Crash and Burn

It was raining. Typical for April, I guess. I stared out the window of the cafe down onto the busy morning-rushed street, my face slumped into one hand, the other hand stirring my long-cold black coffee. I blinked absently, letting my eyes drift in and out of focus. I let out a breath I hadn't noticed I'd been holding and moved back the long sleeve of my black woolly turtleneck to read the time. Quarter past eight. Keith was late, as usual.1

The familiar jingling of the bells on the door marked his arrival. The noise was followed by a gust of cold, soggy air that moved my hair around for a second. Keith collapsed into the seat across from me a moment later, his dripping brown hair and jacket blocking my view of the city.2

"You're late," I mumbled, pulling my eyes to his face.3

"Yeah, I know. Sorry," he said, leaning his elbows on the table. "You all right?"4

"Never been better," I said unconvincingly, and he sat back, arms folded.5

"You've been crying again."6

"Have not."7

"I can see where your mascara smeared," he argued.8

"It's from the rain. I don't have a car anymore, remember?" I said bitterly, wiping under my eyes with the back of my hand. It came away black.9

He sighed. "Does the rain make your eyes all red and puffy too?"10

I looked away, not wanting the conversation to go any further.11

"Just get some waterproof mascara or something," he said, fumbling in his jacket pocket and pulling out a shoddily made duct tape wallet. "Wait here, I'm gonna go get a coffee. You want one?" he added, looking at my half-gone cold drink. I shrugged. He shrugged back and left to the counter, leaving me alone at the table again.12

Keith came back a minute later, one steaming cup in each hand, one pale brown and one black, the latter of which he moved in front of me.13

"I don't know how you drink this stuff black," he muttered, emptying a packet of sugar into his creamed-down cup.14

I shrugged again, looking at the dark liquid, still moving slightly from when it was carried and placed on the table. Neither of us said anything for a time and my eyes stayed glued to the coffee, watching as it slowly settled into a smooth, still surface. The only sound was the faint sound of cars passing outside and Keith's spoon hitting the sides of his cup as he stirred. Finally came the clatter of his spoon as he let go of it. "Talk to me, Liz," he pleaded quietly, lifting my chin so I was looking at him. "I want to know what's going on in that pretty head of yours."15

I met his gaze, careful not to let any emotion into my eyes. "You're not my shrink. Even if you were, you'd never understand."16

He let go of my chin and put his head into one hand. "You can do this, Liz. It's not the end of the world, okay?"17

I met his gaze fiercely, letting my raw emotions burn behind my eyes. "Yeah, you're right. So my dad died of cancer three years ago. Big deal, people die. That's not the end of the world. Oh, what's that? My mom got into a car wreck and died a month ago? That's nothing. But as for last week, when my fiancee, of all people, got SHOT in a drive-by shooting... That kind of thing doesn't happen, Keith." I bit my lip to keep it from trembling and willed away the tears I only let out when I was alone.18

"It's okay, hun," Keith said quietly, putting a hand on my shoulder. "I'm your best friend. Always have, always will be. I'm here for you, okay? No matter what."19

I looked angrily at the blackish tears that now lay on the table, wishing they would vanish. Taking a shaky breath, I calmed myself. "It seems like fate enjoys stripping my life of everyone I love, one by one. It's just not fair..." I stopped again, careful not to lose control again. "They said it would get better. But it seems the longer I wait, the worse my life gets."20

"I'm here," he repeated, then stood from his chair, crossed over to my chair and gave me a long hug. I cried silently into his shoulder, glad he couldn't see my face. "Everything will be all right, sweetie," he whispered into my ear. I suddenly felt like I was a little girl again, hugging my mom after skinning my knee outside. This only made me cry harder. 21

After a few minutes I let go of him, and he handed me a napkin from the table to wipe my eyes. 22

"Shall we go to that movie we wanted to see?" Keith said gently, resting his hand on my back. "It will take your mind off all this."23

I nodded, and we went out the door, our coffees untouched. 24

I looked down at the ground as we walked, not really listening as Keith went on about whatever movie we were off to. I wasn't even sure what it was called. He was looking over his shoulder, talking to me, which I guess makes the accident my fault. He stepped off the sidewalk by mistake and fell into the street, where at that moment a bus was driving by. I didn't even get to say goodbye. It's okay, though. I'll see him again, very soon. Him and my fiancee and all the people I love most.