Love for Never

"How in the world does Mr. Schrank expect us to answer these problems?" Janice sighs, dropping her pen on her trigenometry worksheet.1

"Girl, he can't even answer them himself. That's why he never gives us honest grades. Hmmm!" her best friend, Noel, comments in a sassy kind of way. 2

Janice cracks up, like she's done for at least that past several hours she and Noel have been attempting to do their homework. They're both at Janice's house in her family room, the time now rounding a quarter after six. After sharing her full time of cracking up, Janice sighs again and looks at Noel. Dimple-bound face, long nuzzle-worthy nose, warm gaze-worthy eyes, and soft medium-length wavy brown hair that kind of touches his shoulder. Sufficed as it is to say, Janice sorta had a crush on him ever since freshman year. Well, actually, it was really when she heard him sing with his guitar in the Christmas talent show. Yeah, that's when she really fell lovey dovey with him. But since then they'd just remained friend---really because, she hadn't the guts to confess her feelings to him. Or maybe it was because she wasn't so sure about her feelings. She didn't know.3

But now, as Janice gazes at Noel, who is oblivious to it all, he seems cuter to her than he was yesterday. Heck, he's cuter than he was a minute ago. Janice feels like sighing dramatically, and thus, does. "You know, Janice, you have amazing eyes," Noel says to her, or at least she imagines it.4

"I do?" she says in her fantasy, blushing.5

"Yes," he says, with that cute moan that always trails at the end of his very speech. "I like them soo much, I wrote a song about them."6

"You did???" Janice asks dreamily, hearts appearing in her eyes. "Sing for me, Noel. SIIIINNNNGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!"7

"Janice. Janice?" 8

Janice snaps out of her fantasy, shaking her head. "Yes, Noel?" she asks, and doesn't realize until after a second that her voice was all high pitched. "I mean..." she clears her voice, "sorry, what?"9

"Oh I'm just saying that there's no point of doing this summer worksheet since he won't even remember. Besides, he's too busy reading those porno magazines that he won't even notice."10

"I know, right?" Janice says, chuckling again. That's another thing she liked about Noel. He understood her in a way no one else understood her. Janice starts putting her books away into her backpack, and pouts. "Well, only one more day and we're officially seniors, well at least for another two months."11

"Yep," Noel says, silencing down a bit.12

This is my chance, Janice thinks. This is my chance to tell him how I really feel. Janice studies their position on the couch. They were only half an inch apart from each other and their hands were this close to being interlocked. Noel probably notices it too, because she notices him shifting a bit. Janice opens her mouth to say something, but then notices Noel getting up from the couch. 13

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Janice," he says, already heading towards the door.14

"Wait!! Don't you want to stay for dinner? My mom's making an all-time family special: pasta with peppered roast beef."15

Noel scratches his head, in a TOTALLY hot way. "Oh, I already promised my dad I'd have dinner with him and his girlfriend. I think I'm already 10 minutes late."16

"Oh..." Janice says, lowering her head. Noel grins, and surprisingly, goes to her and rubs the top of her head full of wild dark curls, like a little kid. "Aww...don't worry. I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Like always."17

That makes Janice blush. Then Noel leaves the house. Janice feels like happy dancing. So as it is self-explained, she does.18

* * * * * *19

A horn is triggered, making St. Xavier High students cheer with excitement. They know when the horn is activated, it means it's officially the end of school, and thus, the beginning of summer. Janice waves goodbye to her other close friends, whom were headed to who knows where without her. She paces among the crowd of students flooding the lot, looking for Noel, but can't see him. Suddenly, she feels someone grab a hold of her wrist. She turns around, amazed to see that it was Noel.20

"Hey," Janice says, like no one else is around them.21

"Hey, um, Janice, I need to talk to you about something..."22

"Sure! Wha---"23

"...in private," he interrupts her and then softens. "Can we go over to your house?"24

"I don't see why not," Janice says, peering over the heads of the St. Xavier student body. She feels excited, emphasizing her joy over 'in private'. Could this be the moment where he confesses that after all this time, he had feelings for her, too? "But I have no clue how we're going to get out of here."25

"Oh. No problem," he grins with conspiracty to her. "I know a route we can take."26

Janice is slightly confused. "Noel, are you kidd---"27

"Shh, just follow my lead."28

After a series of highly contemplated ducks here, jumps there, sprints here and there, they finally escape the mass of people. Janice, who seems to be in a flurry of ecstasy an excitement, looks at Noel. "Wanna race me towards my house?"29

"You know it."30

Soon they arrive outside Janice's house, attempting to catch their breaths (and designated heart beat rates). "Let's go to the backyard," Janice suggests after fully catching her breath.31

As soon as they reach the backyard, they both collapse on the grassy floor, laughing like they forgot what that matter was in the first place. And they do, until Noel helps Janice up from the floor.32

This is it; this is it; this is it!!! The words keep repeating in her head. "Ok. Well, I've got something really important to tell you and---"33

"Okay...but let me go first. I think this is really important."34

Janice doesn't hesitate, already ready to pucker her lips for when he leans in to kiss her after confessing.35

Noel clears his throat. "Okay. Janice, you're my best friend. I can trust you right?"36

"Sure..." Janice shrugs, a bit confused.37

Noel takes a deep breath. "Well, ever since freshman year, I've been kind of having these weird feelings, these feelings I can't totally explain, even to myself. I kept trying to fight them, to resist them...but it's impossible. And I wasn't sure of this until yesterday..."38

Janice's heart beats so loudly, it could practically be heard by the public's auditory nerves.39

"Janice...just to sum it all up, I think I'm..."40

'In love with you', Janice imagines him saying, and then all the angels in heaven will be singing 'Alleluia'. But instead he says, in real life:41

"...gay."42

* * * * *43

Janice's heart drops, and so does her brain and everything else that functions around her body. She squints, as if she hadn't heard him correctly. But in fact, she did. It takes a while for her to process it all in.44

"Janice?" Noel asks, tilting his head at an angle. 45

"You think you're...gay?" Janice asks, trying to keep her cool.46

Noel simply nods, as if that's suffice to say. "I hope you understand..."47

Janice nods ferociously. "Of course!! Have you ever told anyone about this?"48

Noel shakes his head. "I figured you'd be the first one I'd tell."49

"Oh..." Janice scratches her head, grinning. "Well, you know you don't have to hide anything from me, Noel. We're friends, remember that."50

Noel nods, grinning too. "Sure. Thanks for understanding." Then he changes the subject, like nothing like drama crisis happened. "Oh yeah, the Zulu Warrior marathon's starting now, isn't it?"51

"Well, duh!! I've got it on Autotune," Janice rolls her eyes and laughs, trying to remain her optimism.52

"I'll race you to it."53

"Um...no, it's okay. You go on it without me, I'll come in in a sec."54

"Are you sure?" Noel asks, almost too sincerely.55

"Yeah."56

Noel shrugs and goes inside from the backdoor of the house. Janice finds herself back on the grass. A tear falls from her eye. What she thought would be, actually wouldn't be, because, it's love for never. And that's that. 57