The Cereal Killer

In the quiet picturesque town of Eastbourne, there lies a mystery so dark and scary that none have ever plumbed the deepest depths of it. Local residents give blood-curdling accounts of what has apparently gone on.1

2

It all started in 1973, when the mayor of Eastbourne declared a ban on all cereals. Nobody knows why he did, just the fact remains that he did. Naturally, the local citizens were outraged by this new rule, none more so than the king's younger brother, who had lived there. Unfortunatly, he had been stripped of his powers, so he couldn't overturn this decision. Some say that the Kiong put the mayor up to it. They claim that the King wanted to get rid of his brother, that he was scared that his brother would try to assasinate him again.3

4

Slowly, the king's brother went mad, driven insane by his love of cereal. Eventually, he became a husk of what he once was, refusing food of any type, because he couldn't have the one food he desired- cereal. He would sit on his bed all day, slowly wasting away, not noticing anybody as he gazed unseeingly at the opposite wall, his eyes glazed5

6

finally, after several months, the King was informed of the change in his brother. He immediatly overturned the rule, but it was too late. His brother still didn't register anything, and he only stirred slightly if cereal was given to him.7

8

The notes were the only thing. To begin with, at any rate. Little threats, stuck to cereal packets of all the houses, street by street.9

10

Then came the dead cornflakes. Thrown on the floor and stamped on. Not that the notes stopped; the killing of the cereals was just a little extra, especially reserved for the families of the people who supported the mayor when he banned the cereal.11

12

The strange thing about these crimes was that whoever did this, whoever was going around systematically killing cereal seemed to have access to the building, as no windows were broken and no burgular alarms set off.13

14

The police were stupified. There seemed no logic explanation for these attacks; the only person who had any reason to do this was inder constant surveillance. Anyway, there was no way that he could travel from one end of town to the other in the dead of night in the condition he was in. Was there?15

Author notes

Related to something I did in school, but this has no logic to it whatsoever. It's not meant to make sense, so it doesn't. No, I wasn't reading all your directions, so I'm not going to put 'MANGO MANGO MANGO' in my authors notes, umm, yeah, so, you got me that time...

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • perfect paradox
    May 5

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    HAHA. I saw a shirt with THE CEREAL KILLER on it. Niice.

    I'm sorry but your story is a little too short for my contest. I'll have to DQ it. But, if you're willing to write more to it then re-enter then go right ahead!

    peace,

    .PP.


  • beezy92
    March 3

    Edit | Reply
    HAHA!! Don't mind me I just happen to hate cereal. Especially when there's only soy milk to drink with it. (: Loved it, very funny and creative. Some capitalization mistakes though. Thanks for sharing! (:

  • BurntUmber
    January 5
    Edit | Reply
    good job and good luck


  • XxXDreamWeaverXxX
    November 19, 2008

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    thankyou for entering my contest! you seem to have a scatterbrained writing type... I LIKE IT! siriously well done!


  • MidniteRockers
    October 20, 2008

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    Hehe

    This is a very funny, perculiar story. I like the title, funny really. I didn't find it had much describtion, but one heck of a lot of nonsense! But thats what I like about it. Few grammar mistakes, e.g. 'first' at the start of paragraph 7. And a few spelling mistakes, nothing too disturbing.
    Good luck!
    Lolly x

    • Elphinstone
      October 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      glad that you liked it. Nonsense is great fun to write about, whatever else is going on. I've also done a pamflet about pet Distances, which you might like, or might not. Elphinstone


  • Hellcat Metal
    September 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    LOL that was funny. Killing cereal? Yeah..random and funny. I liked this. Thanks for entering the contest!

    • Elphinstone
      September 3, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Again glad that you liked it. You might like my Ramblings of a pen.


  • Boondock Saint
    August 20, 2008

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    That was pretty funny since my sis (the girl in the pic) is in love with cereal and would go mad without it. I like the play on words...Cereal Killer. This would be really funny if you made it into a short story. I would read it lol. Thank you for entering.

    • Elphinstone
      August 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Glad that you liked it

      I wrote it from a memory of a grammer lesson, where I linked everything to cereal, then we had to write something with perfect grammer, and a friend at school called me the cereal killer, because I murdered lots of cornflakes. But yeah, it was pretty random, but glad that you likeed it


  • EphemeralStyle
    July 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Lmao!! This is absolutely hilarious I love the line, 'driven insane by his love of cereal.' You're right, I don't think there's any logic in this at all, but it's a very amusing read. ^^ This is the sort of story that I used to dream about all the time, but lately my dreams have become very serious >.> Great work!

    Eph

    • Elphinstone
      August 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      glad that you like it

      Very glad that you like it. I'm working on another random one about milk particles, while I'm not working on the moonlight warriors. Hoping that it will eb up soon

  • condor
    July 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    I found this quite amusing. You certainly do have a vivid imagination. Keep going.

    beginning: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, characters: 5.

    • Elphinstone
      August 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Im glad that you enjoyed it. There will eb another one up soon, when Ive finished writing it, about milk particles

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