When I was little, my parents got devoriced. I was to young to understand, but as far as I knew, they wern't having any problems.1
I was wrong, but you cant blame me, I thoght I was going to be a mermaid when I grew up. Anyway, my mom was beautiful and sweet with an awesome personality and amazing blue eyes. My dad was the lady's killer at school with the leather jacket. They were meant to be. 2
They met while my mom was a waitress for my dads family resturant, and I guess they fell in love.3
Well one thing leads to another and they got married and had me. They got a cozzy house in the suberbs and started a life as a family. Mom with the Suberban, dad with the Mercadies, and a cute little chocolate lab. Sounds perfect right? Apparently, behind the happy house, and the good job, lived anger and hatred.4
They had a pure hatred for each other. They fought and fought, and dad finally left my mom, and she got depressed and there I am. I'm in my little private school uniform, and my stuffed animal, confused, wondering why daddy dosn't live at home, and why mom is always crying.5
When they devoriced I didnt cry, I didnt know. My mom felt alone, is what she told me when her new boyfriend came home with her from a bar she went to, while I was with my dad in the vally. (he moved after the devorice)6
His name was Chris, and oh how I hated him. When I walked through the door, he was eating my Cheeto Puffs. 'How dare he!' I thought.7
Well, he moved in after three days. My mom asked me thousands of times if I liked him, and I lied. I didn't want to see my mom hurt.
He was a sponge of good for nothing ass, and I hated him.8
My mom was so wraped up in his looks and his freckles, and she was so oblivious of all the crap he would put us through. I love my mom, but she's terrible when it comes to men.9
Chris was so mean; when I was in soccer, I was about six years old, and we won a tournament. I was so proud, I had my little trophy. and I was walking around with my chin held high. I set the trophy on the counter and watched my mom cook dinner. When my mom wasn't looking, Chris pushed it off the counter. I was pissed, and I cryed and cryed. He was so mean and unsensitive, but my mom didn't believe me when I told her. She thought he was so nice, so sensitive, and caring.10
She was wrong, so wrong.
Sorry if it is sloppy, but please put that aside to read the story for what it really is
Comments
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Okay Cali. I re-edited it. Your welcome! It's nice and readable! And I have to say, it is quite a nice story. In Kayla's poem for Becca, I'm the geek! Lol. That hurts Kayla...lol
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Cali... was that true about Chris? The man who you said we had to be on a higher level of friendship for me to know the story? If so... that is so sad...
I convinced Kayla to get on this website. She is known as Kayla-wa
I think she was making fun of me. You know Kira-SAN? She added the little horrofix at the end... even though it really isn't one....
beginning: 5, language: 1, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 1, characters: 5.
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It's okay
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Okay
It was a good story, but there a few things you need to work on. First of all, punctuation. And, the dialogue. It gets a bit confusing, especially at the end. It would help a lot if you proofread after you write. I would suggest proofreading after you submit too, as that has helped me a lot. But these are just suggestions. -
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Sorry I didn't have time to finish it. I had to go to bed, again, sorry.
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Oh okay.
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Now you can read.
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Like it.
Okay. Yeah. I like it! Er. sorry, I didn't realize that you had to go to bed.
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