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To the man I shouldn't have loved...2
Tonight the rain is forbidden. Tonight, you will dine out in the lawn with your wife and kids. A perfect picture of a perfect home. And the rain has no place there.3
But - like everything improbable, like everything that would rather not have happened - it will rain tonight. Look. Hear the faint murmurs turn into rumbling moans. Feel the thirst of the soil before those first droplets touch its surface. For once, leave behind the thoughts of whether the kids are catching cold or she is uncomfortable. For once, let that perfect picture be washed away and make way for new brush-strokes. For once, set your soul free. Soak in the rain. Become it.4
Because tonight, somewhere, this rain will be quenching an all-consuming fire. An intense flame that scorches and sears through everything on its way. Leaving behind a scarred, barren landscape.5
© Mandy M. 20056
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Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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unique verse
hello and hai ur above presentation is really marvolous and very unique i admire it and the essence is also very gud but and u r colaburater with creater as a new way of presenting the emotion or so called poems.keep it up.
1 thing can u b precise whether it was fiction or fact?
bye tak care -
i liked this but i think thirsty soil is a cliche
JT -
Chic!!!
My goodness, girl, you are all of what you say in your author page and much, much more. This one sample is more than enough to prove you are honest and telling the very truth about you. Now I believe you one hundred thousand percent.
Now about what you have written above. The imagery is good, the theme is great, the form is not new really. I have read such forms before, people who write in paragraph format, but don't really know what form they call it.
Whether you win or not is secondary, you brought a smile to my face and made some people think pretty hard. Now that is some thing, don't you think? Worth all the trouble you took to write this stuff, I mean.
Anyway good luck in the contest, I know you won't win though!!!
Love from India (Coimbatore) - Joel - -
That is just fabulous!! There is a poignant and mellodramatic feel to it. Definitely one of the best prose poems I've ever read!
I don't know if the way I interpreted your metaphors was right but Joliemere's comments made me read it again more precisely and it makes the piece all the more breathyaking!
Great! -
Your metaphors astound and amaze me! I love the " Feel the thirst of the soil before those first droplets touch its surface" and " tonight, somewhere, this rain will be quenching an all-consuming fire. An intense flame that scorches and sears through everything on its way" In my interpretation this is referring to the people. The soil being the lover that has another family..and the fire being in the soul of the one who holds unrequited love. Am i right? Great Write!!!
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holy f**, this is awesome! I love the description and the sentiment and the imagery. Even though it is not a normal style for poetry, it still gives the impression of being poetry because of the stuccato ideas.
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yeah i did say any style, i just didn't quite know whether this was a story type
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I don't know. This is more of a write with a poetic quality and it's not quite a short story, so I think I won't mind it being called a poem. And you'll certainly notice that the only difference between this piece and standard poems is the absence of line breaks at (in)appropriate places. So... why not start a new trend?
Btw, I think you said any style...
Mandy
Edited on Feb 19, 12:21 because ''. -
I guess you'll consider editing your comment once you notice why I wasted your points... thank you, I'll appreciate that.
Mandy -
Interesting. Don't quite relate, but good job anyway......Look forward to reading more Keep it up
Edited on Feb 19, 2:12 p.m. because 'missunderstanding'. -
hey i liked reading this, but my contest is for poems, is this a poem?
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Yeah, thanks! I'd SO love his wife to die and his kids to call me mom and HIM to sleep with me too.... won't that be fun?
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Oh...this is so...depressing
And eerie and creepy and sad Oh, this is so good...much love and I hope things work out for you 
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