Silence

Silence. Nothing but silence. Rain poured down outside but made no sound, the wind blew hard making tree’s sway. Yet still there was silence. There was a leak in the roof letting a few drops of rain through, how I wish I could hear the dripping sound and not just see the picture. I held my knees to my chest trying to keep as warm as possible, quite hard when there’s a window next to you with no glass. My ankles were still stained with blood from my failed attempts to get loose of the shackles that held me underneath it.1

After a while I felt someone else’s presence in the room, looking up slowly I saw a man with longish purple hair and a purple beard. His skin was pale and was smirking evilly, now my time had come. I could finally leave this horrid world of silence. I tried to stand up but only to be pushed back down again; looking up again the man had gone. I felt tears in my eyes threatening to fall, holding them back I let a yell in frustration but still there was no sound.2

Ten years I have been here, ten years ago I became deaf. I hated it, even though I was only five I tried killing myself but each time failing. Then I got the letter. They said that they could stop me being def and let me hear again, but if they don’t succeed by the time of my fifteenth birthday they will kill me if I still want to die. I agreed to it straight away, my parents willingly sent me there happy they could get rid of such a disgrace to the family. 3

Their methods were different not what I thought they would be, instead of using science and doctors they just tortured me and punished me whenever I didn’t cry. But I was taught never to cry, crying makes you weak even if it is just one tear. So after nine years they gave up and just looked me in this empty stone room, occasionally bringing me food and water.4

Now it’s my fifteenth birthday and I’m still here, still alive without being able to hear. The lied, they probably were never going to cure me just torture me. I’ve been kidnapped yet no one noticed, not even me. 5

Finally I gave up. My head in my hands I let all the tears I’ve bottled up for ten years loose, tears of pain, anger, sorrow, sadness, happiness I let them all go. Though even after what my family said I don’t feel weak, I actually feel stronger. People are meant to cry to express our feeling, that’s why god gave us tears. For once in my life I actually feel like I’ve accomplished something, I’ve finally proven my parents wrong.6

“You can leave now.”7

Author notes

Wrote this for a contest, not sure i stuck to the criteria though. Please enjoy!!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • BakaYaro
    June 29
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    Wow. Just amazing i love the ending and how much you've gotten in such a story. Loved it.


  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    July 31, 2008

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    I like the ending - the way it's subtle yet tells everything that needs to be known about the story. It's great that you've managed to get so much description and action and story into such a short piece. A very unique take on the prompt. Best of luck to you in the contest, and welcome to Storywrite!


  • Pixels
    July 24, 2008

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    This is amazing, I love the discriptiveness to it. It's so good, I can't say enough compliments about it. Just... wow.


  • bird-mad girl
    July 24, 2008

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    I've never read a story like this before. It was very different. I like how it dealed with a deaf character but they're situation was taken outside of the box.

    I thought this was good until the parents were mentioned and how they were disgraced with the main character. I think you should of just left it as her [it is a chick, right?] getting kidnapped, not her parents sending her away.

    I think if you hone your craft a little more, you could really do a fantastic job of bringing imagery inor your pieces.


  • Andy Stephenson gold member
    July 23, 2008
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    Hi

    I'm a little confused. Did your main character get their hearing back? They were given their freedom? A different sort of story, this is.

    You have a couple of typos and it would be good to use a blank line to separate paragraphs.

    Thanks for entering the New Member Contest. Welcome to Storywrite.

    Andy


  • Mpdudik
    July 22, 2008

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    Strange

    I love the twist at the end...In fact, I think the whole story is twisted just enough from social "Norms" that the reader is made uneasy, and yet if he (the reader) accepts the ideals presented in the story, it suddenly makes clear and proper sense. Good work.


  • Elms Apprehended
    July 22, 2008
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    I loved the guy with the purple beard!


  • aly96522
    July 22, 2008
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    that was deep, very god ^^

  • twilightfan4eva
    July 22, 2008
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    nice just dont stela pictures in the future but i luv the emotion in this work woohhoo!!!


  • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
    July 22, 2008

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    Hi and welcome to SW. Thank you for sharing your work with us.

    You are a talented young writer with an amazing imagination. You have a gift for using the language but remember proper spelling is still required. (deaf will never be def, I hope ).

    This is a tale that could be classified as horror or perhaps the torture of the child is suppose to be symbolic, I’m not quite certain.

    They just let the narrator go at the end?

    Good luck in the contest.

    Geri

1 - 10 of 10