Of Dreams and Reality

Nebulous forms drifted in the timeless ether; shapes that defied definition or category, amorphous beings of everlasting existence, living beyond the restrictions of the weaker earth-bound forms. The constraints of need and desire factored not in their reality, and neither did the limitations of the physical plane. 1

Though they had neither beginning nor end, they had purpose. A purpose that drove them to seek out the earth-bound forms to feed on the one thing they wanted, but could never have. Despite the fact that they were omniscient, they could never perceive anything beyond the tangible. Thus, they sought to experience the elusive - hungered after it – causing a few to depart from their ethereal lodgings from time to time, and walk amongst the craven of the earth.2

One such being detached itself from the collective, but it had no sense of self, or of a separate identity; it merely existed without ego. It drifted, invisible, drawn toward that which it sought. It entered the physical domain of its prey as amorphous gloom, sliding with unnatural tenacity from one shadow to the next.3

It slid furtively through the physical constructs of the earth, and irrespective of whether it moved through that which remained immutable or capricious, it continued without pause toward its goal.4

It drew close to a structure, delaying its incessant advancement to gather its senses; ever aware of the sentient being within. The indistinguishable edges of its existence quivered as it attuned itself to the subtle energies that came from its prey, and then darker shadows shivered away from the surrounding darkness, coalescing to unite into a mass compatible with the world it had entered.5

It drew its form not from its own memory, but from the mind of its prey. It glanced down at its freshly created corporal form as sudden bursts of foreign sensation tingled along its new appendages. It blinked its eyes for the first time, and took a deep breath into its unused lungs.6

Inside the structure, its prey slept; already ensnared by the creature’s influence. Newly formed receptors perceived the pupils that dilated under sleep-infused eyelids, the increasing rhythm of life, and the sour taste fear as the creature taunted its prey with nightmarish images of despair created from its prey’s own mind.7

It hunted these bipedal life forms for countless cycles before, and would for many more. The creature shuddered with delight as its prey sunk deeper in its grip, as the lanky form writhed with silent horror; causing pale swathes to entangle its flailing limbs.8

The creature opened its maw to savour the vibrations of anxiety and apoplectic terror that poured from its prey. The creature arched its head back in a paroxysm of bliss, relishing the singular moment in its ceaseless existence, its prey sought for their unique capabilities. 9

These bipeds possessed a mind that constantly desired to change the metaphysical, the intelligence to mould its environment and an irrational emotional response to unexpected change. The creature could never experience this combination except through its prey – goading the pliable mind to create a world full of nightmarish scenes, nudging it to accept that delusion as authentic, and lying in wait as the fragile body responded.10

It leaned over its prey now, allowing the waves of biological signals that roiled from its prey to bathe its form, each individual hormone a loving caress on its unfamiliar skin. Without touching its prey, it reached out an androgynous limb, playing abominable digits through the tainted air, flexing each impossible joint in silent exhilaration. 11

As its prey opened its mouth in a noiseless scream, the creature lowered its own cavernous warped maw to encompass pale, stretched lips. Intimately connected, the creature’s pestilent tongue laved at the tendrils of hopelessness that oozed within its prey’s moist opening, passionately swallowing the sweet nectar of fear. 12

Underneath the creature, life fluttered arrhythmically. The horrendous images in the prey’s mind began to dissipate, becoming darting black bees that broke away and fled from the faint smoky curls of early demise. 13

The creature pulled back, the edges of its own solidity blurring, and it screamed with frustration, a myriad of soulless voices shrieking in anguish. As its fingers clawed at the air, they dissolved, as did the landscape of the dream; hellish sand that shifted back to barren wasteland assisted by the winds of death. 14

Then the prey exhaled one final time, the puff of lifeless air enough to blow away the last wisps of shadow; the creature forced to retreat and return from whence it had arrived.15

It fled – formless and mindless – back to its eternal existence to await another. Only another of the bipedal forms would sate its hunger, satisfy its purpose. And on only those, with a highly evolved and that unattainable power of creation and imagination, would it feed once again.

Author notes

I would like to note, mostly for the curious, that the reader is NOT meant to be able to grasp or identify with a character. This creature exists beyond and outside of our world, and everything which we see as essential (emotion, response, humanity), it is devoid of. It simply exists to feed. It craves our emotive response - it is the only thing that lets it materialise into our dimension. Writing this from the point of view of the creature you are NOT meant to emphasise with the human - since the creature only sees him as a means to an end.

This is one of my more 'experimental' pieces.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • AleMor
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    I love the descriptions/imagery and the language you use in the first paragraph. It's very mysterious and strange. This is a very interesting idea.

    Your writing is very smooth. You have great flow. I absolutely love this. I think it's one of the best things I've ever read on SW. It's so wonderfully dark and consuming. I was sucked into this world. Fantastic job!

    My favorite parts are:
    "...becoming darting black bees that broke away and fled from the faint smoky curls of early demise." and "The creature pulled back, the edges of its own solidity blurring, and it screamed with frustration, a myriad of soulless voices shrieking in anguish."

    Thanks for entering and congrats on winning silver!

    (Also, you get 3 applause which I hardly ever give out,)


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    September 14

    Edit | Reply
    This creature intrigues me, and the writing here is superb. For an 'experimental' piece, I thought it was exceptional. I haven't read any of the other comments below, but really didn't catch any errors in this that I can point out

    I highly enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering the contest

    Pixie

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.


  • Caradoc
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    This was an exceptional tale. You have created a very intriguing being here. The idea behind it was unique and the way in which you described it was superb. As others have said, you have a very healthy vocabulary and you use it to great affect. The creature was otherworldly.

    I sometimes role play, not computer style but the traditional paper, pen and dice role playing. There is one game system which has creatures called Alien Intelligences and what you have described is exactly how one of those Intelligences is supposed to be.

    Your story would easily place in the finals of most contests. However, I'm afraid I will have to disqualify it. This is the second story I am DQing for violating rule number 8. Of Dreams and Reality has already won two gold trophies.

    I am really sorry to have to do that because this story really is superb. It would be unfair to the other entrants, however, to let it remain in violation of the rules.

    You may still, if you choose to do so, enter a more suitable story into my contest.

    For now, thanks for entering.


  • GuitarShank Moderators member
    February 6

    Edit | Reply
    Nice. I like the way this is written. I especially like how you've taken something intangible and given it a coating of realism, as well as a purpose.

    Thanks for entering


  • terror
    February 5

    Edit | Reply
    More sci-fi than fantasy, it's an interesting idea but without a plot it left me feeling detatched from the story. I can see this is intentional and that the story is well written, but it seemed to spend too long describing a fairly simple consept, that of an uncaring, unemotional being.

    On the other hand your use of descriptions and setting of the enviroment are stunning, you are clearly a good writer.

    beginning: 3, language: 5, plot: 2, ending: 2, characters: 3.


  • Hatshepsut gold member
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    This was fabulous! There was a certain 'coldness' to the piece...I don't know if that's the right word exactly, but it lacked any sort of emotion, which really created an awesome atmosphere!

    I don't know how to explain it, I just loved the 'feel' of the story.

    You also gave me the willies, because I have nightmares on a daily basis, and now you have me wondering of there is some creature out there who thinks of me as an all you can eat buffet!

    Great job!


  • Cupcake14
    January 30

    Edit | Reply
    You know, the creature reminded me of one of those giant crow-like things that feed on humans(is there a creature like that, or am I confusing a vulture for one) and a woman, and I had the distinct feeling they were having sex, or the woman was having her life force sucked out like the dementor's kiss in Harry Potter.


  • amanda vampiress silver member
    November 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am speechless. I see that you have a rather extensive vocabulary; luckily I understood all of them. Your plot is amazing. It reminded me of a book I read a while ago, the author wrote and described beings exactly as you have.

    The descriptions were well thought out. I enjoyed them very much so. You have a way with imagery that is refreshing! I enjoyed this horror scene, and I hope you plan to continue this brief story some day. Thank you for entering my contest and keep up the excellent work!

  • Tomereader
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    I love your use of laguage. The words flowed and your vocabulary lent it a richness which is rare. The creature really gave me the creeps because of its emotionless, relentless drive for sustinance and experience. The fact that this thing is eternal and maybe even indestructable leaves a haunted feeling. I wish I had your wordsmith skills. Thank you.


  • DogsLookUp silver member
    October 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A smooth, creeptastic, gorgeously written story! You are a force to be reckoned with, blondie The description, imagery, and darkness are abundunt and delicious to read! Awesome job.


  • Wind Goddess
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ghost story or something equally eerie-that's what this makes me feel it is...i think it's fairly spooky and good and equally terrifying...


  • cole3313
    October 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    woa. Your vocabulary is GINORMOUS. This was really good!
    The creature seemed creepy and sadistic.
    Great job and good luck.


  • Celestial Rose
    September 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    One word...WOW!!! Your language was Marvelous!! I am impressed!! This is great, amazing, spectacular, unequalled!! Good Job!!


  • ice wolf Greeters member
    September 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very good plot. I'm intrigued by it. You structured it nicely. The beginning was kind of confusing to me, but that's only because I didn't understand a lot of the words you used at first. When I took the time to pay attention and use context clues, I understood what you meant. As the story progressed, it drew me in deeper, making me feel as though I were in the story as a character instead of a reader. At the end, it rather disappointed me that it was over and I had to come back to the real world. Your grammar was excellent. Commas all seemed to be in the right places and I didn't notice any spelling mistakes. I can't wait to read more of your work.
    I think your description and imagery were very well inspired and inspiring. You have a good imagination and a good writing style. You pulled off something here that I wish I could pull off, as well. That's being able to draw the reader into your story. I can't wait to read more from you. Good job.


  • kitigrl-sparkloholic
    August 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    scary!

    *never napping again*

  • Nipahem Shadow
    August 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This was wonderful! I saw little wrong with it despite the constant use of the word 'prey'. It was compelling and it fits my contest. It was very original and that is what I strive for.
    Good luck!


  • Miss Hanako Cullen
    August 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW... you had a very complicated dream.. lol.. the wording was very complex and detailed. Every vision brought out and mindset released.

    Wonderful!


  • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
    August 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Some fabulous imagery here and your use of language superb.

    Certainly glad I didn’t read this before I went to bed, I would have gotten even less sleep then usual .

    I gather you have created a lifeforce within the boundary of our own existence but not physically touching us. That’s why I’m always looking over my shoulder and finding no one . Since it exists as a collective, one must break away to feed. Its source of nourishment is human emotion. Am I reading this correctly?

    Obviously mankind is the most vulnerable when asleep and by creating dreams or should I say nightmares in his fertile brain, the entity can feast to its full.

    Here comes the sun—thank you .

    Some fabulous imagery here and your use of language superb. This seems to fit the criteria of the contests you’ve entered. Still, what if anything else do you plan to use this piece for? It’s a great horror scene and the idea seems to beg for growth.

    Geri

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5.


  • Abstract Muse gold member
    July 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is well written in the sense of description and good imagery. I see a great fantasy or horror story here if expanded upon. As it is it seems like a collection of ephemeral thoughts. Perhaps that was your intent for one of the contests.

    I hope you decide to expand on this idea. It seems lacking here in that there are no characters, no sense of place, or time. There is no one here to feel emotions for, whether it be hate, pity, hope or sadness. It's hard to relate to something that isn't there. Even dreams have characters. (At least mine do anyway.)

    Greg

  • Colaca-Lily
    July 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing piece of work. I love your style and vocabulary, well done. (55/100)


    • WritersEffigy gold member
      August 9, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Lol, you gave the guy who blatantly ripped off R.A. Salvatore's character Artemis Entreri and tried to say it was his own original character a higher score than you gave this story, which on its own is a masterpiece.

      Just think thats funny.

      And tallblondie, this story rocks.


  • NosferatuWoman
    July 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You have a very distinct style of writing that reminds me of the 'timeless' authors. I applaud that. You used a very wide vocabulary of terms to describe something 'indescribable' and did a very good job with imagery. Because the being was so very abstract, I couldn't find myself identifying with it in a horror sense, but maybe that wasn't your intention in the first place. Very nicely written.


  • eyeambaldman
    July 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This piece was full of excellent imagery, but there seems to be something lacking. I think telling a story from the POV of this type of formless monster is quite difficult. I'm wondering if changing the POV would change this story or make it more powerful. I think this has the potential to be much creepier than it is, but it needs a bit of reworking for that to happen. It's tough to identify with characters that have no features or names...makes it difficult to identify with.


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    July 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well,

    I mostly understood this, but I didn't really identify with the creature or victim. I assume by biped, you meant human. Apparently your monster sucked the life force out of the human. Stephen King had a creature that did this in Sleepwalkers. At least, I think that was the title.

    Thanks for entering Invitation Only.

    Andy


  • Oblivion Kitty God silver member
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Dark, perhaps, but not creepy or frightening. It fails to do anything to my nerves. It feels more like a strange dream and nothing more. There are no characters - and I'm one of those people who attaches to characters in stories - and so I felt distanced from the story. Overall, this is a good one. Just not what I was looking for.

    Good job, nonetheless. Keep writing! And thanks for entering the contest.


  • o-EverChanging-o
    July 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I...wow...This is great! I just loved it! It had so much detail for something that had no definition! Great job!

  • thedarknesslives
    July 23, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Sweet!!!!!

    It was very discriptive.

1 - 27 of 27