Forbidden Existence, The Solution

"I heard you caused trouble again." I watched as the white clad woman stepped into the room, taking a seat before me. Her sky colored eyes were held with guard, like crude gates strewn before the heavens, locking me out. I craved their secrets. 1

Tilting my head up and pursing my lips together I said gently, but cynical, "I just talked to them a little is all." I could tell, by her disbelieving expression that she doubted the power of my words. Her dark eyebrows formed together, wrinkling her normally flawless skin. 2

"You don't believe me?" I asked immediately, watching her like prey. 3

She kept up her professional front, something I must admit I admired in this woman. Of all the doctors set before me, she was the strongest in will. Perhaps that is why I was so drawn to her. I wished nothing more then to break that will, to defeat the impervious in this wretched place. If I were stuck in these white washed rooms then I would make it hell for whoever it was that kept me here. Right now that was the doctors and nurses. 4

"I have one nurse down to tears and the other so angry she refuses to come back in here. Its hard to believe simple words caused this." 5

My eyes traced from her glossed lips, up the curves of her cheeks, to where her long brown curls framed her face. I bit my bottom lip out of habit, my heart pounding in anticipation. My heart was always pounding. I don't know if it was normal, but the doctors commented on it a couple times when they took my vitals. "Don't underestimate the power of words Ms. Paige. It was mere words that locked my life within these walls was it not?"6

Mary Elizabeth Paige, did not come up with an answer right away. Instead her eyes pierced into mine, as if she could see beyond them and the lies they held. Too bad I never lied to her. I leaned forward in my seat, grinning in the slightest, "You see if I had just answered those questions the way you doctors wanted, she would have passed that test, and we wouldn't be here. Mere words placed us where we are, and it would only take some words to get us out." 7

Ms. Paige lowered her head, lifting her notepad up a bit. She started scrawling something down, eyes temporarily hidden by the curls of her hair. This was a habit with her. My theory was that she did this to hide her anxiousness or panic from me. Of course I could be wrong. 8

When she finally met eyes with me, she had another flawless, guarded reply ready. "You know yourself Arcane, that the only way to leave this place is to merge with Lilly." 9

Lilly, idiotic Lilly. Why did every conversation turn to her? I hated everyone bringing her up, especially when they were trying to convince me to "merge personalities". Like I wanted, or knew how to do that.10

I turned my head away for a moment in disgust of the sound of her name. Ms. Paige caught this immediately, emotionless stare giving way to contemplation. "Do you still hate her that badly?"11

I forced myself to look back, and straighten myself up. "Yeah, what gave you that clue?" I sneered sarcastically. This conversation was turning ugly, as it normally did when it came to my host, as I liked to call her. Everything belonged to Lilly. This was Lilly's body. It was Lilly's life. It was Lilly's choice if she wanted to be here. Everything belonged to her, and nothing was my own. That shattered, pitiful existence didn't deserve the life she had. She was weak, and would always be that way. Lilly destroyed her ability to adapt a long time ago, and was the reason I had to help her now. 12

"Why do you hate her?" Ms. Paige asked, taking on that false mask, attempting to sound genuinely curious or caring. 13

I started to piece back together my composure, letting the emotions settle down in a more acceptable manner. I smiled, my normal cynical expression that pissed the nurses off. "You don't actually care about that Ms. Paige." 14

"And why can't I?" she asked. Oh what a beautiful question! Ms. Paige was the first that understood this wondrous game of logic and indirect reasoning. 15

"That's the question isn't it?" I said, my heartbeat once more racing (more then usual) "Its the question for all of those in your field of work, everyone here in this building. Why can't you care about us, the one's locked within the mind's of the insane?"16

The quick witted doctor was catching onto my excitement. "So what do you think it is Arcane?"17

She knew how to play me, and play me like a flute she did. The sound of my name, uttered without fear or cautiousness sent flutters of anticipation through me. "Because we're the problem, we're the virus, the infection you're trying to destroy. For one, who's purpose is to destroy us, caring and understanding is impossible." 18

Was that-- could it be? Emotion sparked in the doctor's eyes, but not of the kind I was used to. When ever I brought truth to the darker corners of the modern society, I was returned with emotions of anger and despise. Humans cannot stand to hear the truth, and it the reason they block it from their minds. (Wasn't my existence a perfect example of such? Alter egos, separate personalities, were created by the minds inability to deal with an event and disassociating/blocking it from the memory. The collection of these memories, along with strongly suppressed emotions led to the creation of us, the forbidden existence.) But Dr. Paige, instead of growing irritated with the truth, with my words, looked only interested and willing. "How can I understand then?" 19

Another perfectly formed question! I leaned forward, hand gripping onto her shoulder to support me. I felt her muscles grow tense in immediate reaction, and a whisper of self scorn for doing such. This gave me a momentary pleasure as I whispered with intense silence, "You can't." 20

It didn't matter how much they pretended to care, or wished they could. They, all of them, could never understand how it felt to be completely and utterly alone in a world that only wished for the destruction of your existence. I wasn't the problem, I was the solution to the problem. I was the cooping mechanism of the young girl Lilly that couldn't handle the truth of the world.