Riding on the Backs of Seahorses

Jabe wasn't like other fairies. 1

No, he didn't like to fly. Above all else he wanted to see what was under the blue surface of the lake nearby the flower bed.2

He had seen the gigantic fish jump high out of the water and slide back in with a small splash. He saw the insects who could not only walk on water but also swim through it.3

He could see the reflections of the colorful coral beneath the shiny surface, and wanted nothing more than to explore their crevasses. 4

One day he sat watching the wonders he could never experience when he heard the giggling sounds of elves not far up the bank. Elves were peculiar creatures who normally kept to themselves except when playing pranks on others. He feared he was at the blunt end of this one.5

He looked carefully over to the group of six rugged elves. The tallest of whom barely cleared the shortest stalk of grass. "Fairy," Called one to him, his squeaky voice barely audible above the sound of the water. "Why do you not fly like your brothers spreading your infernal pixie dust all over the place?"6

Jabe ignored the strange little creature and continued his observance of the blue green substance before him. "Hey you little man, didn't you hear me?" The elf cried again. Perhaps the elf knew that his relative smallness to the elves was always something that had bothered him.7

Even though the insult hurt, Jabe decided it would be best to turn his back on the annoying larger creature. He fluttered his wings enough for him to lift off the rock that he was sitting on and turned around never coming out of his sitting position. 8

"His wings do work!" Another of the screeching voices said amazed. "Would he not make a beautiful kite?" a female asked quietly. 9

"If you want a kite then use a leaf. I have a better use for him, come on." The first elf after saying this fell silent and scuttered away. Jabe hoped they would not return.10

He sat pondering the ripples of the water when suddenly they were disturbed and he found himself drenched in water. He was hit by two more waves from different sides. Confused and unable to see from the water in his eyes he tried to flutter up out of the way, but his wings were to wet to lift him. Before he could flap them fast enough to dry he was hit by another wave.11

By now he knew what was causing the waves. He could hear the elves giggle all around him. He didn't like the fact that he was surrounded. Suddenly before he could spread his wings again he was grabbed in a big bear hug. He heard the first elf's voice in his ear. "Got you, we've got you little fairy man!" He heard cheers from all the elves. However, when his sight finally cleared he saw that one elf was not enjoying their prank.12

"You have to grant us a wish now!" One of the small females jumped up and down excitedly. 13

"Me first." Was cried by several of the others.14

"No." The one who held Jabe said with authority. "I caught him so I get the first wish."15

Jabe sighed. He didn't like giving wishes under these conditions but that was the way of things, he had no choice once he had been caught.16

"I wish..." The large elf seemed to hesitate as if he didn't know what he wanted. Jabe knew what he wanted, he knew what all elves wanted, and it was just what the elf asked for. With such excitement as if he had just made a brilliant discovery the elf spoke, "I wish for a big pile of ice cream!"17

With no effort by Jabe he made a pile of strawberry ice cream the size of a frog. Without hesitation the elf passed Jabe off to the next and dove head first into the cold mountain of cream.18

The next elf seeing what his leader had done didn't wait. "Me too! I wish for a big pile of ice cream!"19

This time the elf just threw Jabe on the ground and ran after his pile of chocolate. Before Jabe could recuperate two elves were pulling him by his arms arguing over whose turn it was next. Jabe was confused and all the world spun around him as the two twisted and pulled. Then he heard a little angry voice. "Oh I wish all of you would just leave him alone." This was one wish Jabe was happy to oblige.20

The two that had been playing tug-a-war with him disappeared and he fell to the ground with a thud. Dazed he didn't move for awhile. "Are you all right?" 21

When he heard the voice he jumped to his feet, ready to run. He thought he had gotten rid of all of them. Then he remembered the young girl who had made the wish, she wouldn't have been included in those he had made disappear. 22

He kept his distance from her and looked on her shyly. When the others were there he didn't have a chance to look at her clearly. Now that he did, he saw how beautiful she was. 23

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you. And thank you for wishing them away."24

She smiled kindly. "I didn't like what they were doing, it was mean." 25

He only nodded. Then after a moment he smiled and looked up at her. "You saved me, you are entitled a wish."26

She smiled too. He could see that she liked him. "I don't want a wish."27

"But you saved me!" He was almost insisting now, he wanted to do something nice for her and not just because she saved him.28

She avoided this by asking a question. "Why don't you ever grant yourself any wishes?" 29

Dumbfounded he stared at her. "I can not. We can only give wishes to others."30

"Oh." She said quietly and seemed to ponder his words. They stood there in silence just looking at each other. 31

Jabe was finally starting to dry off and as soon as his wings were able he would fly out of there away from those infernal elves. For now he stood. Slowly he asked. "What is your name?"32

"Sena." She said quietly marking the sand beneath her with her foot.33

"Is there nothing that you wish Sena?" He would leave soon and he didn't want to leave without giving her something.34

She looked back up at him. "I wish you could have your wish, to swim and breathe air like a fish, just once with me at your side."35

Jabe's grin spread all the way across his face shining like the sun. He took her by the hand running for the water. She giggled a sweet laugh as they hit the water. For the first time Jabe could see those wonders he had only dreamed about.36

They swam for hours, playing hide and seek in the reef, and breaching on the surface of the water as he had watched the fish do. In all his days Jabe had never been happier. He knew he and Sena would always be happy together riding on the backs of seahorses.37

Author notes

A children's story I wrote a long time ago, hope it's worthy.

for contest Vampires, fairies, unicorns, elves, and other mystical or mythical creatures! by Deathnote-girl-4eva

mix between option 2 and 4, fairies and elves.

Main character Jabe is a lonely fairy who is teased by elves and falls in love with one.

For Willy-Nilly's contest;
username tonialoise
"if willy gets the willies does nelly get the nillies?"


for contest; I Felt Like Making a Contest So... by followyourmoonlight
option 4 short fantasy. Hope this is what you're looking for

for contest; Contest The Anything Contest by Kagamine Rin
my favorite song is Enter Sandman by Metallica and this entry was brought to you by the letter Q why? because it's unique

In a list

A contest entry

I wrote this long ago so if you catch grammar mistakes let me know

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Andy Stephenson Greeters member
    November 8
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    Edit | Reply

    Hi

    This story is being considered for inclusion in a Storywrite anthology we hope to publish. If you would like this story to be considered, please apply to this group:

    http://storywrite.com/group/info/Storywrite%20Anthology%20Volume%20One?stay=1

    Andy


  • InkHeart
    November 7
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    Edit | Reply
    Awww I really love this. It was very sweet, well-written and innocent. I'm glad there is still good in the world and stories like these geared towards children always make me feel comfort and joy great job!

    ~ Ink


    • tonialoise silver member
      November 7
      ?
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I thought maybe it was too childish (especially the part about the ice cream) when I wrote it, but it's a feel good factor that people like you are enjoying it.


  • poetry is soul
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    oh its so cute! i love it... and the bullying brought be back to the dreaded play ground back in second grade when the mean 5th graders would chase me around trying to throw sand in my hair. What a bunch of mean elves! i really liked it. in fact, this is something i think my neices would deffinetly enjoy. do you mind if i let them read it? very good job!


    • tonialoise silver member
      November 4
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much! Yes go right ahead and share it with them, it's what it's here for Glad you liked it.


  • Emily Rodda fan
    October 30
    Edit | Reply
    i like this it is quite ... um... how do you put it cute.
    well that is not really the best word but it works.

    and about the grammar u suck at it and i cant find where the commers and full stops go but this was grate
    so far you are the first to enter so good for you


  • followyourmoonlight
    October 29

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked that. It was so cute and meaningful. I didn't want it to end.
    Thanks for entering my contest!!!


  • Willy nilly
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    TITLE = 2/2PTS
    STRUCTURE = 19/30PTS
    FLOW = 16/15PTS
    CHARACTERS = 17/20PTS
    IMAGERY = 18/18PTS
    DESCRIPTION = 3/5PTS
    SETTING = 8/10PTS

    total = 81

  • Shadowed Phoenix
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    Very origional and cute. I love the descriptions in this, you didn't use too many or too few. Your dialog is well done, realistic and not the least confusing. I love the 'giant pile of icecream' bit that's just funny. Not what I was expecting. Thank you for entering your a finalist.


  • angelaononchan
    October 17

    Edit | Reply

    Good story

    I love faries and elves, so I enjoyed this atory. Okay speling and grammar. This beautifully written and I really like it. Will Jabe Sena live there in the water? Or they can come out and breathe under water at the same time? Good that they have a happy ending. At first I didn't know Jabe was a fairy. I thought he was a human and how I know he's a fairy. I love fantasy. Humans can walk like fairies can fly, but I think fairies can't swim so maybe Jabe would want to. Or maybe another reason because he is in love.

    . Rewarded 8


    • tonialoise silver member
      October 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks very much angel. yep it was part of his wish to be able to go underwater and his love certainly helped him get his wish.


  • AnonymousUndefined.
    October 16
    Edit | Reply

    This was.

    an ok story im not really into elves or faireys or anything like that i8m kinda into vampires but this was a really good story keep up the good write!

    . Rewarded 4


  • Andy Stephenson Greeters member
    October 13

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good Story!

    I think the title should be 'Riding on the (Backs) of Seahorses'.

    p6 The tallest of (whom)


    I really enjoyed this story. Maybe I'm a kid at heart. I don't know much about fairies and elves, but can't elves grant wishes, too?

    I'm glad there was a happy ending for Sena and Jabe.

    Thanks for entering Exceptional Stories To Be Published.

    Andy


    • tonialoise silver member
      October 13

      Edit | Reply
      after all this time I've never noticed the title error! Thanks!

      I think it depends on which tales you listen to as to who, or what can grant wishes.


  • quicksilver moon
    August 30

    Edit | Reply
    Such a sweet story! I loved it completely and if you dont mind I might even read it to my little cousins. They'll adore this story. It's beautifully written and reminds me of the little elves and fairy stories I loved to hear at bed time when I was a kid. Thanks for entering this story in the contest


    • tonialoise silver member
      August 30
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks so much. Of course share it! That's what it's here for. Hope they enjoy it.


  • Valkyrie silver member
    August 20

    Edit | Reply
    Aww, how cute! I love how the elves are mean and greedy in your story; that's a neat twist.

    I pictured Jabe's wings like dragonfly wings for some reason, instead of butterfly wings.

    It looks like paragraphs 12, 13, and 14 are actually all supposed to be the same paragraph.

    Metoo in P21 should be two words

    P37 has breath, instead of breathe

    P38 says shinning, instead of shining

    in the last paragraph, you say "sea horses". If you mean the little ocean creatures, that's actually one word, seahorses.

    . Rewarded 8


  • elfflower1989
    August 18
    Edit | Reply
    Aww, this was adorable. I really liked it ^^ I wonder how she knew what he wanted?


  • juhi
    July 19

    Edit | Reply

    great job

    i guess , this one is a nice fairy tale . i found no holes in it[i myself is not very good in grammer ] so keep your imaginations go on , i m waiting fo ranother intresting story from your pen . till good luck .


  • Wildstar
    July 19
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    Good story. Good story line, good grammar, and Ok spelling. The point is that you didn't read the contest info. I said to write which option you chose in the Authors notes (obviously I know its fairies but, I still like people who follow directions), you were supposed to describe your main characters as well! Good luck in the contest, but next time read the info.


    • tonialoise silver member
      July 19
      Edit | Reply
      Oops sorry, you know I did read the directions but it's my first contest entry so I got a little excited and just uploaded the story. I can fix it of course, is it too late now?


      • Wildstar
        July 19
        Edit | Reply

        no no its alright

        lol, go ahead and fix it. So long as the contest isn't closed I allow people to edit and change where they see fit as long as they tell me.

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