Waiting for You to Teach Me.

Normally I don’t blame people. Normally I can’t. NORMALLY this wouldn’t be a problem, but me being me and you being you… it’s a problem.1

They always tell me that they hate him that they want to shoot him and that they would if they had the chance, and half of me wants it done, half of me wants him to go away and never come back, but the other half loves him, the other half can’t live without him, the other half needs him to be there, even if it is just a hard fist colliding with my face. Its still contact.2

They’d be surprised of how much I need that contact, how much I need him to be there. Sometimes I really do hate him, but I get over it…. I always get over it.3

I’m not use to loving or being loved, but I pretend you care. I hope you care. Sometimes I have day dreams that you care, that when Frank was around that you would protect me, but then when I open my eyes and Frank’s there sitting next to me, pulling at my shirt, you just stand there, ignoring that he is doing that. You walk away like its not going to happen if you don’t see it. You might not see it, but I feel it. Every time, I feel it, I feel him up against me and you just walk away.4

When its over and he’s gone, for now, you come back and you yell at me for some incoherent reason, but I take it because I don’t know what else to do, but I like the contact, though it may hurt, I like it. I yearn for it.5

I watch as he hits you again and again and the hate fades. I try to interfere, but he just beats at me too, though it feels good in a way, that in stead of you, he’s beating me, in stead of your bruises, there mine.6

***7

Everyday it starts all over, he presses himself against me, you walk away, I cry for you to help me, I bleed, I surrender, you bleed, you surrender and he forces us to scream and whimper.8

I can’t call this life anymore… its just normal.9

I drink away my memory just the way you showed me, I smoke away the pain just the way you taught me, so here I am, half dead, yet still walking, waiting for you to teach me how to die.10

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Bramble-of-Knives
    October 25, 2008

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    Wow, the words totally flowed together strait through, I have ready alot of stories that have flawed parts in them where the words just don't go, but this was really good!


  • legnA-livE
    August 26, 2008
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    real gud!!!!


  • StarOfDreams23
    July 30, 2008
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    this rocked! I liked it a lot! very sad but it's great! sounds like a friend of mine.


    • Peewee90
      July 31, 2008
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      Thats bad if yu havea friend in the same situation... very bad and I'm sad to hear of it.

      But thank for reading.


  • EverRose
    July 29, 2008

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    Erg...

    Erg..well I like it Jesse, depressing. Sorry. I think it is very well written though and u did a great job.

  • jannin
    July 29, 2008

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    This is intense, and very well written. You really grab your reader with your first sentence, so that was definitely well done. The end paragraph is very good as well, and I like how... the reader never /quite/ knows what's going on, but there are enough images and feelings to get... that feeling, I guess. I am having trouble defining my own comment o.O'

    Point is, I liked. Keep up the nice work ^_^

    /jannin


    • Peewee90
      July 29, 2008
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      ha, Thanks. No worried I had trouble writing it so... I can see how you might have trouble reading it.


  • Asonine
    July 29, 2008

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    aw... Je ne sais pas vraiment même que dire, bien que j'espère vraiment vous le papa va en faisant de la randonnée ou somthing et tombe une falaise... Je l'attends vraiment effectivement, quant à votre frère... Je ne sais pas toujours, quelquefois je l'aime, d'autre temps...

    en tout cas, quant à Frankie, il peut aller le manche lui-même pour tout ce que je me soucie!

    Aimez-vous!

    Liberté

    • Peewee90
      July 29, 2008
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      Haha, oui, le merci pour la lecture, Kait.

      Vraiment, je veux qu'il tombe une falaise aswell, mais je ne sais pas comment cela va travailler ainsi... Je suppose que je suis coincé avec lui pour now.lol.

      Quant à Mike, oui ... il ne me parle pas ou regarde, je ne sais pas s'il est au courant de l'autre nuit, mais ... errr... Je ne sais plus.

      Et quant à Frankie... Je concorde ... s'il pourrait juste le manche lui-même, alors je serais très heureux pour son un achievment.lol.

      Merci.


  • Much-Dipstick
    July 28, 2008

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    ... Jesse... It's.. so true.. I can understand, even though I've never experienced it. It's like... can't explain it... wow, you have me stunned into silence.. It's just so deep and feeling... Your feelings come out in every word... it's just so powerful.

1 - 13 of 13