Humans are a weak and stupid race compared to vampires few are worthy of being turned even then rarely do they ever become as powerful as full bloods but they still have their uses such as feeding but their not much threat to us as compared to the wolfs alone there just an annoyance but in great numbers they can be deadly my name is blood and this is my story1
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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interesting please right more
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awesome
The beginning captured my interest...can't wait to read more -
cool
i like this story i cant wait to see where its going -
tehehehehehe
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Thanks for sharing this interesting opening with us.
(Humans are a weak and stupid race )
I love this statement. It needs to stand by itself not get lost in a whole paragraph.
And while, this beginning is a great hook to capture your reader, it needs some punctuation and editing (don’t we all
).
Watch out for words like their and they’re and there. Their is a possessive pronoun (Their computer broke.) They’re is a contraction meaning they are. (They’re not much threat)
Humans are a weak and stupid race (.) compared (Compared) to vampires (,) few are worthy of being turned (even then rarely do they ever become as powerful as full bloods ( but they still have their uses such as feeding (.) but their (They’re) not much threat to us as compared to the wolfs (wolves). alone (Alone,)there (they’re) just an annoyance but in great numbers they can be deadly (.) my (My) name is blood and this is my story (.)2
Welcome to SW, we have groups where Vampire and Werewolves abound
. So do join them. If we can help let us know.
Geri
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AWESOME!!! Can't wait to see where this goes!!! *is very excited!!*
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