You know, I have always wondered about the reasons that cause people do what they do. I wonder if they think it through. My father left me when I was 10. I still don’t fully understand why he did it. I used to think I did something wrong. That I was the cause of his departure. I remember the day he left too. Just like it was yesterday. 1
My clock flashed 5:30 in red when he came into my dark room. The windows were a pale periwinkle color, showing that a new day was arriving. I wasn’t asleep. I always had a habit of staying up late until the new day came. He looked at me with a look of sadness, like there was some kind of punishment he was paying for that made him regret his actions. He said these words to me: “I love you but I can’t stay here….”He kissed my forehead and left. I listened closely for the front door to open. I though it was a joke. I wanted to believe it was a joke. But when I heard the door open…..and shut…..Tears fell down my face. They didn’t stop. I cried silently...All alone…In the dark.2
That day, I lost my father, my friend, my joy, my faith, my smile, and….my will. My world had changed. And it hurt like hell. Everything I knew flew out the window and I was confused, hurt, and alone. I was closer to my father than my mom. How was a daddy’s girl supposed to rely on mommy? But she was there. And I never realized just how much Mom WAS there…Because I always saw daddy. And now…he was gone.3
Author notes
This is a true story.My story.It would mean a lot if you would read it,lol.Ooh,tell me if my grammar is correct,lol
Tell me if this seems as though you were there.Can you imagine it??
Comments
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I swear that nearly made me cry, and your grammar was excellant too. I really felt as if i was inside that girls head, it felt as if i was watching a motion picture.
Hope part two comes out soon.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Thank you!! I will do my best to get more out. My circumstances aren't the greatest but I'll try,lol.
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Touching
Really, it is. I can somewhat relate...(I can tell you more about that if you want to know; just send me a message.) The beginning was gripping, your characters believable, and your plot was stable. Overall, very good. I'm too critical when it comes to grammar, so, you might not want to ask me...or maybe you do...but, yours isn't bad at all. I think there's more to this story than what you have written. I would love to read the rest if there's more. Thanks for sharing.
--Genesis.
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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lol
Oh, I see, this is only part one...
--Genesis.
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