How was he to know that this would happen? This wasn't supposed to happen.....what was he to do? the night had grown darker in more ways than one...his heart grew weak at the thought of her lying there in the arms of the man that had took his life.....alone now....just like his grandfather had told him....the memories where all he had left....now a ghost....forgotten in the minds of the ones that he had loved.....the darkness had no security for him only pain in more ways than one...as he gazes at his beloved that lay.... sleeping as peacefully as a newborn child wrapped in the arms of it's mother..........how he wished that he could be held again like the way she once did.....on that night when he found her alone....why did this happen? His love.......his heart had now died.....to be forgotten.......for him to be alone....for all eternity1
Author notes
well this is another one that i wrote for my story...i will eventually get round to finishing it....and putting the pices together
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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thank-you...i've changed it now.. but i have a feeling it's still not right...thank-you for your help
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I don't mind at all. Feel free to take any suggestion that I make.
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that sounds great, it's a great suggestion am going to change it now...you don't mind if i use it do you?
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Perhaps if you worded it "how he wished that he could be held again, as she once held him/as once held by her." It's just a suggestion.
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emm i don't now myself, well i guess for me it means that when he was held by her he felt complete, safe and whole. as anyone thinks he wants what he can't have. or something along those lines
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I like the read of this, but the way that I read it in my mind, the flow that I feel with this, does not go along with the punctuation.
I have a question. "how he wished that he could be held like the way she once did" is a confusing line to me. I wish that I understood what it meant, because everything else I think that I can figure out.
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