When Jeff inherited his uncle's house he was thrilled. There were rumors of foul play in this house but a homeless man isn't picky . Jeff had plenty of time to explore. He was nearly finished with the closets when he found the silver box.1
A shiver went up his spine when he touched the ribbon. He tore open the box and groaned. There inside was a Santa suit. "Great! "he grumbled,"Just what I need." He threw the box on the floor and stretched out across the bed. He tried to think of something cheerful to lift his dark mood.2
The face of his girl friend Sheila drifted through his mind. She was supposed to come over tonight . He did not have a penny to spend on her but he remembered Sheila had a thing for role playing. He quickly began to throw on the suit. He went to the mirror and adjusted the beard. He was Santa! It was mesmerizing. He could not look away. The eyes in the mirror seemed to see right through him . "Don't judge me!" he yelled .3
A burning rage over came him and he punched the mirror, shattering it and cutting his hand. The blood shocked and excited him. In the broken mirror Santa smiled and stroked his bloody beard. Jeff turned and looked around. On the floor lay a butcher knife caked in dark brown blood. Where had that come from? He picked it up just as the door bell rang. "I wonder if Sheila will like this game? " he said to Santa in the mirror.4
The police found the body of the young woman with a silver ribbon tied around her throat. The sergeant took the rookie aside and said,"Looks like the Santa Claus killer isn't dead after all."
Author notes
*For Contest*
=]] Hope I wine [=
Missi
In a list
A contest entry
- Go for the Gold--Show us your Primary Colors by Violet Moodswing.
600 points, ended July 24, 2008, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Scribble Your Comments Below
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I love the last line LMAO. Amazing as always
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Definately a surprising turn of events. It has me wondering about the history of the suit and the Santa Killer. This would make a great intro to a longer story.
Well done and best of luck in the contest. -
*gasps*
That was bloody brilliant.
Very freakish, but amazing, none-the-less.
*claps* -
When i was reading the first para., I could not have expected the ending to be a total opposite!
nice work.
Although the story was fast-paced, i like your control over your writing
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Whoa... total shocker
That was totally not expected, however, it was very interesting. I wonder if the suit had mystical properties and possessed him or if it was something else. Great job on the storytelling.
DarkOne -
I must admit that the pacing here kinda struck me as odd, and several things just didn't make a whole lot of sense... But overall I liked this piece, and I liked the story behind it, so good work =)
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 2, dialog: 2, characters: 3.
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wow.
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Hope you wine
me too red !!
I hope you win
was very simple, fast paced and very well written with a impacting start, an object to work with the color and the ending was thrilling ...
Loved it ^.^
good work girl
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