Untitled French Haiku Compilation

Seul, elle assied.
Attrapé dans ses pensées,
elle n'est plus vivant.1

Elle a essayé,
mais elle ne peut pas oublier.
Ce n'est pas facile. 2

Elle ne veut pas d'aide.
"Laissez-moi seul", elle a dit
encore et encore.3

Ils l'ont consommé.
Les mémoires ne cessent jamais.
La lutte continue.4

Sa vie était vide,
et elle ne le combat plus.
Elle n'a pas de force.5

Espoir est perdu,
et avec un coup, elle part.
"Au revoir" elle dit.6


Enfin, c'est finit.
Mourant, elle se sent vivant,
et elle est libre.

Author notes

I'm pretty good with french grammar, but please point out any mistakes.

TRANSLATION
Alone, she sits.
Trapped in her thoughts,
she is no longer alive.

She has tried,
but she cannot forget.
It isn't easy.

She doesn't want help.
"Leave me a alone" she says,
again and again.

They consumer her.
The memories never stop.
The fight continues.

Her life is empty,
and she doesn' fight it anymore.
She doesn't have the strength.

Hope is lost,
and with a blow, she leaves.*
"Au revoir" she says.

Finally, it's over.
Dying, she feels alive,
and she is free.

* I mean blow as in maybe a gunshot? I wanted to say cut but it did not fit.

My first attemnpt at a nonhumorous poem, and also my first attempt at a French work. The syllables are 5-7-5 in the French, obviously not in the English.

I am a female.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • AleMor
    October 26
    Edit | Reply

    I love it!!

    You is so original with yo' FRench Haikus,gurl!

    But seriously this is so great! I'm no good at writing decent poems of any type really. I love that you wrote them in French. And thanks for the translation because, while I was able to understand basically what was being said in French, the translation helped out a lot.


  • Black Dragon15
    July 24

    Edit | Reply
    This was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It's very hard not make a poem in this topic cliched, but you executed it perfectly!

    Very deep, and the fact that each verse is a Haiku on it's own, really makes it all the more amazing.

    Excellent job, and good luck!!

  • Shadowed Phoenix
    July 20

    Edit | Reply
    I'm going to try and learn french for my second language since I failed misrably at spanish. Good thing you had translations because I really had no idea what you were saying in french.

    I love Hiku poems because I can't write them myself and they are fun to read. The topic wasn't exactly origional but the poem was awsome. Very well done indeed. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • NinjaMegami
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    I LOVE IT!!!!! Thanks a bunches for the translation!!!!!


  • callthexylophone
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    It was very good, the French version is very pretty. Velly velly pretty. I love this bit in the English translation-
    They consumer her.
    The memories never stop.
    The fight continues.
    'That Wal-mart; always consumering people.'

    I gives you three stars, because it was not cheesy at all, and it's hard to keep serious poetry from going cheesy. Does cheesy have a third e?


    • brittanyshanae
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      Why thanks. I thought the depression might come off as cheesy, but that's just where the poem went. "The fight continues" also translates to "the continuous fight". Thought was neat. French syllables can be trickaaaaay.

1 - 9 of 9