Coupled Yearnings

To the owner of the light blue car 5

The waters climb their way, 6

Washing up against your corpse, as you lay 7

Movement is slain, 8

You’re caught, ensnared in beauteous death. 9

This looping reality slowly seducing you to die, 10

And fear has been seeded inside of you. 11

Cause and effect, 12

Listen to the wind as is brushes passed your ears, 13

Fear will drown you. 14

Realize the refuge inside you 15

And around you… 16

       Luminescent  17

   Oblivion 18

          Violently 19

                 Enchanting 20

Anastasia Omana. 21

…The words echoed through my thoughts into a hundred half-formed sentences all climbing over each other to be completed,Anastasia Omana... What truth did the words hold? I folded the letter back up placing it back into its envelope and then into the inside pocket of my jacket. My small blue car shimmered in the morning sun. I sipped the cool morning air into my lungs, addictively. 22

Unlocking the car, door popping open, warm air surges forth momentarily and then the coldness of this hour rewraps itself around me. I get into the car falling deep into the comfortable sanctuary of… my car. Looking forward to the prospect of only half a day working as the car and I make our way through the many streets that grow steadily lighter as the sun ascends into the midday sky; in the distance down the road I see flashing lights. I ease on the brakes to draw to a halt a few cars behind… 23

Glass is scattered across the asphalt. A body lays bloodied, face down and half-covered by a red stained sheet. A car, mangled and torn, had left no distinct features in the wreck it was set in; facing a much larger truck not nearly as unrecognisable although its window was shattered the driver’s seat unoccupied. Blood drips down the bonnet of the car; the man inside lying on the steering wheel opens his eyes. Tears form and fall from his face. A loud whimper escapes his lips as he turns and sees his wife’s eyes close beside him. The limp bodies of his children are tangled beneath seat belts that couldn’t have saved them. I stare on resenting the darkly ominous feeling that besieges me. 24

A memory so pushed away that it’s painful to notice. Luckily it was just a broken down truck that had blocked one and a half lanes, saving me from the onslaught of that memory. Slowly driving past the truck, yellow lights flickering and seeping into the corner of my left eye: as the memory faded in the rear-view mirror. The sides of the streets littered with half organised piles of rundown pieces of furniture all screaming years of over use. Another smashed kitchen window, the shards of glass sparkling as rays of sunlight bounce off them. I rounded the last disserted corner and parked under a tree. 25

I pushed the dirty glass door open and walked through the office towards my room. I saw the boss walking over to me looking at my watch as he reached me, I wasn’t late. 26

“Morning Lysandra good to see you on time, young Ronny is in your room waiting for you.” The boss said smiling. 27

“Thanks… I’ll be right to it”, it was strange saying thanks to the boss I was so used to cursing him under my breath and it was a welcomed change. Stepping through the door I could see Ronny had been waiting awhile. It had only been four days since he last came to me. Exchanged pleasantries helped to warm the brief moments of discomfort, both of us slowly settling into the office. 28

 “Where’d you get that from?” noticing the discolouration on his shoulder; it was kids like him that helped me to decide to take this job. He lowered his eyes but left it unanswered. 29

“She has started again hasn’t she?” Ronny raised his head and looked sadly into my eyes as his glazed over. 30

“That’s the last time, she’s been told before. I spoke to the Eva’s. Are you interested?” It was what I wanted to do with my life; “Social workers help people overcome problems and make their lives better.” 31

He didn’t need to speak the words. “Madrona, yes that’s right…” tears dripped into his hands as I spoke on the phone. 32

“You’ll be right over? Good, we’ll be waiting. Goodbye.” The phone clicking back into place, Ronny glanced over searching for conformation of his hopes a smile briefly emerging from his tears. We left the office and walked out into the car park. Waiting for the Eva’s to arrive we talked about Ronny’s memories of when his life wasn’t so bad. As we waited… saying everything but goodbyes. 33

Minuets passed. The shade allowing the cold air to form Goosebumps on my skin, Ronny sat looking at the sky as the clouds swirled into recognisable shapes and feelings. Before long there was the familiar sound of the Eva’s van rustling down the street. 34

“Here they come,” Ronny looked down. 35

“I’m going to miss you.” 36

“Hey it’s not goodbye, you’ll still see me! Anyway you’ll be better off with Madrona” she was a really compassionate person and a wonderfully mother. Waving as the van drove off, a warm feeling setting in my soul… 37

Sitting back into my seat I looked over my desk, straightened the papers, threw out all the old sticky notes and did several other scrupulous tasks. At long last I picked up my pen; foggy, black, partly transparent, acrylic pen. Breathing a sigh of relief as I crossed out ‘Help Ronny’ from my ‘To do list.’ All that was left was ‘Go shopping (see shopping list)’, ‘Go to meeting’ and ‘Do the cleaning’. 38

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