Nick's Story (not finished or titled yet)

So I guess I just convinced myself it was time. Stop being so immature about all of this.  I needed to get over him before I got myself hurt again (I'd end up getting hurt more in the process than I would have ever imagined nonetheless).  What was i Supposed to do anyway?  I just had to make stuff up.  Never really being around Nick in person made it that much harder to find faults. What was the whole point of this all? I decided I needed to see him.  I needed to be able to experience what I felt for him live and in-person, and the only way that could happen was if I ran away.  Of course my thoughts were all very rational, it was all part of making myself a better person. 1

That night, I began loosely planning the rest of my life, gathering and counting all the money i had to see if I could make busfare, and thinking carefully about what I would do when i got down there.  Nick had always promised a place to stay if I needed one, that's what I relied on.  $300.  I had $300 saved up, I was proud.  Train ride would probably be cheaper, I thought, more dangerous, but less money.I was running away, but ,for some reason I'm not quite sure of, I was totally okay with it.  For once, I was getting along with my family, even my grades werent too terrible, but I guess this was just too important and it didn't matter what i was leaving behind.  2

I sat down on my bed with a notebook and a pen.  In blue ink, I scribbled the words 'I'm coming soon, I'll be there as soon as I can.'  I wasnt through with him yet, I couldnt help but end it with a simple I love you.  As i folded the paper up my heart jumped and was beating so fast from this sheer excitement.  This would be a grand adventure, I was sure of it.  The next day I went to the train station (as far as my parents were concerned, I was at a friend's house studying) and bought a one way-for I didnt know how long I needed- ticket Washington, Seattle to be specific.  My train left during what would be my forth period class, math, that I wasnt too upsdet about.  3

That night I went carefully through all my clothes and possesions, sorting through what and what not to take wit me.  I grabbed up my notebook and pen again and wrote a short letter:4

Mom and Dad, 5

I'm safe so please don't worry about me, I need to sort things out in my life and will come back as soon as I can,6

Your daughter. 7

I set it on my mostly-empty bed so that they would see it easily.  I put a pillow, stuffed animal and my sheet set in ym suitcase along with my clothes and other belongings. That night, I said goodnight to my parents and sister for the very last time.  8

The trainride was unevental and, aside from a tall man being accused of stealing a woman's purse (she had misplaced it), went without a hitch. We arrived in Seattle safely the next day.  I climbed off the train and ran to a payphone to call him. 9

"Guess where I am?"10

"In your room?"  He sounded confused and tired.11

"I'm at the trainstation!"  I squeaked a little with excitement. 12

"Then go home and call me, sweetheart, payphones are expensive." 13

"Nick," I paused, " You'll have to come get me..." He didnt say anything and I could tell he had no idea what I was saying. "Come down to the station and pick me up, ok?  I'll explain it then, I'm almost out of time."  His still confused 'okay' assured me that he would at least come.14

I waited 15 minutes until I saw his 1980's blue stationwagon in the near distance.  He stopped in front of me and rolled down the passenger-side window.  "Can I take you somewhere?"  I smiled with a silent laugh "I dont know, how much are you willing to pay?"  He smiled with that same silent laugh and said " we can talk about that in the car, cant we?"  I laughed as he got out of his car and unlocked the back to put my suitcase inside.  I jumped in the front seat.  It was another 10 minutes until we got back to his apartment, the conversation went something like this:15

"You ran away, didn't you?"16

"Only for a little while, I wrote my parents a note saying that I'd be back when everything was sorted out."17

"Oh," long pause,"You look different from when I saw you that one time."18

"Is that a bad different?"19

"No, you still look beautiful."20

"Thanks."  He reached his hand out and grabbed mine, pure ecstasy. We were stopped at a red light.  21

"You remember what I said when you asked me what I would do if I saw you again?"  Of course I remembered, he told me he would kiss me- I answered that comment back with something like 'I'm not sure if I'd stop you, to which he said 'I know you wouldn't'- and then he did, and I didn't.  A car behind us hoked it's horn, I don't know how long the light had been green. 22

We got to his small apartment and he gave me a tour.  "Are you staying at a hotel? I mean it'd be hceaper to stay here, unless you don't want to."23

" That would be nice, thanks," I said, " I'll be fine on the couch or the floor or something."24

"You can sleep in my bed,well, without me in it of course, I can sleep on the couch just fine."25

"Oh," I paused, "Thanks."26

"I think my roomate is going to get here soon, you want to wait here so you can meet him or you know we can go somewhere else, what do you think?" I plopped myself down on their couch, "Here is just fine"27

He sat down next to me and held me until I fell asleep ( which didn't take long, I'd barely slept the last three days).  I woke up with a blanket wrapped around me.  I heard Nick and, I'd guessed, his roomate talking.28

"So why'd she come all the way here?"29

"To see me, I  think, she said she needed to sort things out in her life too, I don't know what that means"30

"How long is she gonna stay?"31

"Until she wants to leave."32

"Then you're paying for her."33

"that's alright," he said, he sighed. 34

I mumbled something and pretended to just be waking up.  Nick came over and sat on the arm of the couch, ran his fingers through my hair, and kissed my forehead.  Then he said something, and I knew when he said it that I would'nt be here to get over him from that point on.35

"I love you."36

His roomate's name was Jason, he was tall with dark brown hair and a smile to die for.  The two of them decided to show me around town.  The first place we stopped was an antique shop, Nick knew how much I loved them.  He bought me a vase I really liekd and promised that we would get flowers for it the next day.  I didn't think Jason liked me very much as a person, maybe it was the seemingly obvious questions I would ask or my stupid laugh. 37

Nick felt bad about leaving me at the apartment, since he had to work.  I told him it would be fine, when he got off work at ten, I would still be there.  "I'll probably just sleep while you're gone anyway."  He gave me a hug and walked out the door.  About ten seconds later, he walked back in. 38

"Forget something?"39

"Yeah," and he kissed me again, a short, simple kiss which left me dumbfounded.  "I love you." My lungs squeezed out a 'goodbye' as he walked out the door a second time. 40

"I guess he really likes you," Jason said as he walked out from behind the hallway corner. 41

"What?" I was confused as to why he would even care.42

"You ran away from home to be with him, I'd think you'd really like him too."43

"That's the exact opposite of why I came here,"  I paused for a while, looking at the confusion in Jason's eyes and getting the strength to say it, " I came here so I could get over him, I think he's just screwing around with me."44

"Well," he said, " I'm glad you've realized it, it's true.  He thinks of you like any other girl on this earth."  He stopped long enough to soak in the pain in my own eyes. "All girls are the same to him, I'm not sure if he has feelings."45

He led me to come sit down on the couch with him.  I knew it was true all along, but having it verbally said to me by another person, I broke.  Jason held me as I cried.  He told me that Nick really wasn't worth my tears.  I knew that, I just didn't know how else to react. That's when it happened.  The moment my heart lifted and sank at the same time.  The moment Jason, a boy I had met just hours before, kissed me.46