The blindfold was suddenly removed from his face and the dim-lit room slowly came to him as his eyes focused to the darkness.1
“Hey, Ret.” A beautifully buxom young woman leaned seductively against a slick black piano. A devil red evening dress shimmered in the moonlight. 2
“Gloria?” he said in disbelief. But, she’d been gone for years…3
“Nuh-uh,” she replied, a smile playing at her red lips. “It’s Scarlet now.”4
Ret was left speechless and gaped at her with his mouth open. Gloria? The simple little housewife? But it couldn’t be…5
He fumbled for words. “Gloria…Gloria, this is ridiculous. Just untie me now, let me go, and we can talk this over – ”6
She giggled. “Oh, it’s too late now, Ret. Far too late. You should have thought of this first before you slept with that tramp and kicked me out of our house. You knew better than that…”7
She spoke to him as if she were speaking to a disobedient child. He didn’t like it.8
“Gloria,” he said more aggressively, “you let me go this second or you’ll be dealing with my lawyers!”9
Like a cobra, she struck him, her face twisted in ugly fury, barely an inch away from his own. “Did you not hear me?” she snarled. “My name’s not Gloria! Gloria was weak and subservient. She let you get away with anything you wanted, didn’t she? All for love.” She spat the word. She suddenly seemed to compose herself. “But not now,” she whispered slowly, watching his eyes, his lips. “You won’t get away with anything this time…”10
He trembled as she studied his face in silence. “You haven’t changed at all, have you?”11
When he didn’t respond, she laughed loudly and stepped away from him. “Of course not. Still a coward through and through…of course not…”12
Her heels echoed through the empty room. “I’ve changed, Ret,” she said after a moment. “I’m a lot stronger now. You wouldn’t believe it.” She laughed again.13
Her back was turned to him and she seemed to be rummaging for something in a shimmery red clutch. Chills ran violently up Ret’s spine as he imagined a gun but ceased as she pulled out a tube of red lipstick.14
“I made it myself,” she said, thoughtfully, sliding it over her full lips. She rubbed them together and turned to look at him. She caught his eye and he saw her soften.15
She sighed. “What do you say, Ret? Put all this business behind us? After all, it was the past and…I’ve missed you so much…” She reached behind her neck and her evening dress fell to her feet.16
Ret’s eyes roamed over her body, her hourglass shape embraced perfectly in black lace. “Yes, the past…” Ret murmured absently, his mind already on other things. “I’ve missed you too.”17
She tipped her chin and grinned devilishly. “Let’s have a little fun.”18
She slithered into his lap, running her hands slowly up Ret’s chest, making him gasp for air. She straddled him, one leg on either side, and pressed her lips to his passionately. Ret bit and sucked her lips hungrily as she grasped his hair and pushed him in for more. Ret eagerly complied but suddenly she giggled. He ignored her and trailed her neck and breasts with as much sloppy kisses as he could muster from his tightly bound position. Her giggles grew into full-on laughter and he pulled away and glared at her angrily.19
“What?” he snapped.20
She laughed even harder, shrieking, with tears running down her face.21
“What is it?!” he cried, cold fear beginning to spread at the base of his stomach.22
She stood up, pacing in front of him and breathing hard, trying to compose herself.23
“You didn’t ask what was in it,” she hiccupped and burst into a new fit of giggles.24
“I what?” Ret asked in disbelief.25
“You didn’t ask what was in the lipstick I made,” she said breathlessly. She let out another shriek of glee that she tried to stifle with her hand.26
“What was in it?” Ret whispered.27
She now lay cackling on the dirty floor28
“GODAMMIT GLORIA, WHAT WAS IN IT?” screamed Ret, unable to contain his panic.29
Stretching her face to keep from smiling, she looked at him dead in the face. “Rat poisoning,” she said, “cyanide, and venom.”30
“Jesus Christ, Gloria, don’t you know that we’re both gonna die?!” Ret cried.31
She shook her head, shaking with laughter. “No, you’re gonna die. I’ve got the antidote.” She pulled a small purple vial from her clutch along with a white handkerchief which she used to wipe her lips.32
Ret’s mind had temporarily gone numb but now he began to spit frantically, saliva stretching and dripping from his chin.33
“It’s too late, Ret!” she sang happily. “Haven’t I told you it’s too late? You’re gonna pay for what you did!”34
“No,” wailed Ret, beginning to cry. “No, I can’t. I’m sorry Gloria! I’m sorry! Save me please!”35
“Save you?!” she snorted and cackled some more. She was mad. Absolutely crazy.36
Ret started to scream, now far beyond panic. The sounds that came from his mouth weren’t even words, just desperateness for survival.37
“Calm down!” she cried a little indignantly over his wailing. The empty vial lay beside her dress on the filthy floor. “It works fast, doesn’t it? Can’t you feel the poison eating through your guts now?” She grinned. “Like acid.”38
And he did feel it. That terrible, terrible feeling, like everything was falling and burning. His skin was cold and clammy and with one mighty heave he began to vomit. Blood poured from his mouth, mingled with his spit, soaked through his shirt, ruined his shoes, and he died.39
Gloria sat back on the floor, laughing quietly, breathily to herself. She stood up, draped her dress over her arm, and her heels echoed as she walked over to the man in the chair. She stepped around the blood and mess and stooped to kiss him on his nose, his eyes still focused in fear where she had sat, laughing. She touched him on his forehead, smiling down on him, lost in memory, and then walked out of the room.40
Author notes
Eh, it's kinda cheesy now that I look back on it but I like it at the same time. Give me your honest opinion.
jessicakristine
Option VIII
A contest entry
- Why So Serious? (Dark Villian contest) by Hellcat Metal.
350 points, ended August 4, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Insanity, Please by Corpses.
310 points, ended August 14, 2008, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Women of Power by Sanchara.
200 points, ended August 27, 2008, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - falling through sheets of glass stars. by bird-mad girl.
800 points, ended August 27, 2008, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Call Me a Sicko... by Naive..
160 points, ended August 15, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Something. by HoneyAngel.
350 points, ended September 10, 2008, 34 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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THis was an alright piece. If you added more detail and maybe explained things better it could become something great.
I love the plot line and the feel of revenge. But it needs more bases behind it. How did she change? What had he been doing? Was she stalking him? How did she catch him?
Alll simple little questions. This has great potential and if you ever get around to re-writing it I'd love to read it.
Good luck and good job.
Angel.

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I wish you had gone more into their past together. Yeah it was mysterious but I just wish I had more grounds to understand why she did what she did. I got that he cheated on her. I just wished you described the kind of relationship they had together when they were together and how that played with her mind and made her go crazy when he cheated on her. It seems kind of random that she would suddenly have an urge to kill him after being gone so long.
I really like her drive though- ruthlessly seductive. It was a nice touch. Most of the villains I've read about have all been male too. It was nice to see a woman come into play and crush someone under her heal.
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This was really great. There was a lot of well written detail and description, which I loved. I also adored Gloria---er, I mean Scarlet, and felt that she was a great villain. My only criticism is that I wish there was more detail into what they were each thinking. That's the only thing that this story lacks. Overall, amazing job. =]
Thanks for entering and good luck.
-jj

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Sorry for the long comment. I like to be specific...
Nice beginning, caught my attention.
D:, in the second paragraph, the quotation is punctuated incorrectly, but I'm sure it's just a mistake. No harm done. :]
XD in paragraph 5. Well, of course it isn't gloria, she just corrected him on that. Made me laugh.
O:! In paragraph six. What did he dooooo?! Adding in suspense, very good.
XD!(paragraph 8) That made me laugh as well. However, this story sounds like it should be written in first person.
(10) Great job of describing her rage towards him. Your detailed paragraphs don't bore me, which is a big problem with most stories. Greeeeeeat job! :]
(12) I like her, she's a very entertaining character to read about. The dude's pansy-dom in (11) makes me laugh.
(13-19) XD!! Oh, my god. She's such a conniving little douche. I love it! He deserves it, though, and I'd do the same thing if I were in her situation.
(30) XDD!! I love how's she completely happy when she tells him she basically just murdered him. That's totally rad, she's really a great character.
“No, you’re gonna die. I’ve got the antidote.” Rofl, what a thing to say to a person.
(37) Very good paragraph, well written a descriptive.
(39) D:! EWWWWW! that sounds like a horrible way to die, all covered in your own vomit and such. Still, I'm sorry for my repetition, but it was well written.
the last paragraph was probably my favorite, I could picture the whole thing. Your descriptions are not so long to the point where they bore me to death, but also not so short to the point where I have no idea what's going on. I like your writing style.
ANYWAY.
Over all it was a very good story. The characters are kind of two dimensional, though, and they don't have enough personality. However, that's just me being picky and trying to find something wrong with this. I'd have liked to have been given a little insight as to what they were thinking, which is why I think this story could be significantly improved written first person. Your grammar was extremely good (something I always get really pissy about), and the story was very easy to read; it flowed very well.
THNX FUR LYK ENTERING MAI KONTEZT!
:]

beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 2.
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Wow that was good! I did suspect something with the lipstick when she said that she made it herself but I seriously didn't think about it once she kissed him. It was a great, twisted story and well written. Good job and thanks for entering!
By the way I LOVE Hades! He's my favorite Disney villain as well so I'm glad that you put that one down!


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