Shiny Pink Apples

Once upon a time in the kingdom in the clouds, there lived a beautiful princess. Hey hair was long and golden and fell close to her knees. On this particular day she wore a lavender gown tied around the waist with a splotchy multicolored scarf. 1

The princess liked to explore her kingdom, and try exciting new foods. The chef always inquired after her opinion in the kitchen and she was sought far and wide for her knowledge of the best ingredients to use for every dish and how they are best prepared.2

One day as the princess was traveling along the edge of her kingdom on the back of her favorite pony she came across a beautiful looking apple tree. The tree had soft green leaves laced with purple veins and shimmering gold bark. On its branches, which looked perfect for climbing, hung the most delicious looking plump, crunchy, pink apples she had ever seen.3

She slid off her pony’s back and made a pouch in the scarf around her waist to place the apples into. She filled her pouch with apples, finding them strangely light to carry, then she turned to climb from the tree. To her surprise her pony was being chased by a beautiful unicorn draped in strands of sweet scented flowers. 4

The inconvenience of the situation was immense, it was very important that she return immediately to her castle to test out the gatherings of her trip. She whistled loudly, hoping her pony would come to her immediately and clapped her hands together. Instead of her pony, the unicorn came and knelt by her, having chased her pony off, and rested his head in her lap.5

“Beautiful princess,” said the unicorn in a melodious voice, “I will take you on a spectacular adventure, if you give me just one apple in return.” 6

“You are a wretched creature,” the princess said unhappily to the unicorn and began to cry, “I don’t want another adventure today, I just want to go home. I just want my pony to come back.”7

The unicorn looked at her sadly and said, “But I am beautiful and most fine maidens would trade me for a silly pony in a heartbeat. In exchange for your tears I will take you on a journey with me.”8

“I don’t want to go on a journey,” replied the princess, “I want to go home and eat lunch.”9

“I will take you to a wonderful feast then,” replied the unicorn, “All I want from you in exchange is one of your pink apples.”10

The princess sighed in frustration; realizing this unicorn would never be reasonable, and gave him an apple, “Very well then, take me where you will.”11

At that she climbed upon the unicorns back and he stood and carried her through the clouds so swiftly that everything around them seemed to blur away. The princess watched this all in alarm, wondering where she was being taken. When they stopped at a rather sober and gloomy looking cave the unicorn shook her from his back and leapt away without a word.12

A dragon came from the cave, startled from its work by her loud crying, and sized her up quickly, “Well don’t you just look delicious. I could just eat you right up.”13

“Oh no!” said the princess in alarm, and having heard of the reputation of dragons to be extremely dense if you spoke bluntly enough to them finished, “Please at least take me inside and let me see your cave first so I might have a chance to escape.”14

“Very well then,” said the dragon and scooped her up in its fangs, “I’m sure my prince will be able to think of a splendid way to cook you up and make you even more delicious!”15

The princess was carried into a large and elegantly decorated cavern, filled with fine things and jewels. The dragon set her down in a small pen filled with sheep, as well as a handsome looking young man. The young man looked at her annoyed and grunted, “I expect you’re hoping for some knight in shining armor to came rescue you now? Well it isn’t happening, I’m the chef of this dragon and have been since I was captured as a young boy prince, I tell you there is no way out. I’ve seen plenty of princesses torn to pieces, and knights as well, and you unfortunately don’t look any better than the others so I have no inclination to advise you in any way.”16

“Well I’m a princess and I am very clever,” she replied, annoyed by his forwardness, “And I can get us out of here if you will be more polite. I have never required a ridiculous absurdity like a knight to get me out of my messes.”17

The dragon rolled its eyes having heard the same thing many times before and went and laid in her corner, far from them to have a nap while she waited for her meal to be fixed.18

“Ha!” scoffed the prince, “That is very presumptuous of you, if you try to escape you will simply be eaten more quickly.”19

“Have you no hope in you?” cried the princess as hot tears began to stream down her face, “I’m really very hungry and I just want to go home.”20

The prince simply glared at her in a very unkind way, “Hmmm, crying, what an excellent plan, I’m sure that will get us all right out of here.”21

Suddenly the princess stopped her tears, wiping off her face, and smiled brilliantly, looking more radiant than any princess the prince had ever seen in his entire career, or even previous, “I told you I would get us out of here, and now I have my plan.”22

“Oh really?” said the prince, taken back by her sudden change of moods.23

“Yes, we will make the dragon an apple pie!” she declared assuredly.24

“We haven’t any apples you fool, and how would that help us?” replied the prince, unconvinced of her logic, because assuredly he could see nonesuch.25

“I have magical apples, and I think if we mix them into a pie they might put the dragon to sleep for a time so we can escape, if we simply ask them to,” she replied, pulling the apples from her scarf.26

“Well, we may as well try,” said the prince shrugging, and hurrying to make the pie, thinking the princess quite mad, but if nothing else she was fairly decent entertainment and plenty nice looking to make up for it.27

The princess meanwhile began talking to the apples, asking them politely in little rhymes to be enchantingly delicious and put the dragon to sleep, and then began to peel them and cut them, placing them into the piecrust.28

The prince baked the pie, and pulled it out of the oven just as the dragon began to awaken. “Dragon!” cried the prince, “We’ve made you something delicious!”29

“Indeed? A pie!” cried the dragon, sniffing the air, “I just adore pie! What kind is it?”30

“Apple,” replied the princess, smiling sweetly.31

“Mmm! Delicious,” cried the dragon, taking the pie up into his mouth and swallowing it without much chewing, “I feel sleepy now though, so goodnight, have me something else when I wake up please.” The dragon fell asleep curled on the floor in the middle of the room and the princess smiled triumphantly.32

“See!” she cried, “I told you so!”33

The prince blinked in astonishment, “then lets go I guess.” The prince and princess ran out of the cave excitedly, the prince still confused and the princess simply overjoyed. Outside they found the princess’ pony waiting for them next to an apple tree full of the very shiniest pink apples they had ever seen and they picked as many as they could. 34

Then they climbed up onto the pony together and rode off into the sunset towards the princess’ castle. The next day they decided they loved each other because they both found the other to be completely unreasonable and odd. They got married that same afternoon and had many wonderful pink apple pies at their wedding. Many years later they still lived happily ever after, mostly because they always disagreed about everything and they thoroughly enjoyed the arguments. The princess never did excel at logic though, even if she did always end up being right somehow or another.35