Working Past the Hairline Fracture

I know I didn't mean it; it just sort of... happened. I hate myself for what I've done, and they all hate me, too. I never meant to abandon her--to ruin our friendship. Is there a chance I can save it somehow?1

I walked down the hallway slowly, feeling the stares from all those around me burn into my body. Of course it had gotten around school. It was a small school. I just didn't know why it was such a big deal, stuff like this happened all the time. I guess it was just the fact of how good mine hers friendship had been.2

Soon, I was out of that school, headed to the parking lot for my car. I hated high school. Everyone made everything worse than what it was... Yet, I knew that it was pretty bad. She was my best friend.3

As i slowly opened the door to my '76 Ford Mustang, I heard someone come up behind me.4

'Why the long face, princess?'5

I looked up at him and glared. 6

'Shut up Jay. You know that everyone is talking shit about me... Not one word has been said about you, but all me. You knew as well that Ally liked you, so why can't they blame you too?'7

He shrugged and then put his arm around me. 'Walk with me, please.'8

I looked around me to see no one was there, and then followed him as we walked to his truck.9

'I love you, Lena, not Ally. I know that she is your best friend, but as your best friend, she should know this. She will come to forgive with time... And it doesn't matter what else all these other people say.'10

I looked at him like he was psycho. 'Jay, she got us in the back room of the band classroom making out! Ally, your ex girlfriend, my best friend since pre k. She is friends with everyone, and everyone will take her side. It was spur of the moment. You had been telling me for days that you love me, and you just wouldn't believe me when I told you I didn't love you back. It all would have been better if you didn't volunteer to help me rearrange the uniforms.'11

He laughed and then shook his head in disbelief. 'LENA! Come on! You and I both know it would have happened eventually, no matter what. I know that you love me, and I also knew then that you were lying. I have known you longer than her, you have loved me longer than her. Why won't you just accept that what happened did, and it won't change anything, and that it is all for the best?'12

'Because, Jay, Ally is my best friend, the closest thing to a sister that I have. And I told myself no guy would ever find his way in between me and her... Yet, you wedged yourself into that little hairline crack.'13

I started crying as he pulled me into a hug. I did love him, and I loved Ally... It wasn't fair that she would get mad at me for doing what I did, since I did like him way before her, but it was fair that it made me feel bad. It was something everyone knew that I deserved.14

I pulled away and then wiped off my eyes. 'I have to get home, Jay. I will talk to you later.'15

I turned and then ran to my car and got in. After turning on the ignition and shifting to reverse, I tore out of there, 90 to none. I needed to get away from all this before i blew a cork.16

When i pulled up into my driveway, I sat there and cried and cried and cried. I hurt Ally so much. Best friends were not suppose to do that. I then reached behind me and grabbed my backpack, pulling out a notebook and a piece of paper.17

Ally,18

I'm sorry that I hurt you. I know that you really love Jay, and I know that I really love him too. But that just doesn't seem fair to either of us, huh? I want you to know, I do love you Ally, I really do. You are my best friend, and I couldn't ask for anyone better. I just hope that one day you can forgive me. I know in the end, he will probably hurt me, like he did you... then the both of us can caserate him while he sleeps. I just want hope, that if ever I need someone, even after what I did to you, you will be there... Love 19

Lena20

I sighed and then turned my car on again... It was time to make a trip to Ally's house.21

When I pulled up in front of her house, she was sitting outside.22

'What the hell do you want?' she asked me with a dirty look plastered on her face.23

'I wrote you this. And I beg of you, please, read this. That is all I ask, please. I promise I won't ever bother you again.'24

she grabbed the folded piece of paper out of my hand and unfolded it, reading. Soon, tears came to her eyes. She looked up at me and smiled, slightly nodding. She then turned around and walked into her house. 25

I smiled as well, and then drove off back home. There was hope, and i needed hope. 26