Big tam sat on the sofa staring at he sublime shape facing him as he wrestled with the still quiet voice in his head.1
He knew that he'd had just a litle too much to drink earlier in the day, but what the hell it was the week-end.2
Talk about shapely,and what about the colour,honey blond, he simply could not ignore it.3
For an hour he wrestled with his concience, either reach towards this vision of lovliness and carress it, run his hands over the curves that presented themselves to him, or turn and walk through the door.4
The doctors had warned him for a number of years now that if he ignored their advice, and continued his relationship with the love of his life he would be dead within six months.5
He sat long into the night wrestling with himself, do i continue my relationship with the love of my life and perhaps cash my chips in, or do i give way to my basic needs?6
Finally getting to his feet he walked slowly towards the thing that had captivated him all those years.7
He reached out for the love of his life, his lips were parted as he ran his tounge over them, his breath was coming in short sharp bursts as he reached for the bottle of malt whiskey.8
He knew that this was a forbidden love, if it killed him so be it.9
Pouring a large measure he raised it in salute, then taking a deep breath he opened his mouth and drank deeply.
Author notes
I'm not an alcoholic.
A contest entry
- Forbidden Love by Frozen Angel.
350 points, ended December 8, 2008, 56 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Be honest
Comments
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I like this...as I am Irish and a big drinker Myself...as well as coming from a long line of big drinkers... I can certainly relate to the love interest you write about here.
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Hi TNT, thanks for your comment on honey blond, i'm part irish on my grandads side, but love my malt whiskey.
all the best.
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Honesty? I don't think true honesty exists in our modern world these days...However, for your sake I will be honest.
And the judging begins...
First off, I want to say I love that this story is about a soon to be alcoholic. Not that I am one (it's illegal at my age and I would kill myself if I intentially got myself drunk). Don't stare at me. It's just a weird fascination I have. I also like how the character is dying and giving heartbreak to his lover. It is just the type of story I enjoy. Nevermind that. My favorite part has to be the ending. It's sad and makes you want to be able to save the man, but the way you cut it off right there is very profound. I like it.
The only suggestion I would have is to explain the situation a little clearer and maybe thicken the plotline a little bit.
What exactly is he dying from? What did the doctors have to say? How did the lover react? Stuff like that.
It was a good story nonetheless. Thank you for entering my contest.
*Frozen Angel* -
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Thank you very much for your honest appraisial Frozen Angel.
Just to cover the two points you made.
He was dying from alchahol poisoning.
His lover reacted like a good malt whiskey should, by giving him pleasure.
Hope this makes it a little clearer.
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