"There once was a man named Mayne1
who had a tricycle named Jane--2
Mayne hopped on his trike--peddling with all his might3
The neighbors all thought him insane."4
...so the story started and ended5
No, not really. We need to tell where the tricycle came from.6
It was a rainy day somewhere in China. A boy with orange hair and a bottle of a weird black stuff in his hand, walked along a river minding in his own business. Suddenly, he heard a muffled scream coming out of boat, it sounded like a child in distress. The boy was not really sure if he should see what was going on or just walk away and ignore the child’s scream.7
He paused for a moment looking ahead and then back at the boat, all at once the child screamed again, even louder. Concern or curiosity took over and he went back the few steps to the edge of the river and jumped in the boat. "Hey, is everything alright there?" - no answer. He thought it would do no harm to take a quick look through a small window; and so he did.8
What he could see was a little boy kicking a tricycle, and saying words that couldn't be translated on the 7 o'clock TV show. (he knew this because of the subtitles that seemed to appear across the boys chest.)9
“Why are you kicking that tricycle?" he asked the boy. (of course the orange hair boy didn't speak Chinese, but his chest seemed to have the same ability as the the Chinese boy's only in reverse!).10
"This thing hurts me all the time, I can't handle the pedals so well; I have had enough of it, I am going to throw it in the river!" And saying that, the little Chinese boy tromped up on to the deck with his tricycle in his hand.11
With eyes wide open, orange hair boy grabbed the little one by the back of his shirt and said: "listen, if you are going to throw it away, you better give it to me, I'll teach that tricycle how to treat people well." Now the little one was facing away and could not read the subtitles so he kept right on. Orange hair boy turned him around, pointed to his chest and repeated, "listen, if you are going to throw it away, you better give it to me, I'll teach that tricycle how to treat people well." 12
The little Chinese boy looked up at the tall orange hair boy and down at his little tricycle and said, “You are too big for this little tricycle why would you want it? It is old and the paint is chipped. Look this wheel is bent and there are no fancy covers on the handlebars. You are crazy one if you want to have this. What will you give me for it?”13
Orange hair boy looked the tricycle over closely and thought that with a little modification he could make it work, but the idea of this boy wanting something for it when two minutes ago it was going to be just another piece of junk at the bottom of this rancid river had him stunned.14
He and his shirt replied, “Why would I give you anything you silly boy, you were going to throw it in the river! I am saving your river from more pollution, besides I have nothing to trade.”15
The little boy cocked his head to the side and looked at him closely, all at once he pointed at the half drunk black stuff and said “give me that!” Orange hair boy was not overly fond of the drink, but it was all the vendor had left when he had got his lunch earlier. He had been carrying it for almost 2 hours. 16
This was a fair trade, something neither of them wanted for something they did! The deal was set and orange hair boy walked away with the tricycle banging against his gangly legs. 17
Half way through the park he hears a shrill voice yelling in French, but he thinks nothing of it and keeps walking, one rescue a day is all he can handle. All at once he is attacked from behind, that French is being hurled his way. He turns around, holding the tricycle in front of him in defense, and there stood a French au pair in her little outfit dragging the Chinese boy now in tears. She starts to babble and sure enough her chest starts translating, of course orange hair got distracted by the heaving ample bosom beneath the letters, but he got the meaning. She wanted the tricycle back.18
“No way lady a deal is a deal.” The au pair glared at him not understanding a word he was saying so he directed her eyes to his chest and repeated, “No way lady, a deal is a deal!” Now the Au pair was so shocked by the translating shirt that she forgot why she was standing there and let go of the little one for a moment. He of course took off like a shot back toward the boat. Au pair looked back and forth between the two boys and shouted at orange hair, “You do not move I will be back!” Of course her back was turned so orange hair could not read the translation. So, as soon as she took off after the little one he started jogging the other way back to his little shack and his tools. 19
Orange hair sat the tricycle on his table and sat down on the stool he had acquired just last week from the Italian Baker's wife (but that is a different story). After careful examination and a mental assessment of the junk piled at the back of the shack orange hair gave a nod, stood up and went to work. With wrenches clanging and screwdrivers screwing he transformed that little tricycle into a machine to reckon with. The final touch would be to paint his little three wheeled wonder. In a box under the table were six almost empty cans of spray paint, these were left over from the kids he had scared about a month ago trying to graffiti the side of his shack. He knew they would come in handy some day. He picked the one with the most paint and headed out back. 20
Soon his tricycle glowed a lovely aquamarine, and he decided she needed a name. He pondered what to call his new treasure and as he was thinking back on his younger days he recalled a sweet young girl named Janet. She had been the only one in all of third grade to make him a valentine. All the others had used cheesy store bought ones or none at all, but Janet’s had been special. The next day she moved to Alaska and he never saw her again.21
That was it! Here was a hand worked treasure worthy of such a special name. As the Aquamarine paint dried he looked and looked for a way to christen his new machine. Finally he went back to the spray cans and found a magenta that would go nicely. He sprayed some out in a cup and using the tip of his finger, because he had no brush, he carefully started spelling out the name. J - A - N - - - when he got to the E he realized that he had made the letters too big and the T would never fit. He thought and he thought and finally he remembered! The hygienist who always cleaned his teeth was named Jane! That was close enough! So after carefully applying the E he stepped back and smiled!22
From that day on Orange hair boy could be seen riding all over town on "Jane the Wonder trike". About a month later he saw the little Chinese boy and his French au pair again and both of them stood their gaze as blank as the fronts of their shirts and watched him ride by. Their eyes widened when he grinned his sideways grin and honked his ooga-ooga horn.23
The End…24
(or is it???)25
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
-
great
This story is successful with or without the reader having read any of yemassee's work. No inside jokes leave the uninitiated feeling confused or ruin any of the humor. The techie misses the point of the tshirts. A better system than t shirts exists to translate already as well why use writing when the translations can be in audio. The fact that the t shirts could only be read in the front created so many confusions that the t shirt is not an invention but a vehicle for humor. One that these two talented ladies exploit to great effect. The message I got out of that is that men would pay much greater attention to women speaking with tranlslating tshirts
Yes I know that is not the message these two ladies were making either. The great thing about this story is that it is hilarious comedy that rings true to life. Without thinking about the similarities to real life where people throw out or discard beloved treasures but will at the same time look to profit from these unwanted items if given a chance is very applicable. The comment that this is like a fairy tale is very true. It has morals that don't slap you upside the head like a fable, but at the same time can be enjoyed purel as entertainment, since everyone hates anything that might possibly educational. Thanks for the lovely write ladies. I hope you two will continue to collaborate in the future. This story was highly entertaining.
-
I've never forgiven Yemassee for persuading you two otherwise talented writers to lower yourself to his level. Shame on Yemassee and shame on you. I'd comment further but I have a biography of Walt Whitman to finish. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
-
Glad you liked! Yem was the inspiration, actually I started writing this story at his request
-
All I can say is wow....
I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me, it was better than Cats.
-
BTW guys...Orange Pudding has a contest that this would fit into...ummm, quite nicely.
storywrite.com/Contest/1086131 -
Oh I did, it is for Yem's contest, Yem's tricycle must be there
-
What contest??? We entered this in a contest??? Hey no one asked me!!!!!!
-
I love it when people enter stuff in contests that i've already read. I don't have to read the entry. It is a lazy man's dream! So guess what Mr. Stupid went and did...I read it again. Well it is just as funny and insane...and I have dreams of that heaving ample bosom, lol.
-
Oh no! We will not give away the secret of the shirts this early....
Mabe the stool story in a week or so... -
ooohoooooo!!!!!
CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHERE THEY GOT THAT TRANSLATION THINGIE SHIRT???? it would come so in handy for my shop
Anyways, I really liked reading this story, it made me giggle a little bit in fact
I'm looking forward to the story of this stool ha had acquired from the Italian Baker's wife
Maybe in there I get to know where those shirts come from
Very well written dear friend
Leander -
You know, other people have been mentioning film...
It was something that went through my mind, also, while reading this, hmmm....
I know a little about what I think the kind of film Bohb is speaking of...I watch a lot of Indies, lol...I do think that there is something here that really does lend itself to that...
seeing the subtitles and Oh, lots...I really do think this could be a short or some kind of Animated Short and w/the Academy Awards on this Sunday, it makes me think of what some really creative Indie like filmmaker might do w/this...who knows, an Academt Award in a few years, the Short films...well, watch if they show clips, I haven't seen any, I...hmmm...but, okay, I am thinking maybe seriously if someone knew someone who...etc...
I am so Tired and need to get off, but saw this again and well, babble, babble, but...yes, I wonder,
Mi Mi -
Hmmmm.....odd and bizzare...yet exceptionally creative in the imagery. This reads like a narrative of one of those quirky odd little film shorts that pop up in various film festivals -- the kind you really can't understand, but keep your attention.
Quite clever I think. -
Ahaha... This is cute I love the imagery you create..it's really very stunning. This would make a cute cartoon Great work, and keep writing
~Smidge~
-
Not really overcome by the story – This sort of thing happens all the time where I live - translating shirts is fun but already possible if you plug them into your laptop – flexible cloth screens are already available LOL – Albert.
-
You said it is finished then you say or is it. I hope that or is it is the right answer and that you will lengthen it out and give us more to read. It is really wonderful.
Damon D. Brewer -
I was directed here by the statement on Yemassee's page to come read it, now.
Lovely, what fun.
I want a translating T-shirt. I want it to translate femalespeak to malespeak, though. So I can say things like "Hi, how are you today? I just wanted to know what was going on with you, and thought it might be nice if I came over and said hi, so here I am. What's going on?" and it could translate for me: "I want you. Buy me a drink."
I love the multicultural wackiness of this story. Makes me grin.
-
excellent
this was nice. I liked it. Sorry I got booted and diodnt comment yesterday -
DelightfulTrikefullofMagicalFun!!!
I love this from poem to ending (or is it?)
Ooga-Ooga-Oooooooga!!!!!!!!!!!
Yes, this is Yemlike and Yem Likes it too and it made me smile and Oh, I loved the subtitles across the shirts and the Orange Hair and that Black Stuff (will the little boy drinking the black stuff be another story, lol, Oh, Moxie?!)
Truly, though, now this was so much fun and it made me smile
& I so enjoyed, I had printed it up and glad that I did, oh, yayayayayayayay!
Mari and Susan, you did it, you've captured the unique and fun and different and wonderful Imagination ala Yem and you've together made a wonderfully inventive and fun and um, International, lol story, I loved this so much and I needed this, this is so special and I hope maybe it is not the ending...
Oh and how the Trike got its name and the stool from the Italian Man and I, yes, it was like a ride on a fun and special Trike, as artis says and Susan, YAYAY! & Mariza, YAYAYAYA, too...
Oh, I think that it is a delight, a modern day Fairy Tale in a way, a funny strangely wonderful tale of a special Trike named almost Janet, but to Jane and why and how...
Oooga! (I Love those Oogas, lololol) This is special, and YEM SURE SEEMS HAPPY! (He really likes it, oh, yes and he should know, soooo...but, I love it anyway, on my own even without Yem's big Grin up there, but glad he did and Oh, It gave me grins and oohs and I kept loving those Translations and Okay, I LOVED IT AND I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD READ THIS!
(Did anyone put it in the Group Reading???)
Thank You, Susan and Mari...and Oh, I am so glad you were able to do this and did it and I am glad I printed it even before I read it, it's a keeper!
big hoorays and applause!!!
mi
-
Thanks again and here a forboth of you.
-
As you see, Susan isn't normal at all! She wrote most of this story and the shirt and au pair came from her head too
I'm glad you liked it Yem! -
i kept checking my own shirt for a translation of this very delightful tale of jane the wonder trike, I felt as if i was riding on the small platform on the back of the trike observing ewverything going on and tring to take it all in and digest it as fast as the trade and the tale.,..lo...good work..Artis
-
Enchanting
I loved the deal, each trading what he did not want for something he did. Perhaps the dark liquid was Brio.
The craziness was nicely couched in fine writing. The kitchen stool having its own story, the spray paint from arrested graffitists, all great details. Well done, ladies!!
-
>Sam giggles and doesn't know what to think of the two authors who created this delightful story. She ponders a bit and says,
" This could have been a cartoon short."
Seriously...this was awesome. I mean, a shirt that had subtitles. You better send in for a patten. A shirt that translates different languages....now that is worth millions.
THanks for leading me to this story. I needed a smile and a chuckle before reading the Word and seeking slumber. You two are a hoot...
S♥m
-
I loved this story!! Beautiful : )
Mari,
Oh what a great story!! I could really picture it in my mind. Oh the wonders of the translating shirts. Wouldn't that be handy to have. Nice background to compliment the Orange Haired Boy. Susan told me about this and I'm glad that I had a chance to read it. This did indeed brighten my day and made me giggle too!! What vivid images, nicely written, dear Mari. I love it! Hope you are doing well. Love you tons.
~ Kalen
-
I really liked this. I loved the fact of the translating shirts. I wish we had some of those in real life. I especially liked the bit about the au pair’s well endowed……..translating area. LOL Nicely done you two. It definitely got a good chuckle out of me.
~ John
-
But that is why you did trade! it was not Moxie, but a pour imitation of it and like bad Chinese food it just left you wanting the real thing. You may have the French au pair, I heard the lilttle boys family fired her after they returned from Paraguay and learned of the trike incident!
She is supposedly working for a Ukrainian diplomat and his wife in Bejing. Look her up.
Glad you liked it.
Susan -
My goodness this is SO Yemmish!!!! I swear you guys were in my head! It's wacky and yet it has a story that you just want to finish! I was reading away and thinking, "Did I write this?" lol. See, isn't it fun to just free yourself and start being odd? I know you guys had fun because it shows--I know the feeling when I crazy thought makes it to paper and I say to myself, "Darn that is cool!" Admit it, you did too!
No rules, subtitles materialize from no where, French Au Pair's with ample bosoms that explain what translating cannot!
I'm so proud of you guys and humbled, I really am. And hopefully you'll let me borrow that French Au Pair, I have some crazy ideas that could make some fun stories with her!
I also loved the Janet/Jane story and the orange hair...but one problem...I'd never trade Moxie for a tricycle...no matter how much I like trikes!
And of course the background is---well---Moxielicious!
You guys are the best...
Remove the "not finished yet"
Adding your comment:
1 - 27 of 27
