Purge.

I don't feel disgust anymore. I no longer see the ugly or the bad. I've forgotten what it feels like to be so high I can't feel anything. I've forgotten hate, pain, death. 1

These things I wish I could say in truth. I wish I could add meaning to these words, feel it running through the nerves in my flesh. Barricading whatever evil is filling my guts. I can't say these words without screaming "Lies!" I look in the mirror and I see it over and over again....2

Liar3

Liar

Liar

LIAR4

It sickens me. I can find no part of me that makes me throw up these feelings. I find them in me, around me, everything I touch or desire. It swallows me. 5

I am more than this...but am I better? Do I forsake things deserving better...thoughts? Is it my impulse to rip my insides out for you on a silver platter? 6

Am I good enough?

Why does it matter.
- It matters because this illusion of what knowing "who you are and why you're here" means to them. Am I justified in knowing both?7

Can I rip you apart?8

Show me your insides, I want to find beauty in the chaos. 9

Show me who you are. The blood of what you imagine as pain? Pathetic. 10

Destruction is key at this age. Vile enough to bring Hitler down himself. Maybe you can imagine something more foul, sickening or of more disgust. But it's only because we find ourselves in such a fucked world beyond our control. 11

Consent to me, my dear. 12

I can tell you now, I feel sick. My insides crawling with this plague unbeknownst to humans or hero's. I can tolerate nothing more than unfulfilled fantasies. If not, wellness does the trick. I suppose it's a matter of time before we cascade into something more direct than a chilly summer day. What we call a raunchy school boy sweater. Some, as in most, charge a fine morning with pollution and even discourage the green. If...my mind overcomes my body, what then? What's left of me?13

The fabrication that we live with is sickening. Why we are still able to move around with a world of lies on our shoulders is beyond me. I imagine, if we look deeper, we can find what we were meant to be. Human. If we find ourselves needing these material fucked things, we receive without questioning or resentment. We receive with pleasure. Almost...with more delight than we would with the gift of eternal life. 14

Let me devour you.15

Let me in this m a s q u e r a d e of a life. Let me live where you hide yourself from the world. If I could be that person for you, I'd feel as if...I was needed for more than your money market, planned life.
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