they wouldn’t be defined—“gay” wouldn’t conjure up a whole series of facts and difficulties and situations and issues, just a simple statement of fact. Gay people would not be “gay,” but people. There would be no such mention of the “gay lifestyle,” simply “life—oh yeah, and gay.” What a beautiful world that would be.5

Granted, I don’t think I’ll see that day in my lifetime, where kids have no idea what The Closet is. I do, however, think it will get better in my lifetime. I do believe that in my lifetime all LGBT people will gain recognition and the right to marriage by the United States Federal Government. Segregation of African-Americans ended in the 1960’s, but racism still exists. But it’s getting better as the older generation die out (this is harsh, but the reality of it) and the newer generations who never knew the reality of segregation forget the old stereotypes. Like this, there will still be a lot of work to do after gays gain the right to marriage. It will take decades for prejudices and stereotypes to die off. I will die before this, but it will happen. Tomorrow’s generation will reach the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.