***Intro***1
"Hurry up! The baby is being born, RIGHT NOW!" A very wild looking woman screamed into the cell she carried.2
"I'm on my way. Just keep calm and lay down. The Doc is with you so everything should be fine. Listen to what he says, and nothing should go wrong." came a sweet voice flowing out of the phone.3
"I need you here now! Not ten minutes from now! Not even two seconds from now! She must be born! She must be born..."The last words came out in a whisper, and tears fell into place across her face.4
"Sis, stay calm. Don't worry everything will be fine. She will be fine. No one is going to hurt her. You have guards all over the place." His voice helped her, but the pain of the whole mess was getting to her.5
"Oh, so it is already time. Sorry to keep you waiting, but you had cake in the ice box. I have a strong sweet tooth." The doctor gave a heart warming smile. 6
Three hours later, Lacy Blacken was born and hidden from the world (at least from those that wanted her to never be born) 7
8
***Chapter 1:In The Mirror***9
Looking in the mirror, I see all that makes me different. My fingers trace the words across my neck, "Lifeless" it spells. I feel a need to protect these words, so I always wear chokers. The only time I can't hid them is at gym. 10
"Lacy, you coming?" The girl that stands beside me is Annie Gunther, a shy 16 year old girl. 11
"You look as cute as ever, Ann" I try very heard to make her smile, and become more friendly toward people, but she doesn't trust people very well. 12
Ignoring what I said, she goes on "Gym class has already started, and you are still hiding in the locker room."13
"Okay then. Let's go." I grab her arm and pull her toward the door. 14
"Thanks for finally joining, girls. Today we are playing basketball. Please pick your teams." Mrs. Emerson is a bitch of a gym teacher, who ever ended up with her I feel sorry for. "Lucy and Annie, since you two decided to be late, please fill free to run laps the whole time."15
Running laps around the gym is easy for me. I never get tired, but Ann gets tired and sore quick. "Lets get to our laps."16
"We wouldn't be doing laps if you hadn't been staring at yourself in the mirror." She ran slow, but I stayed beside her for fear she might faint. I am her only friend, so I have to take care of her.17
"Well, I just look that good." I try my best to grin at her with a none fake smile, but she can see through my fake ones.18
"What's wrong?" she looked at me with curious eyes. Neither one of us was running anymore; We just stared at each other. The strange silence was to much for me.19
"Nothing." I laughed with a forced emotion. I could see she didn't believe me, but she smiled and began to run again anyways.20
"So what's for lunch?" It was just small talk from then on. I was glad she let it drop. How could I tell her I had that nightmare again. I can't even remember all of it. The pieces I can don't make sense at all. In the dream there is always death and blood. I think I'm fotgeting something important, but what?21
"Hit the showers!" Mrs. Emerson's voice shocked me out of my deep thoughts. My feet led me to the girls locker room on the other side of the basketball court.22
"Lacy, hurry up! You can run a mile in less then 3 minutes, but you can't walk 50 feet in ten. You are so slow somtimes that it makes me wonder." Annie's half smile told me that she was trying to get me to feel better so I showed her my best smile and lightened my dark blue eyes to give me a happier look.23
"Hurry up! The baby is being born, RIGHT NOW!" A very wild looking woman screamed into the cell she carried.2
"I'm on my way. Just keep calm and lay down. The Doc is with you so everything should be fine. Listen to what he says, and nothing should go wrong." came a sweet voice flowing out of the phone.3
"I need you here now! Not ten minutes from now! Not even two seconds from now! She must be born! She must be born..."The last words came out in a whisper, and tears fell into place across her face.4
"Sis, stay calm. Don't worry everything will be fine. She will be fine. No one is going to hurt her. You have guards all over the place." His voice helped her, but the pain of the whole mess was getting to her.5
"Oh, so it is already time. Sorry to keep you waiting, but you had cake in the ice box. I have a strong sweet tooth." The doctor gave a heart warming smile. 6
Three hours later, Lacy Blacken was born and hidden from the world (at least from those that wanted her to never be born) 7
8
***Chapter 1:In The Mirror***9
Looking in the mirror, I see all that makes me different. My fingers trace the words across my neck, "Lifeless" it spells. I feel a need to protect these words, so I always wear chokers. The only time I can't hid them is at gym. 10
"Lacy, you coming?" The girl that stands beside me is Annie Gunther, a shy 16 year old girl. 11
"You look as cute as ever, Ann" I try very heard to make her smile, and become more friendly toward people, but she doesn't trust people very well. 12
Ignoring what I said, she goes on "Gym class has already started, and you are still hiding in the locker room."13
"Okay then. Let's go." I grab her arm and pull her toward the door. 14
"Thanks for finally joining, girls. Today we are playing basketball. Please pick your teams." Mrs. Emerson is a bitch of a gym teacher, who ever ended up with her I feel sorry for. "Lucy and Annie, since you two decided to be late, please fill free to run laps the whole time."15
Running laps around the gym is easy for me. I never get tired, but Ann gets tired and sore quick. "Lets get to our laps."16
"We wouldn't be doing laps if you hadn't been staring at yourself in the mirror." She ran slow, but I stayed beside her for fear she might faint. I am her only friend, so I have to take care of her.17
"Well, I just look that good." I try my best to grin at her with a none fake smile, but she can see through my fake ones.18
"What's wrong?" she looked at me with curious eyes. Neither one of us was running anymore; We just stared at each other. The strange silence was to much for me.19
"Nothing." I laughed with a forced emotion. I could see she didn't believe me, but she smiled and began to run again anyways.20
"So what's for lunch?" It was just small talk from then on. I was glad she let it drop. How could I tell her I had that nightmare again. I can't even remember all of it. The pieces I can don't make sense at all. In the dream there is always death and blood. I think I'm fotgeting something important, but what?21
"Hit the showers!" Mrs. Emerson's voice shocked me out of my deep thoughts. My feet led me to the girls locker room on the other side of the basketball court.22
"Lacy, hurry up! You can run a mile in less then 3 minutes, but you can't walk 50 feet in ten. You are so slow somtimes that it makes me wonder." Annie's half smile told me that she was trying to get me to feel better so I showed her my best smile and lightened my dark blue eyes to give me a happier look.23
Author notes
***I have the next couple of chapters written down on paper.... the only problem is i left the papers at my mom's.. so a i am going to begin another stroy and will hopefully finish this one some day... please still tell me what you think of all that is typed up on here.***
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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I loved it. I can't wait to read what your going to add on to it next. very good. love ya
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Very good
I liked it the preface was awesome- some minor type errors throughout the story but altogether very good! Can't wait for a followup!!!

beginning: 5, ending: 3.
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Good start
This is an interesting start. Some fun questions are raised that I'm curious to see the answers to. There are few problems which Jesus Lizard has pointed out, but all in all this is a good effort.
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First thing I'd like to point out is this part:
"I need you here now! Not ten minutes from now! Not even two seconds from now! She must be born! She must be born..."The last words came out in a whisper, and tears fell into place across her face."
it should be:
""I need you here now, not ten minutes from now, not even two seconds from now! She must be born! She must be born..."she *insert word like said or whispered or something here*, the last words came out in a whisper, and tears fell into place across her face."
The first chapter part kind of makes no sense, but since it isn't finished I guess you'll make it make sense when you finish it.
Corrections need to be made:
line 12: "I try very hard to make her smile"
line 13: "Ignoring what I said, she goes on, "Gym Class has already started..."
line 10: "the only time I can't hide them"
line 18: "non-fake smile"
I also think it doesn't make a lot of sense that she seems to be trying to gain Annie's friendship but later it's like they've been friends for years.
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Thanks
i will be sure to change all that when i type the rest of this chapter next week... im new to writing novels.. i mostly write poetry so i need all the help i can get... poetry has no rules...^_^... so thanks
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Great start. I'd like to know why people didn't want lacy to be born and why she has lifeless writen on her neck. Keep writing it's good

-Snow -
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thanks...
srry i will finish this chapter and being typing the rest next week.... computer is being stupid...
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1 - 7 of 7





