Colors Child

1

or The Lab, Two2

Born, as usual, in the car. Only this time around I did not jot down any notes, the traffic was too dense to take any risks. And I heard that some lamp posts colluded to give me a warm crushing embrace, so I decided to play it careful on this occasion, too much was at stake. And anyway, most of it was already sitting well implanted in my head.3

#4

"Daddy, what if the sky was all of it covered with rainbows all the time? What would we do then?"5

I looked at her, barely five year old and asking already philosophical questions. I don't think I have been as wise at her age, not that I had any chance remembering myself at her age. I wish I could say she was as wise as her mother. Only she had no mother. My eyes clouded in tenderness tears.6

"Then we would wait patiently for the rain to bring up this one beautiful arc of deep blue in the sky and write poetry about it."7

"Daddy, and if the world was fully fully fully covered with a thick carpet of red roses, and violet lilac, and yellow daisies?"8

"Then we would start crossing mountains and valleys and terrible dangers looking desperately for that one single leaf of green grass and build walls around it and place armies to protect it and write poetry about it."9

I hated those questions. Not today of all days, yet, as if she guessed my mind set she insisted on continuing them with innocent determination. Was she trying to postpone the moment? Was she reading my mind, I thought, unwillingly diverting my eyes from her?10

"Daddy, what if the world was full only with white skinned light haired people? What would happen then?"11

I did not answer immediately, thinking back to my miserable earlier failed project, code name Adam, and this kid so much wiser now than I have been at that time so long ago. Had I the right to do what I was doing, had I the right to do what I was going to do?12

"My sweet girl, then the first black skinned curly haired baby girl to be born would have been idolized, and religions would be built around her, and wars fought to own the right to worship her, and poems be written about her."13

"Daddy, poetry is always so sad, is it because the world is full of happiness?14

She was not supposed to say that. She was barely at the stage of colors and even there she was too advanced and too knowledgeable for her age, this last question proved to me that she was learning too fast, we were not yet ready for that, they were not yet ready for that. Was she reading my mind, I asked myself again, this time looking straight into her eyes?15

"Daddy, why is my skin ebony black and my eyes emerald green and my blood topaz blue?"16

I felt like crying. I did not.17

"Because you are a project on my computer screen and I designed you the way I imagined you on my way to work five years ago, beautiful, intelligent, good, human."18

"Is this why I must die? Because I am beautiful, intelligent, good, human?"19

"No. Because you are different. And they are not yet ready for difference. I wonder if they ever will." She did read my mind, now I knew it. She was much better than I ever intended her to be and therefore now she had to... go. The pain in my heart was terrible.20

"Will I ever come to life again? Will you keep me somewhere safe till it is time?"21

I stretched my hand to the screen, seeing her smile lighting up at the touch of my fingertips on her cheek 22

"I will keep you here..." I said pointing to my head, "... and here," I said pointing to my heart. "And one day I will bring you to life again," I smiled. Then, swiftly turned the main switch off before she had any time to read my mind again. It just may take my whole eternity till that time would come.23

# 24

I drove back home, the pain in my heart thicker than the clouds in my eyes. Somehow, I suddenly did not mind anymore meeting that lamp post head on, straight.25