The Atlantic Via Bathtub CH 20

Eight months later, in a small but comfortable house in the country. Three people sat around a table out side, watching the sun slowly rise over the horizon, well they enjoyed their breakfast.1

'Hmm, listen to this,' said Douglas Rendrige, staring at the newspaper in front of him. ' "Two weeks ago, infamous villain; Sir Eric "Dragon Lagson, escaped from the prison in which he was being held, well awaiting trial for murder, theft, assault, attacking members of government," etc, "Authorities are confident that he won't get far, and feel it is only a matter of days before they catch him again." ' Douglas looked up from the newspaper at Mary and John. 'Hope they catch him again, he seemed rather a nasty specimen.'2

'I wonder if Pete'll be alright. I know Sir Eric wanted Pete bathtub something bad,' said John, a note of concern in his voice.3

'Don't worry dear, I'm sure Mr. Hayward can take care of himself,' said Mary in a reassuring manner.4

John nodded, 'Yeah, I'm sure he will be,' but still he didn't sound convinced.5

Douglas folded up the paper, and said, 'Say John, how do you like the sound of learning to ride horses.'6

John's face lit up, forgetting all about Sir Eric as he said enthusiastically, 'Really? I'd love to!'7

Douglas eyes crinkled in a smile. 'Well, as soon as breakfast is over, and you've helped your mother with the dishes, we'll go.'8

'Ok!' John dug into his food with gusto, riding horses was something he'd always wanted to do, but hadn't been able to make in England.9

Mary laughed cheerfully, glad to see John settling in well to their new home.10

That night, in a port somewhere on the east coast of America, a figure crept stealthily through the shadows. The figure stopped behind a crate, near the bow of a ship, a ship with the name Le Charlotte just visible on the side.11

After looking around, and checking no one was in sight, the figure grabbed hold of the mooring rope, and shimmied up it, into Le Charlotte.12

An hour later, four more figures could be seen, and heard approaching Le Charlotte.13

'So this passenger comes up to me, and he says, "Has this ship ever sunk before?" So I said, "Yes, every couple of weeks or so, we just raise her up and start again.'14

The four figures all burst into laughter.15

'Zum people azk zee ztrangezt queztionz,' commented a short fat figure, after the laughter had died down.16

'Aye. I've heard worse, but not many,' said another figure, medium height with grey hair and a beard.17

'Heh, well, I don't think that person will be comin' back to us again for goin' places,' snickered the man who'd told the story.18

'Methinks you are very bad for business Charles,' commented the tallest member of the group.19

'Me? Bad for business? My dear Ericsson, I am never bad for business.' replied Charles.20

Ericsson rolled his eyes. 'Yeah, sure. I think we'll get a poll on that. All who think Charles's bad for business, raise you right hand.'21

Three hands instantly shot into the air.22

'Gee, well you guys just suck,' muttered Charles darkly.23

The other three burst into laughter again.24

Charles raised his hands to the sky, and giving and exasperated sigh, strode to the awaiting Le Charlotte, and stormed up the gangway, leaving other three figures by themselves.25

'Well, don't think he much liked the thought of not being good at something,' Laughed the medium one.26

'Wouldn't surprise me the slightest, Pete,' Ericsson said.27

Pete yawned. 'Well, I really must hit the sack now, and I'd advise you two to do likewise, it'll be a long day tomorrow. What with the President of America using our humble little tub to travel to England for a conference.'28

'Heh. Yes, I heard that they are sending about a dozen people to check over the ship, and make sure everything it tip top,' said Ericsson.29

Baldwin frowned at this. 'Zey not zink I get zee crew to do a good enough job eh? Vell, tomorrow zey vill find out zat Baldwin Von Lecterstien leavez no crumb unturned!'30

'Aye, that be good Baldwin, you show 'em who's boss,' said Pete, as he turned and wandered up the gangway and to his cabin.31

Ericsson and Baldwin followed close behind him. Both feeling a tad sleepy, could have had something to do with the amount of beers they had consumed, or how much wine, in Baldwin's case.32

Next morning was dull and grey, clouds blotting the sun, and leaving everything less then cheerful for the ensuing inspection of Le Charlotte.33

Baldwin stood glowering at the hoards of men and women who were boarding to make sure he, he Baldwin Von Lecterstien, son of Baldwon Von Lecterstien, the greatest cleaner in all of Germany, had done a decent job of cleaning!34

One of the inspectors, obviously the leader by his cocky walk, walked up to Baldwin and said in his strong American accent, 'Here you! I want to see the man in charge of cleaning this boat.'35

Baldwin glared at him and replied, 'I am afraid zat vill be impozzible.'36

'What do you mean, impossible? The captain told me he'd be here,' snapped the man, clearly growing impatient with Baldwin. 37

'He doez not viz to be dizturbed by brain dead cleanerz, zoze ver hiz wordz,' Baldwin told him simply.38

'Oh, doesn't he now? Well, we'll see about that!' so saying he turned and stalked off in search of the captain, to get his authority.39

Baldwin smiled inwardly to himself, they'd all regret the day they doubted his cleaning skills.40

Two minutes later, Pete arrived, with the cleaner in tow.41

'Ah Baldwin, this is Bob Smith, he's the chief cleaner around these parts. He was telling me that some pompous Swedish git around here was telling him that you didn't want to see him. I couldn't imagine who'd do a think like that, can you?' said Pete threateningly, this was going to be a long day already, and he didn't need Baldwin and Bob on each others throats all day.42

'German,' muttered Baldwin under his breath, before saying, 'I'm zure I have no idea who could have zaid zuch a zing. I vill zeriouzly reprimand zem.'43

'But you're the man who said that!' exclaimed Bob.44

Baldwin rose to his full height, which came to just below Bob Smith's nose, and snapped, 'How dare you inzult my good name! I never zaid zuch a zing.'45

Bob Smith glared down at him, and just opened his mouth to snap a reply, when Pete lay a hand on his arm, 'It ain't worth it mate. Just do your job, and get off my ship.'46

Bob turned his glare to Pete, then shaking of Pete's hand, strode haughtily off to find every speck of dust left on Le Charlotte.47

Pete turned to Baldwin, 'Try not to upset them to much, or they'll stay even longer.'48

Baldwin nodded curtly, and waddled off after the cleaners, to keep an eye on them, make sure they didn't break anything.49

Come mid-afternoon, the ship had been gone over twice, and not a single speck of dust had been found, except by Baldwin, when Bob Smith had opened his cleaning bag, Baldwin had pointed out how dirty it was. That didn't go down well.50

So now the cleaning crew filed off Le Charlotte, rather disappointed that they hadn't found anything out of place, and it'd all been a waste of a miserable day that they could have spent in the pub.51

Baldwin stood at the top of the gangplank, a satisfied smile on his face as he watched them leave. Last to leave was Bob Smith, who on reaching Baldwin, hissed, 'You may have one the battle, but you haven't one the war!' He laughed maniacally and ran off the ship, leaving a slightly confused Baldwin behind.52

'Have fun tormenting them Baldwin?'53

Baldwin turned to see Charles standing behind him. 'Az a matter of fact, I did.'54

'Ah good, I'd hate to think that you'd wasted a most of a day trailing after a bunch of cleaners, who wouldn't be able to spot a spot if you put their nose on it.'55

'I am avare that you ver ahead of uz zprinkling duzt on zelected itemz. I vaz mozt amuzed zat zey did not zpot any of it. I cleaned it up after zey ver gone,' Baldwin told him.56

Charles face dropped slightly at finding out that he hadn't out dusted Baldwin. 'You really are as good as you say you are, aren't you?'57

'Of courze I am,' snapped Baldwin.58

'Yes, yes, of course,' said Charles, 'Pete wants to see us.'59

'I vunder vhy?' said Baldwin dryly.60

They departed the gangway, and made their way to the bridge, where Pete was bound to be.61

On arriving there, Pete said, 'President arrives at three o'clock.'62

'Ok, everything is ready for his Unroyal Highness,' said Charles cheerfully.63

'Good. There was a list of etiquette to follow well we're around him, but I lost that,' Pete said without much care in his tone.64

'I see.'65

'So just play nice, if we do a good job at this, there might be something shiny in it for us,' said Pete, winking.66

'Oooo, shiny. Shiny is good.' Charles grinned.67

'Yeah, so just remember, no scaring anyone, and don't tell them the story about your past, my past, or Captain Emo and his black SSMBT.'68

'Aww, why not Captain Emo?' asked Charles looking crestfallen.69

' 'Cause that would probably scare them, or get them depressed. Like the last person you told it to'70

'Hey! He was a suicidal case anyway!' said Charles defensibly.71

'Yeah. Sure. Just don't go telling anyone else on my ship again.'72

'Alright, alright.' Charles pouted a moment, before having another idea, 'What abou–'73

'No stories!' snapped Pete.74

3:00 PM arrived, and so did the President. Followed by a long stream of steam powered vehicles.75

The vehicle with the President in it stopped at the foot of the gangplank, and two people dashed out of the vehicle in front, carrying a roll of red material. They ran up the gangplank, and laying the material on the ground, let it unroll, it bounced down the gangplank and came to a halt at the door of the Presidential vehicle.76

Someone else got out of the vehicle behind it, and dashed forward to open the door for the President77

Pete, Charles, Baldwin and Ericsson all stood at the top of the gangplank watching the ceremony with somewhat amused looks.78

The President stepped out of the vehicle and stood up, he was a big man, about as wide round the stomach as he was tall, he had a big bushy walrus moustache, a huge nose, small ears, and beady little eyes, almost hidden below the bushiest eyebrows Pete had ever seen.79

The President strode up the gangplank and onto Le Charlotte, Pete was sure he felt the ship sink slightly lower.80

The little man who had opened the door for the President ran up behind him, and stepping around him, came to a halt in front of Pete. Turning, he said, 'Mr. President, I would like to introduce the captain of Le Charlotte, Peter C. Hayward. His first mate, Charles Pigeon. His head of staff, Baldwin Von Lecterstien. And his second mate, Ericsson Lagson.'81

Each gave a little wave and nod as they were introduced.82

'And this gentlemen, is Mr. President, President of the United States of America,' said the little man majestically.83

The President leant forward and putting a hand by the side of his mouth whispered to the crew of Le Charlotte, 'Ya'll can call me Franky, just don't let Matthew–' he jerked his head in the direction of the little man– 'know.' Leaning back he said in a big booming voice. 'Thank you gentlemen, for having me on this lovely ship of yours.84

'The pleasure is all ours Mr. President,' replied Pete. 'Allow me to give you a tour of Le Charlotte.'85

Matthew's eyes bulged at Pete's suggestion.86

'Sure, sounds like a great idea,' said the President, 'I'd love to see this bathtub of yours I've heard so much about.'87

Pete's eyes narrowed, 'I'm afraid that is not possible Mr. President,' he said stiffly.88

'How dare you speak to the President of America like that! He can see anything he wishes, it is not up to you to–'89

'It's not here,' growled Pete.90

'–tell the President what he... What?'91

'I said: It. Is. Not. Here.'92

The President guffawed, and scruffing Matthew's hair said, 'Don't be to put off Matthew, I'm sure one day someone will, in out right rebellion to me, say I can't see something which is right in front of me.'93

Matthew glared at Pete and brushed his hair straight. 'Well next time say so earlier.'94

Pete rolled his eyes. 'The tour Mr. President?'95

'Yeah sure, lead the way!'96

The tour over, they left the President in his quarters, and prepared Le Charlotte for sailing.97

'President's a nice chap don't you think?' Charles asked as leant against the wall of bridge and watched the crew hauling in the gangplank and casting off.98

'Aye. Matthew a bit jumpy though. Rather like Hexter. But without the fight skills I should think,' said Pete, as he stood by the wheel, waiting for the crew to finish casting off.99

'Heh, I can just imagine what conversation will be like if Matthew is around for all of them. "I say that..." "Shut up! You can't say that to the President!" "Matthew, calm down." ' said Charles, giving a demonstration.100

'Hah! Yes, probably,' replied Pete.101

The crew finished casting off, so Pete ordered power to the engine, and between him and the two tugs, he guided the large ship out of the port.102

The ship was just leaving the port when the President strode onto the bridge, he ducked behind a cabinet, and hissed, 'I'm not here.'103

Pete looked at him puzzled a moment, before it all became clear.104

Matthew barrelled onto the bridge, 'Have you seen the President?' he snapped, 'He's gone missing, I fear he may have fallen overboard.'105

Everyone on the bridge just shook their heads, and Pete said, 'No sorry, haven't seen him since we left him a few minutes ago. I do hope he hasn't fallen overboard.'106

Matthew frowned, and charged off the bridge, muttering something about useless bunch of crew.107

After he was long gone, the President stood up, and dusted himself off. 'Phew, that was a close call!' he said, 'Thanks for not saying anythin'.'108

Pete laughed, 'Not a problem.'109

The President wandered over to stand next to Pete. 'I don't know why I ran for presidency, it's so noisy, people always rushing around, trying to make sure no one kills me. Gets very trying.'110

'Aye, I can imagine. I think I'll stick with bein' a captain. Doesn't solve the people trying to kill you bit.' He shot a glare in Charles direction, who just looked innocent.111

'I...I don't suppose you'd let me have a go at driving your ship?' asked the President half timidly.112

'I don't see how I can say no,' replied Pete as he stood aside, well still holding the wheel with one hand.113

The President stepped over to the wheel, and took it, a smile playing over his face. 'Well, this ship is not American property, and soon we'll be into international waters, and I have no say in what you do.'114

'Hmm, true that.'115

'So what's it like roam the oceans, with no country to run, just you, your crew, and the ship?' asked the President, curiously, the idea sounding rather romantic to him.116

Pete laughed. 'Free. I would defiantly have to go with it feeling free, Mr. President.'117

'Oh please, I thought I told you to call me Franky. Mr. President gets so tiring, I do like to think I have a real name, and it's nice to have people reminding me of the fact.'118

'Heh, I can see what you mean, Franky. Turn the wheel a quarter turn starboard,' Pete told him.119

Without a moments hesitation, Franky spun the wheel right.120

'Very good, most people can't remember which is which,' said Pete, impressed.121

Franky grinned, 'Yea, I've always been fascinated with boats, and learn as much about them as I can.'122

'Ok. Hold the wheel there, till we are facing due east,' Pete said, pointing at the compass in front of the wheel.123

'Aye, aye cap'n!' said Franky, the President of America, he spun the wheel back landing them heading due east.124

'Very smooth. Most people on their first try to swing the wheel back till it hits the direct we are goin' in.'125

'Read it in a book. You want the wheel back?'126

'Only if you're getting tired of steering. I'm happy with watching, it's not like it's a complicated course or anything,' said Pete.127

'Ok then.'128

An hour later, Matthew charged back onto the bridge, and stopped short, his mouth opening and shutting a few times, 'What are you doing here? I've been looking all over the ship for you! I thought we'd thought you'd fallen overboard!'129

Franky looked at Pete with a; it-was-good-well-it-lasted look, 'Well, I guess the fun is over.'130

'Well, you are just in time Matthew, we are going to serve dinner soon, so if you take Mr. President back to get cleaned, and head to the dinning room, we'll join you as soon as we can.'131

Not waiting for Matthew, the President barrelled out of the room. 'Come on Matthew, lots to do, lots do to!' he called as he strode down the passage way.132

Shortly later they all sat around the dinning table, in the captains private quarters. Not that they needed to get away from other passengers, as there were none. The President was paying them the for all the passengers they did not have, to make the trip worthwhile for them. But the captains private dinning room was nicer then the main dinning room.133

'How long have you captained this ship?' asked Matthew, 'I heard that it had a previous captain, Doupree, who seems to have drifted off the map.'134

'Been captain for about eight months I think. Yeah, Doupree was the previous captain, I knew him well. After I came took over ownership, he just disappeared, haven't heard from him since,' said Pete, lying.135

'Indeed. I heard that Doupree was murdered, you know anything of that?' asked Matthew pointedly.136

Pete's lips turned down in a frown as he said, 'If Doupree got murdered, he probably deserved it.'137

'Oh really? I thought you just said you knew him well? Yet now you say he would have deserved it?' Matthew said, thinking he'd trapped Pete into confessing something.138

Pete raised an eyebrow. 'I said I knew him well, which means I knew what he was like. Doesn't mean I was good friends with him,' he said icily.139

'Ah-hah! So you think he was a criminal–'140

'Matthew! Do you think we could have one meal with out you either insulting, or interrogating our host?' snapped the President.141

Matthew opened his mouth to retort, but realised just who had spoken, so his mouth slammed shut. 'Sorry Mr. President,' he muttered.142

'That's better. Now, let's see if we can all have a nice friendly conversation.'143

Said conversation got four sentences before it was interrupted. By a figure dressed in black, and covered from head to foot in dirt, and grim. In his hands was a machine gun. 'To long have a waited for this moment! But no longer! Bootle is mine! And you will give it to me, or I will kill your precious President!' screamed the deranged figure who anyone reading the previous chapters will probably realise was Sir Eric "Dragon" (though no one knows why) Lagson.144

Pete put his head in his hands and groaned, 'Not again...'145

'Who is this man? How dare he interrupt our meal?' yelled an equally deranged Matthew.146

'Oh shut up everyone!' roared Pete, his anger snapping. 'You–' he pointed an accusing finger at Sir Eric– 'You can have Bootle, but before I tell you were she is, you're going to have to fight me for her!'147

'I'll kill the President if you don't tell me now,' shouted Sir Eric, going for the same ol' ploy.148

'You have my conditions, they are the only ones I am giving,' Pete's voice was low and threatening, clearly saying there was no two ways about this.149

Sir Eric hesitated a moment. 'Alright then, a fight, first one to die loses.'150

'No guns,' said the President, his eyes glowing at the thought of witnessing a duel to the death.151

'Fine, no guns.' Sir Eric dropped the gun he'd been carrying. 'It was empty anyway.'152

Pete shoved his chair back, and advanced on Sir Eric.153

They both crouched into an attack postion, and circled each other.154

Sir Eric leapt, fist launching out at unbelievable speed.155

Pete ducked, grabbing Sir Eric's wrist as it flew overhead, he left hand shot out hitting Sir Eric in the stomach, using the momentum he swung Sir Eric over his head.156

But Sir Eric wasn't beaten, he swung his legs down and landed lightly on his feet and swung to face Pete again.157

Now they were both aware of just how well each other could fight.158

Pete charged at Sir Eric, his right fist flying.159

Sir Eric side stepped the fist, and was about to return the punch, when Pete pulled a new move. He brought his hand around in a slicing motion and caught Sir Eric on the side of the head, knocking him over.160

Sir Eric rolled and was up again, launching himself at Pete. He slammed into Pete's waist and bore him to the ground.161

Pete's head smacked hard into the ground, almost going through the glass door which lead to out side. Stars flew around his head, as he tried hard to focus on the mountain on top of him, slowly choking him.162

With the upper hand now his, Sir Eric allowed himself a smile.163

But to soon.164

Pete's senses came back in a flood, instead of grabbing Sir Eric's hands, to stop him from choking him. Pete gabbed his shoulders, and summing all his draining strength, brought his legs up, slamming into Sir Eric, and with a grunt, sending the stunned man over his head.165

Sir Eric sailed through the door, sending glass showering over everything. He landed on his feet, but as he staggered back to try keep his balance, he hit the railing. A look of pure horror froze his face, as he tipped backwards, and fell.166

Pete clambered to his feet, and stumbled over to the railing and stared over. He winced at the sight. Fatigue caught up with him, and he collapsed into a heap on the deck.167

Charles rushed over. 'You alright?' he asked, slight concern on his voice.168

'Yeah, I'll be fine. Sir Eric, however, will not be,' he smiled wryly.169

Charles looked over the railing. 'Ooo, I don't think he'll be doing much anymore.'170

'Yeah, I think it's safe to say that he won't be after Bootle anymore.'171

Charles snickered, and helped Pete to his feet. 'Come on, dinner is waiting, Franky was most impressed with your fighting skills, has a job offer for you.'172

'Indeed. Well, we shall see about that,' said Pete as they limped back to the table.