Lela frowned at her tea in her teacup. Tea always reminded her of her aunt Fayyah and how she always drank her tea in the most absurd way. Slurping for hours over just a cup of tea, was heartwrenching on the ears and stomach. But that had been over two years ago and not surprisingly missed. 1
Her attention turned to the art on the cup. It had an emerald cupid with a ruby bow and a golden-tipped arrow. It was a magnificrnt piece of art, that much to be sure, but now it belonged to her accursed stepfather, King Eron. 2
Lela sighed and set the teacup on the counter. She looked around the kitchen thinking of her father. King Cuatha, the Gentle, was a king of justice and the heart. His kingdom was as big as five kingdoms, roughly 900 thousand leagues, and he governed it well. King Cuatha was known for being just and gentle to his people and they loved him for that. There was never mutiny or war in this land called Cayal. 3
Our neighboring kingdom,Esha, is not so lucky. This kingdom is a land of war. Lead by none other than King Eron. 4
His whole dynasty is apocalyptic, trying with all their might to make the world into a living hell. A place with no hope, only fear is their ideal world and their kingdom Esha is as close to it as it could possibly get. But lately their had been riots, mutiny, calls for the death of the king and his sons. A revolution. In response, the king became panic-stricken and thinking of the only way to calm down the general uprising he decided to take over the strongest neighboring kingdom; the kingdom of Cayal. 5
King Eron is ambitious, selfish, and foolish. Lela sighed again. King Eron was indeed foolish for he had my father beheaded on the town square, leaving my father with no honor. Choked, beaten, sexually assaulted by Esha's guards; those despicable dogs! He knew such insanity would bring war to his kingdom from far and wide. 6
As angry as I was I would have led them. But King Eron was smarter than that. He illegally came into our dominion raiding, burning down houses, raping, and torturing our people; until they reached my father's castle. 7
There he announced publicly while my father's blood still ran fresh that he was the king of Cayal, therefore merging Cayal and Esha together; becoming one. Such things could be done, had been done for so many years. The only problem was that once the statement was said the announcer was bound to the land by such a strong unknown force that leaving the land would kill him. Besides that, no one could question the self- claimed king; not even the true king. 8
If such a thing were to happen, as indeed it had, then the true king was to demand a duel to the death. It is true my father was the best of them both, no one should have really expected King Eron to fight fairly. After all he is a dirty rotten scum bucket that deserved to die instead of my father. 9
Author notes
i commented on moonwriter's story. It was a great read!
In a list
- Girls Who Are not a Tomboy And Are not group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Give me your best work! by Forgotten Anomaly.
750 points, ended August 7, 2008, 36 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Under Read Stories by Mrs Dean Winchester.
100 points, ended October 9, 2008, 56 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
please comment!!!!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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In the first paragraph, maybe change it from "...and not surprisingly missed." to "...and surprisingly not missed".
Also, in paragraph 4, it changes from third person to first and it does this again further on, which makes it a little confusing and hard to focus on the actual story.
Apart from that, a good read. A great introduction, this could turn into a brilliant book. I wonder what's going to happen.
Great Write!


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thanks for the comment! yeah....i need to work on that...hehe:3
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Nice, but.............
You have some misspelling, like on the second paragraph. I enjoy reading fantasy-like stories, but it seemed as though you rushed this. Maybe you should proofread it.=) -
Thank you for the entry however this was not what I was looking for so it will not have a chance of winning. Thanks anyway.
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Not bad, not bad at all. The descriptions were wonderful and I like the charactors you have created. It was a tad bit confusing when you were talking about the death of the father and the merging of the kingdoms but otherwise I think it was well enough writen. Do continue this.
You didn't put your gender in the A/N so you need to do that or I will DQ your story before contest end.
Thank you for entering. -
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thnx
Also read part two and three.
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very good start in your story, hope you keep writing it and welcome to storywrite

M
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thanks!!
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