Here in Half-Moon Bay, California, nothing interesting ever happens. I mean, the occasional gossip and death here and there, but nothing truly interesting. I didn't exactly know what I wanted, but I wanted something to occur. Life was simple; I went to work in the mornings and then off to Standford by noon. Yeah, it's around an hour drive but the commute was well worth it. 2
In this town, filled with nothing interesting, were bland colours. The light green trees, sparkling waters, and the faded browns and tans were stunningly beautiful to a newcomer. But a twenty-one year old woman (who has lived here all of her life) it was bland as bland could be. I know I was occasionally puerile in how my attitude to life was, but once you can drink... life is supposed to be heading somewhere. Somewhere but here. And I was stuck here.3
"Ms. Summer," someone called from behind me. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was; Jesse, the infamous cutie of Half-Moon Bay. I don't know what I had done to earn his seductive glances and smirking smiles, frankly I hated how he carried himself as if he knew me.4
"Yes, Jesse?" I tried to sound upbeat at the prospect of talking to him, but utterly failed. Did it matter? Maybe I was trying to assuage the subtle message that I was nice but didn't want any relationships with him. He was cute, nice, and had a good education, but I just didn't want a player as my boyfriend. 5
"It's a nice day, don't you think?" A totally pointless conversation; a useless conversation starter, already I was dreading the conversation. "I do love the colours today," shooting a sideways glance at him I noticed that he truly meant what he had just said. Oh great. But, I'll cut him a little slack 'cause he can't hear what I was thinking.6
"Well," I'm brilliant, a great way to start off a conversation, "I really hate this town and the colours. Everything seems so lifeless. Where are the reds, the sharp blues, and we're even missing the classic yellows! This place is truly subfusc." Jesse shot me a look and I turned to stare at him. His short brown locks bounced against his head and his grin was childish, even though we were talking about colours. Blue eyes sparkled with mirth, as if he was laughing at my absolute hate of the colours here. Jesse was taller than me so I had to look up, I admit that was a quality I was looking for in my men. Damn Jesse for having that quality. 7
"Once I'm done with college, I'm off to find a place far away from here. Far, far away." That had been my plan since I saw my older sister moving out for London. 8
"Maybe you should take a closer look at this town. Maybe you'll find something that you like." Jesse grinned that dazzling grin at me (damn him) and then strolled off, aloof to the world and the fact that he had just gotten the last word with me, Summer Greens. 9
Shaking my head I finished my walk to my work, the Moon Ink Bookstore, and slipped back into my normal life without Jesse. Often enough my parents mentioned that Jesse seemed absolutely smitten with me (I brushed those comments off) and that I should stop being such a cowardly woman. My step-mother nicely put that I was scared because I didn't know what Jesse saw in me. Maybe that's true. 10
I was short and slightly plump from one to many sweets as a child, my red hair was untameable and my pale face was covered in freckles. Now at age twenty-one, I had no prospects ahead of me and was perfectly fine with my weight. 11
I promptly forgot about the whole conversation with Jesse for the rest of the day.12
[x]13
I was up and out of my bed before my alarm clock went off. Today I had the early shift at the bookstore and I didn't mind. With no one up that early I could read as many books as I desired without being interrupted. Even Jesse didn't wake up at the crack of dawn just to talk to me (he wasn't that smitten with me). 14
The sky was a pretty grey as I made my way to the small bookstore. There was a little dance in my step as I thought of all the books I could read and the time I could spend without Jesse. A day without Jesse is surprising, 'cause he seems to pop up EVERYWHERE! Fog slightly clouded my vision but I knew the streets well enough that sight wasn't totally required.15
But, as I neared the bookstore I noticed something different. Something red glaring up at me from in front of the bookstore's doors. Curious, because nothing in this town seemed red, I bent down next to the unknown item. 16
When my face was a mere inch away from the object, I noticed that it was a bright red flower that gave off the most ghastly smell ever. Wrinkling my nose I made to throw it out, or hide it somewhere, when I noticed a yellow card hanging off of the side of the pot. Mumbling some curses I snatched the card and placed the flower back on the ground, far away from my nose.17
"Hey," an unfamiliar scrawl greeted me, "just wanted to brighten up your day! Sorry for the horrid smell, you can't get everything perfect!" And underneath the writing was a large 'J' with a couple of loops. 18
Jesse, I almost growled out loud, I loved the thought but the smell? Swiftly I deposited the plant out by the back so I could grab it later as I walked home. Maybe I would keep it. But it was likely that I would toss it in the nearest compost box before it reached my apartment. 19
[x]20
The morning went by uneventful, Jesse didn't show up to woo me so I was fine. Or was I? Every time someone walked into the room I glanced up, hoping it was him. 21
[x]22
Morning came by again in a jiffy. I hadn't seen Jesse in a whole day and I was wondering if something was up. Usually I spotted him on the Standford campus waiting for his best friend or even for me, but not yesterday.23
Shrugging on my jacket I followed my familiar path to the bookstore. Looking up once last time at my building I saw the bright red that shone from my open window. Blushing, I turned away and thrust all thoughts of Jesse from my head. 24
The roads to the Moon Ink Bookstore were deserted, as always, but I was in a hurry to get to the bookstore. It seemed as if the familiar smell of books and ink was calling to me. This time I didn't really focus on the lack of colours or how boring this town was, my only thought was the bookstore.25
Again, I saw the flash of red in front of the bookstore and I froze. Had he done it again? And why was I feeling so happy about it? Could I actually be accepting Jesse? No... he's... he's... just so... OK, you caught me. I lost all my reasoning to hate him. 26
Picking up this new flower I found the yellow card instantly. This time the flower was unmistakeably a red poppie that actually smelled good! Evidently Jesse learned that bad smelling flowers was a turn-off. Flipping the gaudy yellow card open I read the, now familiar, scrawl that covered most of the card.27
"Hey, miss me yesterday? Had some problems occurring. Hope you like this better smelling flower!" Then the 'J' and that was it. Simple, yet sweet? I pocketed the note and unlocked the bookstore, setting the poppies inside to add some life to the place.28
[x] 29
"Hello," a loud voice startled me up from my intense reading mood. Mr. Darcy was just asking Ms. Elizabeth for a dance when Jesse interrupted. My head snapped up hard enough to get a whiplash and I grimaced. Jesse stood over me, his face turned down and a humorous smile on his lips.30
"Hey, thanks for the flowers." I blushed, the heat rising up to my face and Jesse smirked. His smirk irked me and I swiftly scowled back. Stupid boy. 31
He took a moment to look at the poppies that rested next to me and then back to my blushing face. "Like them?" he drawled out, amusement flickering in those blue eyes. A flash of red hot anger rushed through me and I stood up. Jesse annoyed me but today he seemed to have gotten up on the sardonic side of the bed; screw him!32
"Maybe."33
"Looks like you liked them, a lot."34
"How do you know?" 35
"I walked by your apartment and I saw the flowers in your window." He knew where my window was? Perverted peeping Tom! Or perverted peeping Jesse...36
"And...?" Oh, aren't I witty? 37
"And, I was wondering if you would like more flowers?" Lame as that sounded it warmed my heart.38
"Uh, sure?" Aren't I bright? My brain seems to be frozen which resulted in my vocal being two or three words. Oh joy. But, Jesse smiled and for once, I smiled back before scowling. "Now, would you mind? I'm in the middle of a very serious story!" 39
"Sure, tell me if Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth make up." And he left with me staring wide-eyed after him. 40
[x]41
The next day, I received three red flowers on my door step with yellow notes that all read the same thing. "Like them?" this time he signed them.42
Walking to the bookstore with a dance in my step and a smile on my face. Today, I thought, was going to be a good day.43
The End
Author notes
As you can see, the connection is the red flowers and the yellow cards. If you look close enough you can tell I used blue too (try and find it!).
I've been brain dead for awhile and I'm trying to come back into my writing! (I call you, Lauren, as my editor for LIFE!)
I wrote this on WordPad, which seems to NOT HAVE SPELL CHECK! *screams*
Thank you Violet Moodswing for nominating me! It's a pleasure!
DEDICATION: Everyone who I met in Cali. My mom's friend, my cousins, even the nice people in the hotels!
Edited:
- 7/15
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In a list
A contest entry
- Go for the Gold--Show us your Primary Colors by Violet Moodswing.
600 points, ended July 24, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Like it? Give me your thoughts on this.
Comments
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What a fresh love story. Not the usual boy gets girl. Lovely, wonderful. quite a breath odf fresh air. I liked Jesse, persistant but sweet.
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Thank you! :] I wanted something away from the regular.
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Nice Read
Your story flows well. Your dialog was good and you didn't have any errors in grammar. Good job! I always like it when the underdog gets something... the "plump" girl getting the playboy guy...
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Thank you. I was tired of all the cheerleaders with jocks sort of thing.
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wonderfully written. very cute... i love pride and prejudice!!!!
chey-bear
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Thank you. I love Pride & Prejudice too!
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A wonderful write that keeps the reader moving through from start to finish. It is romantic but in a lighthearted way that keeps it from being normal day to day mush
. Great use of the prompts as well.
Best of luck in the contest. -
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Thank you. I'm glad I didn't overdo it!
Good luck grading the contest!
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This is to all the people in Cali? That's sweet!
I found stanford to be really pretty, but like she said, I'm just a person passing through.
Yes! I have a client...woot! -
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Yeah, so this is pretty much dedicated to you too!

A client? -
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Yeah...client...editor...put them together...duh!
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Absolutly wonderful!
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Heh. Shoot me I finally got around to reading this. And I'll read that other one too - I forget what it's called... but I'll read it. PROMISE!!
Ohmygosh Lisa!! I love it! Loooove. IT. saodfghpsdjogtnasodhfozxxmncfxcg.
Love it!
Ok. Firstly first things first... I love how you didn't make summer infinitely beautiful and able to get any guy she wants. This way it seems more realistic.
Also, I adore Jesse! He's such a sweetie! It seems so kind of him to give Summer all the flowers and stuff. But I want more interactions between the two.
I liked the word choice, too, it really brought the story to life!
And now since I'm a a loser I'll pick out some things that I thought could use some improvement. XD I have no life! *shot*
M'kay. I found a few things that you could work on...
Paragraph 2:
The first sentence doesn't make sense.
"In this town, filled with nothing interesting, was bland colours."
'was' should be 'were'. :]
And I think in the third sentence (too lazy to scroll up and check - haha) I think you meant: "But TO a woman of twenty one" or something like that.
Paragraph 7:
When she's saying "where are the colors?" you forgot a question mark at the end.
Also, when you're talking about how she likes tall men (hehe) you use the word "quality" twice in rapid succession. I think your writing would sound better if you changed one of them.
Paragraph 10:
Mother in law?! SHE'S MARRIED?! Do you mean step-mother? Or something?!
Paragraph 15:
Summer seems a little happy about NOT seeing Jesse. Huh? Maybe you could explain that a bit more. Does he rub her the wrong way? Why does she feel like that?
Paragraph 26:
I don't exactly understand why Summer disliked him in the first place!
Grrah write more! Love you and miss you tons!!
♥Maureen♥


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:] Thanks!
I finally got around to edit this! [I can't belive I wrote this without Word! Or spell check! The horror!]
I liked Summer so much that I didn't want her perfect. :] And I almost made Jesse as a total asshole and hot head.
Bad me!
Thanks for the editing! I'm missing you! D: I won't come home until 4 days left.
Love ya,
Lisa (OMG not VW!) -
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Well that sucks because I'm leaving for Houston tomorrow!! D: I think I'll be back on Monday but who knows. *shrugs* I'll see if I can get on here through my daddy's iPhone! >:]
[i lOV3 Li$A!!]
.♥. Maureen .♥.
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Lovely lovely lovely!!! lisa this is wonderfully well written! u better write more or else... i'll... come over and hurt u. hahahaha
I'm growing very attached to your characters! They have interesting, realistic personalities.
Itches: haha
Sorry, but not many people would say:
"This place is truly subfusc." Unless you read the dictionary everyday. Don't get me wrong, you had great word choice! But a little bit of the dialog didn't seem very natural.
Another time it didn't sound right was when he wrote, had some problems occurring (28).
Other then that (which isn't much at all. you don't even have to change it) it was amazing! KEEP WRITING!!!! -
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Thanks!
I was using my vocab words and it just so happened that 'subfusc' was in it. Summer, to me, seems to be a person who uses a lot of vocab words in regular sentences.
:] I heard you were out-of-state for like... FOREVER!
Cali is ROCKING right now!
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well u gotta have a good subfusc kinda word in ur writing. hahahahha
ya i was in new york. for forever. but i'm back now... *scratches head* how long is forever then?
GET BACK FROM CALI RIGHT NOW MISSY!!! -
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I've been back for the last two days.
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hmm... then... that's good.
u. maureen. me. do. something. today. now. too. bad. if. u. dont. like. it!
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Interesting story, i liked the way you brought in the characters thoughts, you could develop the dialogue a little more to allow the reader to know more about your characters and make it even more interesting, but great write, i enjoyed it!


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Thank you! I'll try and edit it more to add some more dialog. My intent was supposed to tell a story without too much dialog. Like how the main character can fall for the man without too much talking.
Thanks for commenting!
Cheers,
VW
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