ABUSING MILES1
2.2
Pressure budding tightly3
grounding in the sunlight4
Shining on the torment5
cutting thick, a daggers strike6
Beauty in convulsion7
Heaved blood, soaked in tears8
I am his forever9
lived this life for years10
***11
I am angled in the sheets the pillows suffocating me as he holds my shaking, trembling thighs wide open with his brutal hands and slides his filth deep inside me; inching it, inch...by inch...like a knife slicing its way through me. Scraping the softness and sensuality from within me to replace it with swift, agonizing strikes of unbearable pleasure.12
I close my eyes my lid shut tightly. I do not manage to blink as often as I do usually nor do I flinch or squirm. I lay lifeless feeling his blood, gritty, nails digging, stabbing into my vulnerable, flustered, flesh as he drains every pleasant ounce of juice from within me ; rubbing in the pain like salt to a wound.13
I have learned to block it out not that he ever noticed. I was sure if he did my eyelids would have been super glued open so I would be staring directly into his empty, steel, cold eyes of depression, but no his eyes were else where; mainly the convulsion of my body and the secretion of the arousing fluids that both our bodies were producing as he insulted me with his acts of depravity.14
I could hear it the sounds squelching, not loud nor quiet but an indication that my body was enjoying it even if I was not. 15
I could feel it was close to ending though it never would truly end, just the session in which the secretion of his seeds would be planted inside me and if I was unlucky, offered to me as a supplementary drink for my exhaustion. 16
Today though Sydney was tired and seemingly depressed. I could feel it in his lack of energy, in his lack of heavy, rough, hardcore, strokes and stabs of his erection.17
This is the way I preferred it, the way I preferred to be abused. In a way that would kill me slowly and softly leaving me with an ounce of pleasure for myself in the end.18
I could feel him heaving as he began to pace himself harder, stronger, faster digging inside me once again.19
One last time, one more time, this is the last time I swear, I swore, I cried and I pleaded as he buries himself, gouging my insides so painfully it almost feels like death has come as a gift to me, but no it is not death just a feeling of my organs being torn from inside of me with his last, swift, stab creaming me with victimization; with his wanting, craving, urges, his suppressed animosity. 20
His final groan dragged out and lingers long after the blood pours from within me. It is painful as he draws himself from the depth of my unworthy cave and I manage a smile my eyes opening as it has come to an end once again, but never for good.
Author notes
Part 2 of 3
Miles is a girl I was going to make him a bot but I liked him as a girl and loved the name miles. I tried it out a few times and none felt right.
enjoy or not
Feedback please
spell/gram/punc is not good lol (plot wise)
Blair
In a list
If you read..Please comment.. honest feedback !!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Your description here was shocking...repulsive...but very well-written. It kept me reading even as I cringed internally. Poor Miles (I like the name, too, it has a unique twist to it-especially for a girl). Plus, you are so good at bringing the emotions to life. They feel real! My favorite sentence? I don't know...I really like this one:
"This is the way I preferred it, the way I preferred to be abused."
There's something really bittersweet about it. How there was preferences of abuse just never occured to me!
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Paragraph 12: I think 'strangled' is what you're looking for, not, "angled."
Paragraph 13: "I close my eyes my lid shut tightly." Looks like you had two different lines in mind here. 'I close my eyes tighly' should do right? "his blood-gritted nails"?? Is that what you meant?
-Overall-
Again, you've done an amazing job here with your story. The emotions and energy come through nicely, and the morbidity of the scene helps add a darker feel to her pleasurable torture. You've got a very interesting write here. Keep up the good work!
-Ephemeral E
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I think that Miles is an interesting name choice for a girl. Maybe it's someone you said you have a fetish for? But still, the story was full of action...and I hope that the good person wins at the end. But either way, the story is well written, amazingly put to words and I can't wait for part 3. But don't tell me the ending. I hate spoilers.
Keep up the great work, Blair. I enjoyed this just as much as part 1, but probably even a little more. It's really well written. I would give you probably a B+ on it and would suggest that you do something like this, but a little more explicit.
I will save part 3 for afterwhile, just as I told you. I want to save the ending for later. -
Man
This was so graphic and so sad.The graphic actions just made people feel worse and worse for Miles (I love that name too). I could feel her sadness, not exactly the actions that made her sad, but I understood her relief at the end. I read this with a heavy heart and I know that was what you were aiming for. Fantastic, Blair.
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I love the poetry at the beginning of these pieces...very dark and doomy.
'graph 15: "quiet" instead of "quite"
'graph 17: I could feel it in his lack (of) energ;y
'graph 20: plead should be past tense
I liked this part better than the first. Honestly, I wonder if you should scrap Part 1 and use it to fill in some gaps here in Part 2. I think this is much stronger...it shows action, no dialogue...which is actually quite interesting...the first part just told us what happened...here you showed us...big difference and much much better!
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