Hello my name is Blood.I lost everything in a werewolf raid on my village everything ecxept my sister mara. her name means god of death we are trying to find a new village to live in temporarily while we travel to find and wreak revenge on the werewolfs we dont have to worry about the sun were daywalkers its winter here in the himilayas we dont have to worry about the cold but the snow will slow down our trave some
In a list
what kind of feeling did this story give you
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This story definately needs to be tweeked. Not enough is known about the attack, the characters are weak, and the imagery is almost no existent. What you have here is a weak prelude that does need work.
You have a good beginning it just needs quite a bit of work to make it a good read. Just keep working on it.
I do like stories about were wolves and day walkers could mean vampires and I do like vampire stories very much.
So in my eyes you have a promising story here just needs work.
thanks for sharing
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just so u know
ok im telling u this just so you know im going to finish editing my story after i finish writing it lalalallalalallalalallalalallalalalallalallalalalallalallalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalallalqlalalalallalallalalallalalallllalalalallalalalaalla -
interesting.
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Bad
not a very good start, but could posibly be improved into something passable as a story, read my short story 'the blood moon' for ideas for starting a horror story.beginning: 1, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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lots of spelling errors
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it doesn't have any feeling at all right now... needs alot of revision.
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look at your pic! omg its so cute! Isnt that the one who says :Im link?
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